Wednesday, 29 June 2016

GP update and more

So, on Friday Lucy went to the GP to find out any update on the possibility of getting bridging hormones. It turns out the GP had had a discussion with the other partners of the practice and they decided that it was not something they would do. This is just such a shame as we feel that this particular GP really does want to help. Lucy has left him with some more information to read and share, and showed him a few more websites to look up however she has told him that if he still refuses to prescribe bridging hormones that she will go to the online GenderGP and will get them that way. He was not really happy about this and has said that he will contact Lucy back in a week. We won't be holding our breath on that one! Lucy also showed some pictures to him of us on our nights out and he said that he would not have recognised her.

She also had a discussion about her thinning hair (not badly on the crown of her head) and the drug Finasteride. This is the one she had casually mentioned to me a week or so ago. The GP has given her a prescription for it in for 1mg doses. He did hesitate as said there were some nasty side effects and Lucy told me to go and look them up which I obviously did (Lucy knew full well the contra indications). Well it appears that there are some pretty drastic 'potential' long term effects a couple of which could affect her after surgery but some that could affect her 'junk' now. It all just makes me very nervous and I don't know the percentage of people affected by the side effects however I do know there are several lawsuits against the drug company in the US due to start autumn 2016. Not very reassuring. I suppose some of the side effects are not a problem however for the moment while she still has her 'junk' we do make the best of things and it would be sad for this to stop before it has to.... if you know what I mean. It also looks like it is quite an expensive drug and we have to buy it on a private prescription although it is cheaper to get it in 5mg tablets and then cut the tablets into 4 giving 4 daily doses. The benefits of taking Finasteride for Lucy though would be great and I know she would feel happier if she was to take it. At the end of the day it is her choice not mine and I will support whatever she choses to do. Being totally honest, on this journey we are on all the decisions must be hers.

She has now decided that she will give up smoking when we go on holiday at the end of August. She was supposed to be giving up beginning of July however she feels it would be better to do it when we are out of the country for a week so different place and routines etc. It is so important that she does give up.

Last week she also came out to another passenger in her taxi. This lady worked in Milton Keynes which prompted a discussion about Pink Punters and ended with Lucy telling all and showing pictures. The lady was very supportive and positive. All good signs of Lucy getting braver.

She has also been to the bank to pay money in over the counter. No funny looks, no sarcastic comments, just plain old fashion customer service. The note on her account must be doing the trick at last!

And.... ta dah!!! This Saturday I was out of the house overnight with our daughters so Lucy was home alone for a few hours. At last she attempted her own make up and was able to be dressed at home for quite a while which I know she really enjoys. She took hundreds of pictures of herself all round the house and she did a great job on her make up. I'm so proud of her that she did this. She is definitely more confident about doing her own makeup after this and has come up with MORE stuff she MUST have (of course). She has decided from now on she does want to do her own make up but with me there to assist. She did mention that she had managed to poke the mascara wand in her eye about 6 times when trying to apply it. Now she knows why I hate putting it on other people so much!

We are now gearing up for Sparkle in Manchester which is only just over a week away (8-11th July). The hotel has been booked for ages, we have tickets for the ball on the Saturday night and have also purchased tickets for the VIP lounge which has a seated area, drinks waiter service to the table and much better toilets. Worth the extra money. It will be great for Lucy to be able to spend 3 days completely as herself. We know a handful of other people who are also going and we are both really looking forward to it. Now she is keen to do her own make up it will make it easier for me as it will need to be done twice a day with us being out and about in the day as well as the evening. Only downside is that I worry that Lucy will be on a bit of a downer when we come back.

Tuesday, 14 June 2016

So whats been happening??

I have been quiet for a while as there has been nothing major of note..... well nothing that is out of the ordinary for our life although I am sure our 'normal' is definitely not the same as many other married couples.

The replacement hair came eventually. The company ProWigs was very good at keeping in touch and definitely seemed to want to sort the issue out. I do think that some of this was because I had raised a PayPal dispute. The only other thing I would say is that it is a minefield trying to send anything to China and it took nearly 3 weeks as we had to amend our documentation for customs (it only took 4 days for the replacements to get to us once they had received the faulty ones back). The replacements were much better than what we had originally received however they were both a good 3 inches shorter that before and although manufactured better and the fringes (bangs) are looking a whole lot improved but are much longer and wavier. This gives us a conundrum.... I'm ok at cutting my fringe myself but I do have the benefit that it does grow back if I don't do it right, however on these wigs it needs to be perfect. Lucy is not brave enough to go to a hairdresser to have them cut so I'm going to have to take a risk. The fringes need to be straightened too so I emailed the wig company who have said I can use a straightening iron but not too hot..... hmmmm.... my GHD's are only one temperature however I can turn them on, let them heat up and then turn them off and let the cool a little. I'm hoping this will do the trick. Not looking forward to all this I have to admit.

Lucy goes to the local shopping centre to get her eyebrows threaded. There are several little shops that offer this service and she has been using the same one for a while however it is not my preferred choice so I told her to use the one I use which I also think is better. She has been there twice now and the shape of her eyebrows is definitely improved. Lucy must like the people there as after checking they don't live local to us, she told them her secret and showed pictures of us out together. The woman was hugely supportive and nice to Lucy. This is a big deal as this is the first time she has opened up to someone outside of our life. I know she was buzzing that she had done it and I was immensely proud of her. Another small step......

Lucy gave in and shaved her forearms. To be honest I was pleased about this as it did seem weird this being the only place with hair and I have got used to her hairless arms. As far as I know no-one has commented in everyday life and daughter M has not batted an eyelid at it. Lucy has also mentioned that on some of the trans forums there is some discussion about treatment for head hair loss (she is a bit thinning in one place but not too bad). I am a bit sceptical but she is getting all the details so we will see.

Still no news from the GP on the bridging hormones.... actually no news from the GP at all. Lucy has printed off some more documentation and now has an appointment to see him on 24th June. Ages away I know but this is the soonest appointment she could get to see this specific GP. These long waits are excruciating. At least this gives her some time to give up smoking before any treatment which she is planning to do beginning of July. We have still heard nothing more from the GIC.

Lucy promises she will start to practice doing her makeup. Apparently she planned on doing it a week or so ago but turns out it was half term so M was home from school. She nearly did it the other night but M was unwell and came downstairs so nothing happened then either. This practicing malarkey is not happening.... I know she wants to go somewhere to be shown what to do however there is plenty of You Tube video's and I was never shown what to do. I just learnt by myself admittedly a long time ago but still pick up tips from the internet and Facebook. 

On Friday we went out to Pink Punters for the regular trans night. We took my friend S with us (remember she likes the trans nights). We stayed in the new hotel we have discovered which is really lovely. Not so many trans stay here however last time Lucy made it out all dressed without any problems so her confidence was higher. After some frantic rushing to get ready (as she is always late and I'm still having to do her makeup!), a problem with the aircon (apparently I didn't turn it on but just adjusted all the settings to high) we made it out. This time we used the lift and as the doors opened on the ground floor Lucy was faced with a normal older CIS woman who had been waiting for the lift. We did have a smile together but nothing was said and we set off in the taxi. To start with the taxi driver seemed a little straight faced but once Lucy started singing the wrong (but more fitting words) to a song he turned the music up and was laughing along with us. Don't think he will forget us in a hurry!

We had the usual great night. I was worried a bit at the start as it was a really warm evening (for the UK) and Lucy was suffering with the heat continually having to dab at her face and at one point wanted to go home. She eventually cooled down and a couple of drinks later everything was fine (Sambuca shots work wonders). We met up with a couple of other trans friends of ours and as usual made some new friends along the way. A lovely fun evening with no dramas. We do like a drink.... Lucy doesn't drink at any other time so these nights out are a time to relax. Unfortunately it appears she does not have any recollection of the evening past about 3am.... luckily she uses Snapchat and had a laugh saying that according to Snapchat she had had a great time! We also do try to avoid the official photographer.... I have family in the area (even though it is 100 miles from home) and we know that they have been in this club on occasions. It is not that anyone will recognise Lucy... more so me however Lucy quite often ends up in a picture of two and very occasionally I do.... usually when we are with people who have grabbed the photographer for a picture although we are usually too busy dancing and just having fun to pose for photos. The pictures from Friday night are usually posted on the club website on the following Monday so last night we were scrolling through them all. I said to Lucy I was sure that there were no pictures of me as the photographer generally does not take any of me however just as I said it the last 2 pictures on the website were of Lucy and the photographer and then Lucy and I in a group! So much for avoiding the photographer.....  we did roll our eyes at each other! I know that Lucy is still on a high from the evening. It was such great fun.

Sparkle is now less than one month away. We have never been before and everyone says what a great event this is. For Lucy this will be 3 days of Lucy being able to be dressed 24/7 and there are music events and lots of stalls and things to do as well as all the usual clubs, bars etc which will be open in the area. There is also a VIP seating area with upgraded toilets and bar so we have bought tickets for this. There is even a ball on the Saturday night which we have also bought tickets for.  It is held in a well known LGBT area of Manchester so should be a safe area. As you can imagine Lucy is so very excited about going. It will be such a big deal and I'm sure it will be great fun too.