Lucy so far....... 13 months on HRT

At last the GIC have written to our GP. It took quite a few weeks from the last appointment back in July and the further delays as her GP wanted her to come in to discuss the treatment and have her blood pressure taken. It was easy for this GP to blithely tell Lucy to make an appointment but trying to get one with any specific GP at our practice is a nightmare and if you are lucky you may get one in a few weeks time. After 2 weeks of trying to get an appointment with the specific GP, Lucy rung him and said that she had be unable to get an appointment with him and was desperate to get the new medication. Lo and behold he sorted out an appointment for the Lucy the next day.

After the GIC appointment she also had a blood test and the results were great and have put her in well into the ranges she was looking to achieve. I'm still waiting for all the big mood swings that everyone keeps talking about but she seems to be exactly the same as she always been with the exception of a couple of spiky moments which are not too bad.

Lucy had asked the GIC to prescribe oestrogen in tablet format (6mg) as she was having reactions to the patches. It didn't matter where we put the patches they would end up irritating her and making her skin itchy and sore plus she did have a habit of leaving a sticky residue anywhere she sat when she wasn't dressed. We had a few friends advise that tablet was not the best format and that patches (or injectable format which is not available in the UK) were better but due to the reaction she was having tablets was her preferred option. The GP took her blood pressure and all was ok and Lucy walked away with her tablets.

There does not seemed to have been any effect on her changing the hormone source. Everything is continuing to change at the same pace and the changes are still happening. She has got herself into a routine with taking the tablets at the same time every day so at the moment everything is all good. Roll on February 2018 for her pre-op consultation.

Lucy has also started her electrolysis and laser hair removal treatment on her face and has already had 2 sessions of each and a third session tomorrow. She hates the fact that she cannot shave for 24 hours before and what doesnt help is the hair on her face is one of the things she is most dysphoric about. As she has both treatments on the same day and shortly after each other, she manages to have a cup of tea and a shave before going for her laser treatment. She purchased the emular cream which has to be put on her skin an hour before the electrolysis which she says does help however she finds the electrolysis so far to be much less painful than the laser treatment. Apparently it is something to do with the density of the hair root which makes the laser painful. This makes sense as at home we have an IPL that we both use on our faces and I have it on the highest setting and it gives me no pain at all whereas for Lucy she cannot use the highest setting as it hurts too much so we are presuming that my hair root is less dense (I would just like to point out that I do not have a very hairy face, just those odd irritating hairs that you get).

Her hair is getting very long and curly. The longer it gets the straighter the top bit is probably partly because she wears baseball caps during the day and her hair comes out sideways underneath. The thinning patch is disappearing although the new hair is still quite fine and a lighter colour to the rest of her hair. I had been on at her for ages about letting me dye her hair as it would make the patch less visible and she eventually agreed. I bought a dark brown dye as her hair is naturally quite dark (or used to be) and put it on for the required time. I have been dying my own hair for years using professional dyes and quite often dye my friends hair for them so I knew what I was doing..... or so I thought! I had forgotten that as this was the first time her hair had ever been dyed and was virgin hair (ooeer) that it would take very well and of course it did. Only problem was that it was so dark brown that it almost looked black! It certainly was a bit of a shock when we first saw it but as I had thought, the thinning patch was even less visible so that was good news. She was worried about friends and people at football noticing however it has been over 3 weeks now and only 2 people have said anything and none of it bad. It has also faded a little and now looks a very dark brown which to be honest matches the hair colour of the hair she uses anyway and we have all got used to it. It couldn't have been that bad or there would have been more comments especially when she was refereeing. It will need to be done again soon however she wants something less dark so watch this space.

As her hair is now so long and full-time is looming (date yet still TBA!) this does mean we can start looking at the option of extensions to give her the look she wants. I'm not sure how she will cope with them as she struggles to brush and wash the wigs she has without my help and it will be harder when it is extensions attached on her head. She also does not have a lot of patience and gets defeatist when it is not going how she wants.

13 months on HRT and counting.......

Still waiting.....

So here we are..... over a week since Lucy had her counselling session with the  Online Gender GP and still no medication.

After Lucy's session she heard back saying that she had been accepted, the proposed medication and had to set up a standing order for the monthly fee which of course she did immediately as we are keen to get the ball rolling. She received an email confirming that the funds had been received and that her case had been passed to Dr Webberley. The next day Lucy received an email directly from Dr Webberley just asking if she had any further questions; she went back asking about the possibility of some other medication that had been mentioned but confirmed she was eager to start. As of this moment in time some 32 hours later there is still no response. Lucy chased the office up with an email again this morning but still nothing. This is so frustrating as there was plenty of contact before we paid anything and now it is all within touching distance communication has slowed right down. It just seems no matter who you use there are delays at every turn. The rollercoaster is in full swing!

On a positive note, Lucy has outed herself, intentionally, to a few more people this week. All strangers but it is still a big thing nonetheless.

One was a lady at the threading place we use to get our eyebrows done. Although Lucy had previously told the owner this particular lady did not know. They have always done her eyebrows nicely however I have always thought that they have left them too thick rather than giving the shape that CIS females would want. On this occasion Lucy told all and as a result has the best shaped eyebrows she has had done so far!

Another was a female passenger in her taxi who was on her way back from a tattoo convention and the conversation turned to a trans guy who had been on the TV show 'Tattoo Fixers' and that the tattoo cover up job that had been done on him was awful. The conversation continued and Lucy took the plunge and told the passenger about herself, showed pictures and explained that she was looking to get a tattoo cover up herself. A really friendly chat ensued and although the passenger herself was not a tattooist, she had been interested in tattoos for very many years and gave some recommendations of places for Lucy to go.

All this tattoo talk put Lucy on the road to get her tattoos looked at again with a view to having a cover up job of the awful male ones she has. She went into a tattoo parlour in our local town. She was nervous of doing this as this town is where she grew up and she as 'he' is quite well known. There didn't seem to be anyone she knew in this particular place and the tattooists were not familiar. The chap took her to one side and discussed the options however as Lucy was presenting as 'him' the pictures that he was showing her were skulls, daggers and the like. This is not what Lucy wants. She wants something more girlie with flowers so she took him to one side and explained the situation. The chap did not seem at all fazed by this information and took traces of her existing tattoos and asked her to send over some examples of what she would like which she has done. We are going back on Tuesday to see what designs he has come up with. All exciting!! Although Lucy has been trawling through the tattooists (they are husband and wife) Facebook pages hoping there are no shared mutual friends. None so far but she is still nervous.

Lucy has used the IPL for the second time on her face. No noticeable changes as yet. It does say to leave 2 weeks between treatments but the leaflet is geared up for CIS females whose hair is finer so she has decided that she will give it a go once a week. Watch this space.......

Gender GP Counselling

So yesterday Lucy had her telephone counselling session with a counsellor from TheGender GP.

As you can imagine the lead up to the telephone call was nerve wracking. She was given a telephone number, name and a time to call. She went out and got her eyebrows threaded (the best they have been done so far I have to say – they look amazing), walked the dog, had a shower and tried to relax as much as she could but was full of excitement and nervousness.

She went up to our bedroom to make the call – not because the house was full of people, the opposite in fact as we were all out, but just it was away from everything and any distractions.

She rung the number and it was answered by a ‘male’ voice. She asked for the female counsellor and the voice confirmed that it was them. Initially Lucy was a little taken aback as she had not expected the counsellor to be a trans woman however actually it was great as Lucy was able to relax and talk about everything knowing that the person at the end of the phone probably knew exactly how she had been feeling all these years and how she feels now. I think Lucy opened up more than she would have done if it had been a CIS woman. Also this was the first time that Lucy had spoken about her life from childhood to now, her feelings, dysphoria and more to anyone else other than me.

It is times like this when Lucy is recounting conversations that I get to learn new things about feelings and experiences she has had over the years. It’s not that she doesn’t tell me things or deliberately withholds anything however I know she has not told me everything, not because she doesn’t want to, but more that it just hasn’t arisen in conversation. I am always keen to know as much as I can as I feel it just gives me a deeper understanding of her. I just want to hold her hand for every step of this journey we are on. I do love this woman so damn much!

The session was meant to be 40 mins however after 55 mins the counsellor said she had to go as she had another session in 5 mins. Lucy felt like she had only been on the phone for about 5 mins not 55 and that the conversation just flowed. They chatted about everything from her childhood and earliest memories right up until now, the dysphoria feelings, depression, dressing, going out, family, life, previous relationships and our relationship as well as expectations and future plans.

She told Lucy she had really enjoyed chatting with her and could have chatted for many more hours and Lucy felt the same. She said that she would write up her report to Dr Webberley in the next day or so but also that she was supporting Lucy in her request for treatment which was great news. When I came home and saw Lucy after her call she just looked so radiant, happy and just so ‘girlie’. And so it seems another step has been taken on this long and winding road. Fingers crossed she gets the first batch or hormones next week. Exciting times indeed!

In the meantime she has used the IPL for the first round of treatment on her face, chest and tonight I’m going to do her bum and backs of her thighs. It says that you needs 4-5 sessions with 2 weeks in between for each area so we are not expecting to see any difference for a while.

The Facebook partner support group I have mentioned before in previous posts seems to have had a few new members join in the last week and a couple of people in particular have the same outlook and attitude to me as well as having a few children. It is great to meet people who you can identify with, have lots in common with and can support each other. Heres to new friendships!
 

Holiday, nails, Gender GP and more..... couple of weeks catch up

So it has been a bit of a while since I last posted. Life has gone on and before you know it a few weeks have passed. So what has been happening?

Well we had our last holiday with 'him'. Well I say him but really it was a combination of him and Lucy but outwardly appearing as male. We went to Spain, all inclusive which we don't usually do. She was shaved for the whole holiday and Lucy was not far away with anything 'he' wore. It was a lovely, well needed break and M had a great time. Only criticism was our room didn't have aircon which would have been a total nightmare if Lucy had fully been there. As with all holidays it was over all too soon.

On the day we flew out to Spain Lucy also gave up smoking. This is the second time she has done this. The first time was in 2009 and she was a non smoker for several years however she drifted back into smoking after she put on 5 stone in weight. She has since lost all of this weight and is trying to watch what she is eating as she doesn't want to pile it all back on again. Easier said than done. She has now been cigarette free for 15 days and going. It has been hard, the first week or so were a bit of a nightmare and she has been having problems sleeping so went to the GP yesterday to get some sleeping tablets just for a few days and to get her body back into a better sleeping routine. Last night was the first night she actually managed to sleep for a few hours which is great. She drives for a living so needs to be alert when behind the wheel.

When we got back home from holiday Emma the nail lady was over a few days later and Lucy was able to have her to have her toe nails done professionally for the first time. Suffice to say Lucy was very happy. Emma also gave her fingernails a proper shape and file so they look great too.

We had an evening out at Pink Punters last Friday. Ideal timing as we both had nice tans and at midnight it was Lucy's birthday so we could really celebrate. As always we had great fun and Lucy looked stunning in a pink and black dress. I can honestly say that I love being out with Lucy and am incredibly attracted to her in all ways. Lucy was working the following evening and we had said "no shots" other than a birthday celebratory one at midnight of course however as expected we had a few others! We met friends old and new. Although it was a Big Night Out (BNO - a trans evening) there did not seem to be many other trans people around although we do know there is a whole load who like to sit up in the Attic Bar chatting. We are not keen on the Attic Bar as it is so very hot up there even on the coldest days and we both love to dance so you will always find us on the dance floor shaking our stuff. Lucy loves SnapChat and the next day I love looking back over her snaps from the evening and they never fail to make me smile.
 











And so much yet again for avoiding the official photographer!! We ended up in several pictures!!

For Lucy's birthday I splashed out and bought her a Philips Lumea 2009 (IPL). It was a lot of money but was well worth it and is one step in the direction towards permanent hair removal and will mean hopefully that she will need less laser treatment when the time comes. It will also have the added benefit that she will need less foundation if she can zap many of the hairs on her face now. It will only work on the darker coloured hairs and won't work on grey hairs however these will be the ones that will need to be lasered. I know she was pleased with it as it was unexpected due to the cost but as I had saved the money.... so what the hell! We had some fun last night doing test patches on both of us and our daughters tried it as well. So far no reactions which is great.

In the meantime Lucy has been in email communication with The Gender GPs (Dr Webberley) office. We paid the money last night which will put her on the path to hormones until the GIC start their process - still waiting for an appointment nearly a year later. Exciting stuff though!