Friday, 8 December 2017

Hair, hormones and Transliving

Lucy has been growing her natural hair for nearly a year now. It is longer than shoulder length and VERY curly! So curly in fact that it is growing out sidewards rather than down. This is mainly because she has not had it cut at all so it has no shape or style. I know the feeling when you want to grow your hair and don't want to cut it but it would look so much better after a trim. She is also constantly wearing baseball caps to try and hide it - she must have 15 of these piled round the house. I have to admit I'm really not a fan of her wearing these, they just flatten the hair on top to her head and make it even more bushy on the sides. They will also be rubbing her hair which is not good when you are trying to grow it!

I have been nagging her to have it cut. She could have used my hairdresser who has her own hair salon at home but Lucy was worried about her reaction (I'm sure she will be fine) and also she may say something to her son who goes to the same school as our daughter. 

Last week we both took a day off for Christmas shopping and spent the day together. We went to Lakeside Shopping Centre which is a huge shopping complex about 45 mins from home (it took 2.5 hours to get there on the day but that's another story). We were walking around and we saw a Supercuts salon and we hovered outside for a bit with Lucy umming and ahhing about going in and having her hair cut. I could see she was nervous, even though the salon was empty. Anyway she chickened out and we walked away. She admitted that she had been really tempted but was feeling very nervous. About an hour or so later we found ourselves back at the salon where she plucked up enough courage to go in. We had a rushed whispered conversation where I told her she needed to tell the stylist her situation as the last thing she wanted was a 'mans' cut after spending all this time growing it. The receptionist said that they would take off about an inch and we both said' noooooo' and that the smallest amount needed to be cut off.

The salon was still empty and she sat down in the chair and an older stylist came to cut her hair. I saw them having a whispered conversation and knew that she was telling the stylist her situation. This lady gave Lucy a really lovely cut and style and there was minimal hair on the floor. It now looks so much better and she is wearing the baseball caps less when I am around which is great. It has a lovely style to it and I know she is pleased with it. 

I previously mentioned that the GIC had now taken over the hormone treatment using shared care with our GP. She was switched from patches which her skin was reacting very badly to, over to tablets. She has been on the tablets for about 6 weeks and last week started to suffer severe sleeplessness and was waking up in the night with bad chest pains and pain in both her arms. As you can imagine we were both really worried about these episodes. She made an appointment with her GP this week who checked her out. He didn't seem to think it was heart related as it was not happening when she was being active (she referees football several times a week and carries around all the dj gear although her muscle strength is not what it used to be) and he suspected it was a reaction to the tablets. He has now prescribed gel which she has been on for 4 days now and the chest and arm pains have gone, and she is sleeping a bit better. She has a full medical check up next week as well which was already booked. It was a bit of a scary time.

This is a UK based international support group and lifestyle magazine for the cross dressing and transgendered community, TransLiving International is an established group within the Transgender community with members all over the world. They publish TransLiving magazine in printed and digital format on a quarterly basis and have a regular feature called 'Partners' Corner'. 

A little while ago a friend of mine (thanks Amy!) noticed they were looking for a partner to contribute for their next edition and she thought it would be something that would interest me. I messaged the editor to find out exactly what they were looking for and I was given a very brief outline. Basically anything goes, they just wanted something from a partners prospective and wanted 1,200 words. 

I was more than happy to do this but wasn't sure how Lucy would feel about it. As we now have quite a few people we actually know in real life that read my blog now I am more careful with what I write. For me it is writing about our situation and our life together but for Lucy this is private details about her life and transition I write about. She does read all my blog posts and so far has been okay with everything but I just want to make sure I don't step over the line. I wrote something up and actually had problems getting the word count down, unlike the essays I used to write for school where I always had trouble reaching the word count required! In the end after cutting it down it was 1,300 words but I was assured by the editor this was fine and then he mentioned not to forget the pictures.... pictures??.... no one had said anything about pictures! Lucy read it over and was okay with what I had written. Then I dropped the bombshell that they wanted pictures....... we have hundreds of pictures on both our Facebook profiles however only friends can see them and we have the odd one or ten (!) on the Pinks official photo page but nothing else out in the public domain. This was a big deal....  I'm the identifiable person and Lucy looks nothing like the male mask she wears but would be identified by association with me .... what if someone we knew but didn't know about Lucy saw them..... but thinking realistically if someone we did know saw the pictures in a transgender publication, to confront us with them they would have to out themselves. I think the risk is minimal and in any case she is going full time in the next month or so.

So, the digital TransLiving magazine edition 58 was published yesterday and is available, for a fee, here. Page 70 is Partners' Corner. You can also subscribe to to one or more edition in digital or paper format. My printed magazine should arrive next week. Lucy has downloaded already and her reaction was 'oh gawd'!

Friday, 1 December 2017

So, my boys met Lucy

As you are aware, my final 2 sons and their girlfriends were eager to meet Lucy. We sorted out a date when we could all go together to Pinks and had hotel rooms at the Doubletree next to each other.

Due to work commitments they arrived much later than we did so by the time they were ready we had already been out for a meal at TGI Fridays with our friend Paulette. We made our way back to the hotel bar to meet them all where they were all waiting, drinks in hand.

Lucy peeked through the window and waved and they all got up and came to meet her and gave her a hug. It was quite an emotional moment but also very euphoric. We all sat together chatting and they were introduced to Paulette and once all the drinks were finished it was time to take them to Pinks.

When we walked in there were lots of people we knew and we introduced everyone. We showed them all round the place and of course the famous pink room and they all thought it was great. We ended up back down by the open fires for a bit and Lucy sat with the girlfriends who were asking some relevant questions and having girly chats. It was nice that they were all interacting with Lucy like they had known her forever (well they have, but just not looking like Lucy).

We all went round to the various dance floors and settled into our usual ground floor spot where we partied away the rest of the evening. Drinks were flowing and it was really fantastic to see everyone relaxing and having a totally fun time. My youngest sons girlfriend has only been seeing him for a year and a half and it was the first time we had seen her truly let her hair down and what a fun girl she is, so perfect for my son, just like the other girlfriend and wife of my other 2 sons. We just had great fun with lots of laughter, dancing and of course lots and lots of pictures and videos.

This was probably one of the best nights we have ever had at Pinks along with the times when my eldest son, his wife and my daughter came with us. I am so proud of all their reactions and positive attitude towards to Lucy. Of course I will take a little credit for the adults they have turned out to be and I am obviously so proud of them anyway with the achievements they have made in their own lives, but also credit to them all personally for being the open minded, non judgemental and loving people they are and for picking partners who feel the same.