Sunday, 1 November 2015

What's next???

Well Lucy has changed his wardrobe to suit herself. Every day she wears male attire but underneath has another completely femme outfit. Her everyday coat for him is a female parka jacket with a furry hood, his bag is a large female handbag, he wears female rings, has a pale colour varnish on his finger nails and his eyebrows are all plucked and tinted. Still there have been no comments from anyone.

The last few weeks have been filled with uncertainty. She has decided that he wants to transition. Well she did for a few days and then didn't and now she does again.

This is serious stuff! Lucy has researched absolutely everything in great depth. Her biggest concern is the effect her transitioning will have on everyone else. We have several kids between us from previous relationships the youngest being 19 and we have a 13 year old daughter. I also come from a very large and close family and Lucy is worried about everyone. I have told her that if my family is the close family they appear to be, what she does with her life will not impact them and they should be supportive - if they are not, then they are not the family they claim to be. I am pretty confident all my children will be fine. I'm sure there will be some laughter and lots of questions - thing is that he is very macho and male so it will be a complete surprise to them all. At the end of the day our situation may embarrass our family and friends but actually won't directly affect any of them and the way they live their lives. Directly it will affect him, me and our 13 year old daughter who happens to be very worldly wise and very accepting of anything LGBT and is always posting things on Facebook to this effect (no she does not know).

He is also very well known in football and is a well respected referee. There is very little about trans in this community but we see this also an an opportunity for Lucy to give a voice to trans in football. Lucy is emailing the FA to see what their perspective on the situation. I see this as a fantastic opportunity for Lucy.

Lucy desperately needs to transition to be the complete person she is mean to be. I will love her and be by her side all the way through this journey. The frustration of her body is increasing every day. She seems to have so much sadness inside. She identifies with the Sam Smith song - The Writings on the Wall and every word has meaning for her. It makes me so sad that she is hurting so much however she tells me that she is also the happiest she has ever been in her life.

I will continue to love and support her through every step of the way. At the end we are going to have a blessing to reaffirm our marriage. Something nice to look forward after everything. At the beginning of our relationship we went through so much (nothing trans related) and we still came out strong and smiling so I have no doubt that we can face this together. Together we are a force to be reckoned with.

The first doctors appointment is now booked and she has asked that I come with her which of course I am more than happy to do and will attend any appointments she wants me to. There is a minimum of a year waiting list for an appointment at Charing Cross Hospital which gives us time to get things in order before we have to tell people which we will do when the time is right for us.

The next thing top of the list and imminent is a name change. Luckily one of the few people that knows about Lucy (but doesn't not really understand the reality and enormity of the situation) is a childhood friend of mine but also a home owner so we can ask her to sign the paperwork. Lucy is very excited about the formal name change.

Lucy is also now going to start growing her natural hair so she does not have to be reliant on a wig. This will be interesting as he has had a grade 1 cut for years but also naturally has very curly hair. 

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