tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-64852343407835713352024-03-13T03:17:49.512+00:00It's all about my LucyThe ongoing life of living with a transgender wife. Showing the story through the eyes of a devoted and loving CIS wifeAvril Clarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16563764797328640219noreply@blogger.comBlogger118125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485234340783571335.post-91817524278493865112019-08-21T16:07:00.000+01:002019-08-22T08:20:53.879+01:00Lucy's thoughts - one year on<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Recently it was the 1 year anniversary of the Sunday Mirror article. So much has happened in that year, personally for us and for Trans Radio UK. As part of this I now also write the blog for the radio station which updates on lots of what we have been doing in the community. The radio station recently had a new web page so head over to <a href="http://www.transradiouk.com/">www.transradiouk.com</a> and have a look. There is a blog tab and there you will find what has been happening for us.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">For me, life goes on. The radio station has really taken off this year and it is all very exciting. Only in the last few days we have undertaken to organise Trans Pride London 2020 as the group organising something for 2019 (and which should have been the first ever London TransPride) seemed to have splintered off and there is nothing properly organised. More details on the Trans Radio UK Facebook page and on the new Facebook page for <a href="https://www.facebook.com/transpridelondon/" target="_blank">Trans Pride London</a>. Also in May and June I was part of the 2 proper training sessions that took place at Epsom and St Helier NHS Trust. Both were amazing days and everyone was really engaged and on board which was great. I gave them link to the NHS Rainbow Badge scheme which will be launched in the next few weeks. Very exciting!</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Personally it has been a great year so far for Lucy. She has done lots more interviews for various publications and is in a film with Dapper Laughs aka Daniel O'Reilly which premieres in September called <a href="http://thefancarpet.com/movie_news/world-premiere-announced-for-comedy-legend-dan-dapper-laughs-oreillys-fanatical-from-filmmaker-michael-mcdonald/" target="_blank">Fanatical</a> - this is a comedy documentary about football and its fans. She has been written about in the <a href="https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/latest-news/transgender-referee-lucy-clark-support-18852859" target="_blank">Sunday Star</a> which sadly used all the old pictures from last year and obviously Lucy has changed a lot over that time, <a href="https://www.femalefirst.co.uk/movies/lucy-clark-exclusive-interview-fanatical-movie-dapper-laughs-1206370.html?fbclid=IwAR3huQFMU5smHn4fNfxn4MtPkDxHOg9RFZcJUtqFFtClNrQgj899pN9jU0U" target="_blank">FemaleFirst</a> which used a combination of old and new pictures, there is an article coming out in The Sun and she has been on <a href="https://talksport.com/radio/listen-again/1565892000/1565901000/?fbclid=IwAR0b-tni0mfjQJUnIPexy5BSc_wTQ5ukijXX17UwUQjLzS9esaKQYLXYNcg" target="_blank">TalkSport</a>. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Leading up to the anniversary of the article and beyond Lucy published a series of Facebook posts saying what happened and how she was feeling in her own words. With her permission I am sharing them here......</span></span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">2nd August 2019</span></span></b><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Ok so this time of the year makes me think a lot about what was going on this time last year. Last year was madness and all went by like a whirlwind and there are a few people have spoke to me about what happened etc so I have decided to document it here on my social media. If you are bored of it all and do not want to hear/read it then I suggest you unfriend me or mute me for a month! lol :)<br /><br />1st Aug 2018 Soooo the first post is a catch up....By now immediate Family and certain friends all knew about me...I had decided after the heart attacks that I was going to continue refereeing as life was too short (my original plan was to stop) I had told the FA about me and I spoke to Kellie on the same day, both said the same....this will make the papers! We headed off to Herne Bay and had dinner on a little pub on the seafront. Kellie suggestion was that the story went out in the Mirror as they had covered her story really well...We agreed that this is what we would do and left it to Kellie to organise. This was both and exciting and nerve wracking day! at this point only those that knew "Lucy" were on this facebook! #madness</span></span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="_5afx" style="direction: ltr; font-family: inherit;"><span class="_58cm" style="font-family: inherit;">14th August 2019</span></span></span></span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I worked the Wednesday night as normal and at the end of the night I sat on the rank alone as normally happens late on waiting for a job. I was thinking about how mad the next few days were going to be and I thought how this was it all those years of heartache were finally going to be over and there would be no more hiding. My mind took me back to Balham House.....now I am not going to lie there prob has not been a week in my life where suicide had not crossed my mind up to this point but thankfully since I was probably about 20 all it has ever been was a passing thought that lasted no more than 5 minutes but back in my teenage years it was on my mind constantly. When things got really bad in my head I would head to Balham House, for those of you who don't know this building it is on Collingwood Road where I lived from the age of about 3 and then at the age of 12 we moved to Beauchamp Road which was just off Collingwood Road and was 30 seconds away from Balham House. In my really bad times when I could see no escape from the what I thought was fucked up feelings in my head I headed to Balham House and would head to the 15th floor via the lift and stand at the top looking down willing myself to have the guts to jump. Thankfully my body would not let me as I thought about what state I would be in if I survived the jump....I probably would not be able to play football!.... I used to say to myself not today tomorrow...(interestingly another Trans friend has written and spoke about her thoughts of not today) I would then use the stairs to come down as I didn't want to wait for the lift in changed my mind. I would usually be in floods of tears as I ran down the staircase and I would then go and sit over Collingwood Rec until I had sorted my head out, Even the door entry system never stopped me as I would ring a random flat to get access. Thankfully I never did jump and I finally sorted my head out where It was no more than a thought and the thought of Balham house stopped decades ago. I can drive past it and look at it with no issues now but if I stop look and think I always get emotional. That night last year saw me sitting with tears down my eyes and the drive home tonight was exactly the same as I stopped to think and take a picture. Now I am not sad because I didn't jump I am sad because of how I felt when I went to that 15th floor. You may have read that there was an attempt and I will get this out there....I went to a friends and was feeling pretty low...his Dad had loads of home made red wine, I drank loads like it was water and I reckon we are talking a few litres...I also necked a load of tablets....I do not remember much more but I went home collapsed on the bathroom floor...My poor Mum took me to hospital and I had my stomach pumped...I actually thought it was Christmas despite it being Summer time and I remember I felt like crap for days after...they thought it was just drink as I could not tell them because when they asked my Mum was there and i didn't want to admit it in front of my mum...just like when I had my appendix out I couldn't say yes to smoking as my mum was there and I ended up with a collapsed lung! Moral of the story be truthful to your Mum!<br /><br />As for Balham House....you never got me and you never will!<br /><br />Sorry if this is a bit long and I doubt many have made it this far...I just felt the need to document this as a final bit of closure I suppose. Can I just add that now for a year I have not had any thoughts whatsoever...none! Not today and not tomorrow either! #lifeisamazing</span></span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="_5afx" style="direction: ltr; font-family: inherit;"><span class="_58cm" style="font-family: inherit;">15th August 2019</span></span></span></span></b><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="_5afx" style="direction: ltr; font-family: inherit;"><span class="_58cm" style="font-family: inherit;"></span></span>So the next instalment of a week in the life of me takes us to Thursday...The news of the day was that the mirror were now not prepared to give us edit on the headline but they were on the copy. Now let me get this out there as I know it has been the topic of conversation. I know as a few people have told me and also told me the fee's people think I got...Yes there was a fee...Was it a lot no...Let's just say that after I gave Kellie a slice for all the hard work she had put in and after I had given the lawyer his fee the amount that was left allowed me to get my front teeth sorted, hair extensions fitted and get some stock for the pest control van, we may also of had a couple of takeaways and treated ourselves to a couple of nights at pinks. That was it....the amounts I have heard of 10k 20k and even 50k are way off the mark...Way off. You can do the maths yourselves and for the record I had 2 veeners as I couldn't afford crowns. Yes we could have gone to another paper and got a lot more money but by going to the mirror we had edit on the copy and had a journo that Kellie trusted and how the first story was written was so important so I was told and this turned out to be true. We also asked for edit on the pictures but as seems standard that didn't happen! We was assured however that the headline would not be sensationalised and would not be a "sun" headline. We had come this far so we agreed, We also insisted there would be nothing about the children other than I had 3. No names no ages etc as it was important that I protected them. I told them not to ask as I would not answer end off no discussion. I would rather not give them the story than involve the children. We then had another bit of a shock as we found out it would be a 3 part story.....Sun Mon and Sun...really! However we agreed.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">So the night came and we arranged to meet at a hotel in Gatwick...the Sofitel and for an airport hotel it was a posh one! We headed to the hotel, nervous, excited and unsure what we were heading into. We parked and made our way to the hotel and rang Janine the Journo...she said she would come and meet us in the lobby. Jeez not gonna lie I was so nervous...Janine came down from the room and we headed for the lift to go to the room. We entered the room to find they had hired out a whole suite..waiting was a photographer and a make up artist. We sat a the table and they asked us if we wanted a drink and any food...and the photographer disappeared and came back with some wine and we started drinking. The make up artist didn't really do much as I think I had slapped loads on and it would have taken her a week to get the foundation off alone! We then just sat chatting and drinking and drinking and chatting just like old friends who have come round for a drink and a chat. They then wanted to do a video and take some pictures...I say some I mean hundreds..."that's it Lucy look this way that way sit here stand there...good good good"...they wasn't good so he was a liar they were awful! After this they wanted pictures of both of us so we posed "good good good" and again no they wasn't they were awful! We then drank some more and chatted. I asked how long they had booked the suite for..."all night" whose staying here then "no one" I said "WTF why didn't you stay we would have had the suite for the night rather than wasting it!" By now the make up artist and photographer had gone so we stayed chatting until we finished the bottle of wine that we were on.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">We then headed home having felt like we had just had a good night out with friends....We would get the write up tomorrow.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>16th August 2019</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">So today’s update on a week in the life of me....</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">On the Friday we got to read the article that was going to go in the paper on the Sunday. It was really well written and we only had to change a couple of minor things. There were some parts that made us laugh and we allowed Janine a bit of artistic licence where she said things like I looked down at the floor etc. I’d had a few glasses of wine I was full of confidence lol. Kellie was great checking we were ok and I had a chat with the Lawyer. All was good it was just a waiting game now...off I went to work with no one any the wiser....😂</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>17th August 2019</b> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">So today's update on last years events....<br /><br />Saturday....so in the afternoon aware that the story was coming out tomorrow so I sent a whatsapp message to 1/2 dozen friends. These were either really close friends or long term friends whom I had been close to on years gone by. There were a couple whom I wanted to include in this list but I did not have their numbers and didn't want to send a facebook message so to those I apologise. I spent the day talking to these important people in my life and the response was great if a few of them were a bit shocked and even a bit sad that I had not confided with them my deep secret. I tried to explain why but I can understand where they came from. One did not reply for days as in his words he was "mourning" and there was a funny moment with one of them Iain who rang me up after his game to talk about it....We spoke for about 10 minutes when I said to him you have not read your whatsapp have you? He hadn't and went away to read the message but at the time it was pretty funny as everyone at home sat looking at me waiting for the reaction lol</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">We decided to invite the neighbours over to let them know what was going on...only one side were in so we invited them over and we opened the wine and sat chatting....We were having a really good evening when the Journo text me to let me know my story was on the front page and pages 4/5...WTF! We expected it to be around pages 20 odd and nowhere near the front yet alone the front page. We then put on Sky news as they do a review of the front pages. They did a review of the front pages but not the mirror...we sat watching and continued drinking and were still in shock that there was going to be a bit on the front page!<br /><br />Then it happened and the front page of the Sunday Mirror is about Lucy Clark....I think we all stood up screaming and shouting I certainly did...WHAT THE F*** hahaha OMG it was madness! We then received a face time message from Shaun and Charlie and they were like WTF....we were all laughing and shocked! We were all buzzing not sure why but it was all just totally mad and surreal.<br /><br />With this out there we both decided that now was the time to put a message out on our old facebooks which we both did and long into the night messages of support were coming through. The phone was buzzing like it was broken as message after message came through It was so humbling and emotional and a night I will never forget.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I thought I had closed off all ways that people I did not know off contacting me however I did not think about the leagues I officiated on and even at 3am in the morning I had journalists from other papers ringing me and leaving messages. I did not respond to any of them.<br /><br />At about 4.30 I finally went to bed...a little bit pissed and my head in a whirlwind....I needed some sleep as I had a big day ahead and there were vans and lorries all over the country dropping newspapers off that had my fat arse on the front of them.<br /><br />I knew I would wake up and my life would never be the same again.....</span></span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">19th August 2019</span></span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">A week in the life of...<br /><br />Sunday.<br /><br />So today’s the day...Avril woke up and went down the shop and I dragged myself out of bed and started getting ready for football. I checke my phone to see over a hundred notifications. Today was going to be a mad day.<br /><br />Seeing the paper in print made it all real...god what an awful picture if only I had done this 2 years and 4 stone ago<br /><br />Avril was coming to my game and we headed off to QPR training ground where my match was being played. When we got there I went to the changing room and then went to see the managers and make them aware of the situation in case they hadn’t seen the papers. Both managers I knew and they were both cool and we just went about team sheets exchanges etc with no issues. By now the journo has arrived along with a pap....who was there to take pics obviously and it was agreed that I would ok which ones they could use. It wouldn’t matter tho as it turned out another paper had sent down a photographer anyway as they had found out where I was reffing despite us trying to keep the venue hush hush... the game went really well and Kellie turned up during the first half and she sat with Avril and some of the supporters and chatted away. At the end of the game I chatted with some of the supporters and they were really fab....all was well.<br /><br />This was however the calm before the storm....I wanted to grab a shower but had left some stuff in the car so I went with Avril to grab my stuff....with my head in the car I heard someone call my name...I turned round and a guy stood there...”Hi Lucy Neil Sidley from the sun” I just said “Sorry I cannot talk to you as I am only talking to the mirror” by now Avril had gone to get Kellie and Kellie came towards us....with that the Sun report started legging it Kellie followed him caught up with him and they had words...next thing Kellie was on the floor with the reported running off...I legged it towards Kellie but she was up and round the corner when I caught up with her she was on her hands and knees trying to catch up with the reporter along with the mirror people. Kellie had tripped on the kerb and had broken her ankle but this wasn’t stopping her...the mirror people told me that “the paps” were coming and I needed to get out of there....quick run! Hahah fecking madness...I legged it to Avril and said quick we have to go...why I don’t know I was just doing as I was told 😂😂😂🙈 still in my kit and without collecting my match fee we jumped in the car and drove out of the ground! 😂<br /><br />We liased with Kellie and arranged to meet in Cobham so we headed there and found a nice pub with a decent pub garden and we spent the next 5 hrs drinking and chatting...there was a family of travellers in there and they recognised Kellie and was talking to her about boxing when one said...excuse me are you Lucy!!! I confirmed and he told me how he had read about me....fame at last! 😂🙈<br /><br />We then headed home stopping of at KFC on the way and home to bed...a mad day!</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>Avril comment: You missed out the bit about the blacked out people carrier turning up at half time with photographers in and the mad drive out with you running towards me shouting "go go go" and me driving fast out the ground not having a clue where we were 🤣🤣🤣<br />It was the funniest thing. I was like a getaway driver 🚘🚘</i></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Onto the Monday....Avril had her piece in the paper and my story was covered in every other UK paper as well as various papers and news outlets around the world. I received a few offers to do bits and bobs but we turned them down unless they were positive for football or transgender people. I had agreed along with Avril to do an hour on Kellie’s radio show and we headed to Tunbridge with the plan to have a bit of dinner first...it was a lovely day and we sat outside eating when a car pulled up...Kellie was convinced it was a pap butI just said it was someone stopping to get a takeaway which they did...Kellie sent her driver to have a look he did and said all was ok...we finished out food then headed to the studio.<i><br /></i>The radio show went really well and we both enjoyed it and we went to a hotel for a drink...we sat chatting when Kellie pulled up a pic from the <a href="https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/footballs-first-transgender-referee-scores-13129237?fbclid=IwAR0Z40cpQhpu8797KvqW6LUCzjuZR6MTQp0yvostZAfO3-YXk0XOpsFTckQ" target="_blank">Mirror</a> online...it was of me and Kellie eating dinner and then walking to the studio and they cut out Avril and Paul the driver to make it look like, we were out together and I had “booked a new pal” 😂😂😂😂😂🙈🙈🙈🙈 </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"></span>Avril Clarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16563764797328640219noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485234340783571335.post-56842608130628257532019-03-22T16:03:00.001+00:002019-03-22T18:30:40.391+00:00Trans Radio UK first birthday<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8ovRnBaLY43A3BBQmp8Pikz7v-WTziEXslpsgatDXwP2pxNcfl__cTuyVP8SHCDC81E-jh1gS2GwbSFIVdYu8QRRr5FLOjBNSHTJnWexOc02pyfVfmCkCN_Jdip369Tzw73a2SXc3NtA_/s1600/TR+Logo+optimised+%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="422" data-original-width="1052" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8ovRnBaLY43A3BBQmp8Pikz7v-WTziEXslpsgatDXwP2pxNcfl__cTuyVP8SHCDC81E-jh1gS2GwbSFIVdYu8QRRr5FLOjBNSHTJnWexOc02pyfVfmCkCN_Jdip369Tzw73a2SXc3NtA_/s400/TR+Logo+optimised+%25281%2529.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Friday 22<sup>nd</sup> February 2019 was <a href="http://www.transradiouk.co.uk/" target="_blank">Trans Radio UK</a>’s 1<sup>st</sup>
birthday. We had come such a long way from all the ideas and planning of a radio station to those first few days on air and
wanted to do something to commemorate this.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">We have a brilliant batch of DJ’s so with them we
organised a day of live shows from 9am to midnight. Each DJ had their own live
slot throughout the day and we had advertised the schedule and their individual
shows. What was fantastic was the buzz that we all had between us on the lead
up to the day and on the day itself. We have a group chat for the DJ’s and
everyone was messaging and supporting each other throughout the individual
shows plus they all got pressie of coveted Trans Radio mugs! </span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-Qa1vCL-hwLSRBxS5RJBeHW0dIZM57g_nYNcVidcA1BIC65I9cxKCoP2js71PN7U7f9IlM-sZAmIp1LECP_fO0r-Bd5uJeFjYFfKL23uVTluxBQ1iIlVbAXP2DyJJxGNojEzKpiuQNLs8/s1600/52730284_539483106544975_1160444792660819968_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-Qa1vCL-hwLSRBxS5RJBeHW0dIZM57g_nYNcVidcA1BIC65I9cxKCoP2js71PN7U7f9IlM-sZAmIp1LECP_fO0r-Bd5uJeFjYFfKL23uVTluxBQ1iIlVbAXP2DyJJxGNojEzKpiuQNLs8/s200/52730284_539483106544975_1160444792660819968_n.jpg" width="150" /></a><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">9-12: </span></span>The day started with <b>Michelle-Anne</b> who did the first ever live breakfast show up to
midday. As always Michelle-Anne has her own unique style and loves a bit of chat
and always gets lots of listener interaction under the chat threads on the group. Her shows are always lively and start with her catchphrase of 'hiiiiyyyaaaa'!</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgAAyNgHweLD0aDttWtK2zgaFMn65y38U1nZK_hb03J2RMO0TBG8-wkedhO7I7eZBpnweGXmkZmcoPTqDS5A7u57RFNRzJPMvTNAUSwqnt3l8mhgUJTKZnvLLMSFtJUnjqLGOoQrgaXl6U/s1600/52464346_2278206565784669_7774238736765681664_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1093" data-original-width="1019" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgAAyNgHweLD0aDttWtK2zgaFMn65y38U1nZK_hb03J2RMO0TBG8-wkedhO7I7eZBpnweGXmkZmcoPTqDS5A7u57RFNRzJPMvTNAUSwqnt3l8mhgUJTKZnvLLMSFtJUnjqLGOoQrgaXl6U/s200/52464346_2278206565784669_7774238736765681664_n.jpg" width="186" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_wf-FnoEKQylDs1vuPCzCKXql590OVqgRZAj6mVY_FJL8-6DEzYgMK34KbY7TCzYIDmGRho2FVvQx_veeQMlqKgIgmwCsmO1EpeUPVc-jyHrWhByf5vwQbEc6cNddNUsCFh-yQ5q3JERA/s1600/52937468_10157427066639505_5823548613367693312_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="723" data-original-width="1023" height="141" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_wf-FnoEKQylDs1vuPCzCKXql590OVqgRZAj6mVY_FJL8-6DEzYgMK34KbY7TCzYIDmGRho2FVvQx_veeQMlqKgIgmwCsmO1EpeUPVc-jyHrWhByf5vwQbEc6cNddNUsCFh-yQ5q3JERA/s200/52937468_10157427066639505_5823548613367693312_o.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">12-3pm: <b>Shaz Kuiama</b>
was there to inject their unique style and interactive show with 3 hours of
birthday fun. Always a mine of useful (and maybe some not so useful)
information, but always interesting. She got us through the afternoon with a
very lively show.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">3-5pm: <b>DJ Lucy Clark</b> was back live on air. This
was the prelude to her again taking on a couple of regular weekly shows starting in March, The Rewind Show and Weekend Vibe. Her birthday show was
filled with lots of tunes and some interesting interviews.</span></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyVJS_R3xPlGAZjvsWYsP9xBe0wJbxBDJwGVZuXjxpqz-7uvtqk521lGGWnBs5oYVqu90kQTGi83gZKKRJBr8WXAGylVf7c14eveeVEbf0hh464alyiWcrQA3ORUwSX1u0mGhyxiaHKILq/s1600/41591388_2099824850051323_8828697424621993984_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyVJS_R3xPlGAZjvsWYsP9xBe0wJbxBDJwGVZuXjxpqz-7uvtqk521lGGWnBs5oYVqu90kQTGi83gZKKRJBr8WXAGylVf7c14eveeVEbf0hh464alyiWcrQA3ORUwSX1u0mGhyxiaHKILq/s320/41591388_2099824850051323_8828697424621993984_n.jpg" width="240" /></a><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Stephen
Ireland</b> – Chairman of <a href="https://prideinsurrey.org/" target="_blank">Pride in Surrey</a>, who is putting on the first ever
Pride event in surrey on 10<sup>th</sup> August 2019 in Woking. Trans Radio
will be attending this event so if this is olocal for you, come along and join
in the fun and come and say hello to us and we will give you a shout out on the
radio!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Joanne
Lockwood</b> – Jo and her wife Marie were featured in the second episode of the
Channel 4 documentary, <a href="https://www.channel4.com/programmes/the-making-of-me" target="_blank">The Making of Me</a>. She was talking to Lucy from her
hairdresser’s chair while she was having her hair re-done. She chatted about
the show which had been filmed over 2 years and for them really showed the
effect of transitioning can affect your partner but despite all the highs and
lows they have found their happy place together. She also chatted a bit about
her fantastic Equality, Diversity and Inclusion consultancy, <a href="https://seechangehappen.co.uk/" target="_blank">See Change Happen</a>
(you may remember that I’m working with Jo and our local NHS trust).</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Kellie
Maloney</b> – Kellie is a long term supporter of the radio station and was the
first person Lucy had interviewed back at the beginning. She came on and had a
little chit chat with Lucy. Last week they had been together on Channel 5 news
talking about the recent comments that Martina Navratilova had made about Trans
people in sport. Lucy is also going on to Kellies BBC show with some other sports people to have a
similar but longer discussion. <b>Both Lucy and Kellie announced that they would
be hosting a chat show together in March</b>, just playing music and chatting about
current topics where callers will also be able to ring in to join in. Very
exciting news!</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkSf1JAyIE7RoGxn1zeIjEQjX1Uy72AmWdedbE-N1RVNodbBp0Mh_6j4CkM3Sj_bmtwAAeGRqQHbywjTwiP1qpJed95-DKwMrap5i_dZWjivx70O29nE3wtzLSDh3-gz8ww4brf4lTY5BD/s1600/54198838_596403994175142_5709082821486706688_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1001" data-original-width="1001" height="199" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkSf1JAyIE7RoGxn1zeIjEQjX1Uy72AmWdedbE-N1RVNodbBp0Mh_6j4CkM3Sj_bmtwAAeGRqQHbywjTwiP1qpJed95-DKwMrap5i_dZWjivx70O29nE3wtzLSDh3-gz8ww4brf4lTY5BD/s200/54198838_596403994175142_5709082821486706688_n.jpg" width="200" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ8vSsTCp_poVKe1MaqGs73Uww8SJk73Nc25WYFQ2TVMtKonRJZnudl9giqR3W_yK2M60ppb5xqeQ30inN7V8pu98kVfbfBUUeCQV_KeJ6hYdyP5rKguN31mviAZjs0L9VpdxYMBz0fPJn/s1600/52948638_2346798112223857_2221783099002322944_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1201" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ8vSsTCp_poVKe1MaqGs73Uww8SJk73Nc25WYFQ2TVMtKonRJZnudl9giqR3W_yK2M60ppb5xqeQ30inN7V8pu98kVfbfBUUeCQV_KeJ6hYdyP5rKguN31mviAZjs0L9VpdxYMBz0fPJn/s200/52948638_2346798112223857_2221783099002322944_n.jpg" width="150" /></a><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">5-6pm: This was the <b>Ruby Fury </b>Goth/Metal birthday special. She crammed it full of the usual Ruby
tunes, maybe a bit lighter than some of those she would use on her evening
shows and several that were birthday songs. She was our first DJ to join us in 2018. She provided another great birthday show with her own unique style.</span></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"></span></span></span><br />
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<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">6-8pm: <b>Courtney
Louise, </b>who is one of our newer DJs, brought her own special vinyl show to the celebrations. A collection
of tunes old and new, all played live on vinyl along with her gentle chat and we
had her serenading us as well. </span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">8-10pm – <b>Michelle-Ann</b>
had obviously not had enough and she was back again but this time with her
interactive 80’s show. This lady is always happy and enthusiastic and I just
get tired listening to her – seriously she is infectious! Of course the show started with </span></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">hiiiiyyyaaaa!</span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">10pm-midnight: This was <b>Ayako Yamato</b> bringing her own unique Party Special finishing the
day with a bang. Tunes form the likes of Orbital, Velvet Acid Christ, Prodigy all of which were slightly away from her usual tunes she was giving us Alternative Disco!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">It was a totally fantastic day and the vibe from all the DJs and the interaction from all the listeners was amazing. Everyone was buzzing and chatting about it for ages and all the DJs really supported each other throughout the day. On this one day the radio station was listened to in 28 countries - wow!</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Since the birthday celebrations we have brought on some new DJs and have others in the pipeline so it is exciting times as this means more shows. Come and join TransRadioUK page on <a href="http://www.facebook.com/transradiouk" target="_blank">Facebook</a> where we have all the DJ schedules and post all the updates or join in the chat and banter on the <a href="http://www.facebook.com/groups/629156800851280" target="_blank">group</a>.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Listen in at <a href="http://www.transradiouk.co.uk/">www.TransRadioUK.co.uk</a> or via TuneIn or ask your smart speaker for TransRadioUK and follow us on your socials:</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<a href="https://twitter.com/transradiouk" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Twitter</span></span></a><br />
<a href="https://www.instagram.com/transradiouk/" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Instagram</span></span></a><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCifMYSRm9Pr63tU1CnWuAtQ" target="_blank">YouTube</a></span></span><br />
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Avril Clarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16563764797328640219noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485234340783571335.post-12409673934108360022019-02-18T15:42:00.000+00:002019-02-18T15:42:21.460+00:00Fighting the cause..... Epsom & St Helier NHS Trust - a long read! <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</xml><![endif]--><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">As you may <a href="https://itsallaboutmylucy.blogspot.com/2018/01/" target="_blank">recall</a>, Christmas 2017 Lucy spent 10 days
including Christmas Day in our local hospital. Whilst the actual medical
treatment was great, it was obvious they did not have a clue on how to treat a
transgender patient and even worse, what their legal obligations were.</span></span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">In one of my <a href="https://itsallaboutmylucy.blogspot.com/2018/04/nhs-equality-diversity-and-inclusion.html" target="_blank">blog posts</a> I did update with what I did but to recap, once Lucy was home, I contacted the NHS Trust PALS to obtain
a copy of the patient Transgender Policy only to find there was none, not even
a staff one. Instead of making a complaint, I looked for ways that this
situation could be changed and how I could work with the trust to facilitate
change. My rationale behind this was that if Lucy was to get ill again that she
would end up in one of the Trusts hospitals but also she cannot be the only
‘trans’ in the village and if I don’t make an effort to change anything then
other community members will suffer too. If I had made an official complaint, I pretty sure I would have received a letter of apology, but nothing would change.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">PALS forwarded my details on to the Equality, Diversity and Inclusion (ED&I)
Manager and at this point I had not given any details of the issues we had
faced, only that I wanted a copy of their transgender policy due to some issues
my transgender wife had faced. It took a few nudges and some veiled threats
before the DI Manager eventually got back to me where a meeting was arranged so we
could discuss the situation.</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">When I met him in April 2018, he took copious notes and was totally
shocked at how Lucy had been treated. He admitted the Trust was failing by not
having any policy and acknowledged that they had also probably broken the law.
We discussed various ways this could all be addressed and he said that he would
take this further. I have a friend, Carole, who is a sister at one of the Trust’s
Emergency Departments and she had mentioned that they use ‘link nurses’ who are
the expert and champion for a certain area, e.g. MS, Mental Health etc. She was
willing to volunteer herself as a co-ordination point ‘link nurse’ and be the
nominated person for all things ‘trans’. He thought that this was a great idea
and would explore ways to expand on this and I gave him all her relevant
contact details. I also mentioned that I had a friend, Jo Lockwood, who runs the
training consultancy <a href="https://seechangehappen.co.uk/" target="_blank">See Change Happen</a> and that it would be beneficial to get
her involved which he agreed. Although it felt like a positive meeting it did feel that the ideas for change were only coming from me.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">After a few months we didn’t seemed to have progressed any
further so I started hassling him again. Several emails later another meeting
was arranged with him and the head of HR in October 2018 (yes 6 months from the last meeting!!) where we went over exactly the same as
we had discussed before and the whole meeting felt pointless however this time there felt more of a promise to drive this
forward. Again we discussed more ideas I had raised regarding induction and initial training and ongoing refresher sessions plus ideas for 'link' nurses. It was also mentioned that they were in the process of creating a staff Transgender Policy and was being done by a member of the HR team who has a trangender friend, which although in itself is great news, does not assist patients where this whole issue has arisen from. I raised this as an issue and assurances were given that they would give me sight of this document (I'm concerned that it is being written by someone with no proper knowledge or training) but also there would be patient policy following 'soon'. I did reiterate that I had gone down this route rather than make a
complaint where I would have received a letter of apology (lip service) but
nothing would change which wasn’t acceptable.</span><br />
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">After some email exchanges some ‘bite size taster’ sessions
were eventually arranged at each of the Trusts hospitals after a few cancellation of some booked sessions. These were to run for about an
hour and a half and would be open to all staff and were to be hosted and run by
Jo Lockwood which she had generously agreed to present for free. The premise is that these would be partial introduction sessions
with a view to running full sessions at a later date. The only problem was that
the timing of the start of these sessions was 9.30am so most people who work in the areas most affected would have had
just come off a night shift at 8am and wouldn’t hang around. At least they were happening at last which was
good.</span><br />
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Both sessions ran mid December and were held at each of the Trusts 2 hospitals. The first session had a low
attendance of about 10 people mainly from HR however the 2<sup>nd</sup> session
ran with about 20+ people from varying departments including my friend Carole
who had hung round after a night shift just to come.</span><br />
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<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgr1DczSvYiBbWTc1T3stnSNpfZ3AA-Q9AgAmUwjQsan-fBLRsmRoIylInUg_J68DlIBfpYV62RDbNbEfODriGPJR4dAf6TKTz13_66_q6tIBgcMS_ATwyq9GhZ61GrcEyv4D4h2jNM3wIQ/s1600/20181218_093642.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="778" data-original-width="1600" height="193" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgr1DczSvYiBbWTc1T3stnSNpfZ3AA-Q9AgAmUwjQsan-fBLRsmRoIylInUg_J68DlIBfpYV62RDbNbEfODriGPJR4dAf6TKTz13_66_q6tIBgcMS_ATwyq9GhZ61GrcEyv4D4h2jNM3wIQ/s400/20181218_093642.jpg" width="400" /></a><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Jo’s presentation was great and really highlighted the lack
of knowledge held by the staff, including the ED&I Manager! The format that Jo
used included a multiple choice quiz which was interactive by using your
smartphone via the app, Kahoot! Even though I live and breathe the trans life,
there were some choices in there that I was not 100% sure of and it highlighted
how much terminology has changed over the 18 years we have been part of the
community. It also highlighted the severe lack of knowledge held by the Trusts
employees, no matter which department they worked in. It was interesting to hear
the discussion around the topics that Jo raised as the sessions progressed. She
covered many different aspects including definitions, terminology, privilege,
legal aspects, a <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SU9XqjTbWAc" target="_blank">short film</a>
with Jake Graff about the struggles of being
transgender (which makes me cry every time I see it including during these
sessions
where I struggled to hold the tears back as even though I am not trans, I
live
these struggles through Lucy and our friends) and lots of other
subjects. It was a whistle stop tour of what a full presentation would
look like. Once Jo had finished, which had over run as everyone was so
engaged, I gave a small talk about what had happened to Lucy and the
impact it had had on us. Everyone at each session were openly horrified
and vowed that changes must be made.</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizNa50OlFNC1m-SVvJGU6Ju9SsrViGOsu_xFVQIjBYv9-NXRj6s_ZOIEqxG0T5VgLLMHROaWcgOAnGvTrE5ZvqMUSpsLlq2Ujcpnjk9DOXXDzthBQIyDuTjpAumJdtP7fJm-6QCR97IMSM/s1600/20181218_101020.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="778" data-original-width="1600" height="153" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizNa50OlFNC1m-SVvJGU6Ju9SsrViGOsu_xFVQIjBYv9-NXRj6s_ZOIEqxG0T5VgLLMHROaWcgOAnGvTrE5ZvqMUSpsLlq2Ujcpnjk9DOXXDzthBQIyDuTjpAumJdtP7fJm-6QCR97IMSM/s320/20181218_101020.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">At one session there was a midwife who said that they had had a
pregnant transman come through the system and whilst they found a way to
facilitate his needs, the maternity system let them down as they couldn’t
select ‘male’ as gender or ‘Mr’ as a title and there was no work around. As a
result the trans guy had ‘female’ all over his record and was referred to as
‘Ms’. She said that they had explained the situation and apologised but how
awful must that have been for him and you can just imagine the errors with
pronouns this would have caused in a delicate situation. The midwife felt
mortified by this at the time and felt even worse now she had gone through the taster
training which had highlighted lots of issues.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXWGBY16UIwBOKY-KdGv-8sVF8OX7zGw1lUXmY_YGW5FrGG0eiIlYEU2XA6Ewf6bNPAd-eJbEqYfeeBAogjx_1o21QqCzqFKBYRUlfbJqis14ivLoo1bme4EV8CD4zBZoQ-w-lj3YK6xcx/s1600/20181218_095134.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="778" data-original-width="1600" height="152" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXWGBY16UIwBOKY-KdGv-8sVF8OX7zGw1lUXmY_YGW5FrGG0eiIlYEU2XA6Ewf6bNPAd-eJbEqYfeeBAogjx_1o21QqCzqFKBYRUlfbJqis14ivLoo1bme4EV8CD4zBZoQ-w-lj3YK6xcx/s320/20181218_095134.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">At the second session, I was approached by a very excited
man. He introduced himself as the PALS person that I had first spoken to when I
rang in. He said he has only been in the job 3 weeks when my call came through
and he remembers me pushing to get things sorted. He felt very proud to have
been part of the process that had led to these taster sessions and was very
enthusiastic about the Trust making changes. The Director of Communications and Patient Experience
was very enthused with everything and thought that it needed to be presented to
the board. She asked if Lucy and I would be prepared to be filmed for part of a
training package which they could put together for staff. She believes that
real life experiences stick in peoples minds better when they can relate it to
real people. Of course we would be willing to do this.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Everyone who attended the sessions were very positive about
how they went but also felt disappointed with their lack of knowledge. Lots came after to talk to me and they reiterated how horrified they were at
what had happened to Lucy. Various suggestions were bandied around and Carole came up
with lots of great ideas. It felt like there was traction at last.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I didn't contact them any further as Christmas came and went and by mid January I had not heard anything so dropped the ED&I Manager and Head of HR an email asking what the next plan of action was to be using the momentum following on from the success of the taster sessions. Nothing..... not even an acknowledgement or out of office response. I left it a week and then sent a chasing email, very strongly worded... it was over a year from when Lucy was admitted and still there were no changes for patients (or staff) and I was starting to feel incensed! The whole point of not making a complaint was to push for change and here we are a year later and nothing at all had changed AT ALL. 11 days later there was still no response or even an acknowledgement. My blood was boiling but felt I was at a stalemate with no where else to turn. Or so I thought.......</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I am quite active on Twitter. I use it to support the community and keep up to date with what is happening. I follow quite a lot of different people and organisations all of whom are supporting and championing the community. One was an account called NHS Improvement which had tweeted about 'professionally diverse teams being better equipped to meet the complex challenges facing the NHS' to which I responded copying in E&StH Trust. </span><br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7Ix26DSAqOxXfj4Li_F9vWtWNSEtt-7fuEaGlgdAz2w9J4ClMWVjUi7FVjEeNuxu7HPLrp1C2be9E8wq-SU9LZEZoMoqKAkP6qShoENZwH4XQ_HhWXfxQGc_U1bqULwl2qJSADLXkmJRy/s1600/Screenshot+%2528129%2529.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="971" data-original-width="1277" height="303" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7Ix26DSAqOxXfj4Li_F9vWtWNSEtt-7fuEaGlgdAz2w9J4ClMWVjUi7FVjEeNuxu7HPLrp1C2be9E8wq-SU9LZEZoMoqKAkP6qShoENZwH4XQ_HhWXfxQGc_U1bqULwl2qJSADLXkmJRy/s400/Screenshot+%2528129%2529.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">This got picked up by another account for transgender staff in the NHS, Trans NHS Staff Network @TransNHS. They retweeted my tweet and included the E&StHTrust Chief Executive. Then everything happened so fast......</span><br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2sHdSINwLJrk1KEp6ltkpg0sT4g-9ujBOHqNe4Ij19tF1QYAqrVKRonNF7W-RwwFfoyrqrsVC08i78d-i-EA-F5FTjn5QoOgEeJZKJqOJo1cRNcGWQkWUlVYaH8oqaZHDqtRiGs3XFzDK/s1600/Screenshot+%2528130%2529.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="864" data-original-width="1270" height="271" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2sHdSINwLJrk1KEp6ltkpg0sT4g-9ujBOHqNe4Ij19tF1QYAqrVKRonNF7W-RwwFfoyrqrsVC08i78d-i-EA-F5FTjn5QoOgEeJZKJqOJo1cRNcGWQkWUlVYaH8oqaZHDqtRiGs3XFzDK/s400/Screenshot+%2528130%2529.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Whoever mans the Twitter feed for E&StH tweeted back stating that they were inclusive for patients and quoted that they had carried out 2 training sessions in December......... well this was a red rag to a bull! Now trying to make out the 2 'taster' training sessions <u><b>I</b></u> had facilitated were enough to tick the box and then take the credit for! I tweeted back and was quite blunt and told them 'how dare' they take credit for these sessions and explained how they had come about. They then private messaged me and said they would contact the relevant people on the Monday (this was Saturday).</span><br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhz0crFdyjR0YU-FRFeroSb4fs3UbxJXnvcRh4NR2KsMhYJG8hMAP7a5Q72KGfr0I_Aq40aj_3jeTkx_qB1cWui0ihKM2UHwF09Ps86JVQ0CeyyjyX_3HW5UvwbYjg0M01KVHbEEpqukrPu/s1600/Screenshot+%2528131%2529.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="936" data-original-width="1268" height="295" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhz0crFdyjR0YU-FRFeroSb4fs3UbxJXnvcRh4NR2KsMhYJG8hMAP7a5Q72KGfr0I_Aq40aj_3jeTkx_qB1cWui0ihKM2UHwF09Ps86JVQ0CeyyjyX_3HW5UvwbYjg0M01KVHbEEpqukrPu/s400/Screenshot+%2528131%2529.png" width="400" /></a><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">In
the meantime the Chief Executive (CE) tweeted me and asked me to
private message the details of our situation which I did straight away. I
was like a mad woman on a mission...... let me rephrase that; I was a
mad woman on a mission.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"></span></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Lucy was in the room with me when this all kicked off and she was laughing as I was getting animated about the responses and my fingers were on fire typing away responses on my phone. She sat there laughing saying 'if you need a cause fighting, give it to Avril'!</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2DWv4d2ULpwJVRZYxD8xqHBCDO8obLbzsPRliXFTSeBd2ValX7iYpSIWUwDRH325naAILYg_T1ceIohXTt3tkSGIICL_PP78zVSWlUuqNneeqzQnbmZU1YgQVvfdpN12sWxMNCqWwV23R/s1600/Screenshot_20190214-161619_Twitter.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1033" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2DWv4d2ULpwJVRZYxD8xqHBCDO8obLbzsPRliXFTSeBd2ValX7iYpSIWUwDRH325naAILYg_T1ceIohXTt3tkSGIICL_PP78zVSWlUuqNneeqzQnbmZU1YgQVvfdpN12sWxMNCqWwV23R/s400/Screenshot_20190214-161619_Twitter.jpg" width="257" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">It was a manic hour of responses and more tweets. My tweets had been shared and liked numerous times. The CE came back to me and said that the length of time that has passed with little action by the trust was unacceptable and that this would get recified first thing Monday morning. He knew of the December taster sessions and said that he had received great feedback about them specifically from<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> The Director of Communications and Patient Experience who he was passing everything over to manage. It was now being taken out of the hands of HR although they would still be involved </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">True to his word she contacted me Monday morning. Funnily enough I also received an email from the ED&I Manager at 7.30am saying all the points I had raised were valid and an apology for not responding sooner. Funny that!</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The upshot is that in the next few days I am going in for a meeting with </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The Director of Communications and Patient Experience to discuss the issues and following that there will be a meeting with Jo from See Change Happen which will be a planning meeting for both documentation and training. </span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">What I really want is for E&StH to become a centre of excellence for all things NHS trans; to be the trail blazer for getting it right and for best pratice being filtered to other NHS trusts. Why can't it be them? There are only a few NHS trusts who have trangender policies in place and there is no uniformity in the policies and therefore inconsistencies with how trans/NB patients are treated all over the country. Excellence has to come from somewhere and why not with my local NHS trust?! However to do this there needs to be enagagement and commitment from them in the first place.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Watch this space!</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
Avril Clarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16563764797328640219noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485234340783571335.post-79167797405445373012019-02-12T14:50:00.003+00:002019-02-13T19:14:15.790+00:00It's Just A Ball Game? & The FA Chairmans reception<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Life just seems to whizz by so quickly. I need to be more attentive and keep my blog updated more regularly. It is not as if I don't have lots of blog posts swirling around my head all the time!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Lucy had her second final sign off for surgery at the GIC in January so we are now just playing the waiting game for the hospital to contact us and get that ball rolling. She had been unwell since before Christmas up until the middle of January where it turns out a problem with her thyroid was causing all sorts of issues (and possibly the heart attacks last Christmas). These seem to be sorted now after a change of medication with a couple of follow up appointments over the coming months.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">So back to the subject of this blog. To coincide with the start of February being LBGT+ history month Lucy was interviewed and filmed by <a href="https://www.skysports.com/football/news/11095/11628161/lgbt-in-football-whats-it-like-to-work-in-the-game-when-youre-out" target="_blank">Sky Sports</a> for a feature about what it is like to work in the game when you are out and also interviewed by <a href="http://www.thefa.com/news/2019/feb/04/lucy-clark-football-has-been-my-saviour-040219" target="_blank">The FA</a> talking about how her first term as English footballs first transgender ref had gone. Both articles were released online and she received lots of positive feedback.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I mentioned in a previous blog post that Lucy had been asked to present at an event for <a href="http://www.justaballgame.co.uk/" target="_blank">Just A Ball Game?</a> (JABG?) which was being hosted by The FA at Wembley Stadium, what a venue!! We knew a little about the organisation but we now know they do an awful amount of work toward their goals and need to be commended and supported and all this was started 8 years ago by Lindsay England, what a woman! They have some well known patrons, a couple of which are <a href="http://www.sophiecook.me.uk/" target="_blank">Sophie Cook</a> (the 1st transgender football photographer) and <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adam_McCabe" target="_blank">Adam McCabe</a> (an American gay footballer) and lots of support from the LGBT+, football and non football communities. They are promoting the hashtag #strongertogether on social media.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXqZmxQXROeJPT3vBBVFtuToNkjfebxbV9bwYWyMORGQIVxGD8YVJKawrQVQby29dS9zt8LpG1hDIOqgw012i8GBQ23eauGGywpwntVXK3ooSZndF6HMVaya7KpOaBye07pX2_dJ11RZU9/s1600/20190212_115646.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1222" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXqZmxQXROeJPT3vBBVFtuToNkjfebxbV9bwYWyMORGQIVxGD8YVJKawrQVQby29dS9zt8LpG1hDIOqgw012i8GBQ23eauGGywpwntVXK3ooSZndF6HMVaya7KpOaBye07pX2_dJ11RZU9/s640/20190212_115646.jpg" width="488" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHEAUHdO5gN95ZYIuyt0YskX9xhA8NAkaF3WRBAAAfXjg_aEzcz-kpZXlxO4HT9iCOsuu8MWoSb0PL51aTsAD39TgyUTXtSz2BabFZlV7fxWTaJVxi_G-n42_ndhTrHqI2qxtVVEWPyL3H/s1600/20190205_100247.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="778" data-original-width="1600" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHEAUHdO5gN95ZYIuyt0YskX9xhA8NAkaF3WRBAAAfXjg_aEzcz-kpZXlxO4HT9iCOsuu8MWoSb0PL51aTsAD39TgyUTXtSz2BabFZlV7fxWTaJVxi_G-n42_ndhTrHqI2qxtVVEWPyL3H/s640/20190205_100247.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">View from where we were with JABG? on the screen</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijahiI9dT_oDN6fj-rLfNymGawp1FKpuiopqt6RW085omdJmGe4BQS6yMOkKxuMvp4PE4ZyxLuMTz3CEletUINQYypn5QO7YAWZMRhWePvL0moPv4QArh8BaL0vFEvgY9MJ4u_su6qlgl1/s1600/20190205_100014.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijahiI9dT_oDN6fj-rLfNymGawp1FKpuiopqt6RW085omdJmGe4BQS6yMOkKxuMvp4PE4ZyxLuMTz3CEletUINQYypn5QO7YAWZMRhWePvL0moPv4QArh8BaL0vFEvgY9MJ4u_su6qlgl1/s320/20190205_100014.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Up on the terraces</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Lucy had been asked to run a workshop in the afternoon which meant that we were able to attend various other bits of the event. There were speakers from all different organisations plus discussion panels and it was very interesting to hear from Merseyside Police about all their initiatives they run for their employees but also for the people in the areas they police. They are definitely making strides to connect with people within the LGBT+ communities and seem to be a leader and trail blazer for all police forces in the country. We heard from Detective Sgt Christian Owens who talked about his personal journey which was very poignant. Neville Southall was part of a panel discussion and has very strong pro-trans opinions and it was great to hear from someone so vocal and high profile supporting the community bearing in mind the backlash that is happening at the moment in the media.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzruNXZ15sKhJgpHPp4IVh1bHK6VijeFNEBSAs7iPF08cNERYZmHKnDoLqnCRf2meEFHNmzh5BddmLt4zyvSd0TmqofpmMUZ9OsM481Z2fjfAFG5l98f8RkLvh66RaSeskzbqYHUXZzGZ2/s1600/20190205_163447.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="778" data-original-width="1600" height="193" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzruNXZ15sKhJgpHPp4IVh1bHK6VijeFNEBSAs7iPF08cNERYZmHKnDoLqnCRf2meEFHNmzh5BddmLt4zyvSd0TmqofpmMUZ9OsM481Z2fjfAFG5l98f8RkLvh66RaSeskzbqYHUXZzGZ2/s400/20190205_163447.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Neville Southall and Adam McCabe as part of one of the open discussion panels</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">There were various workshops running at different times. Each one was for a maximum 45 minutes. Lucy had worked on her presentation which covered her life story and her life in football up to the current time. In it she spoke about her childhood, how football saved her, suicidal thoughts and attempts (which upset her as it was the first time she was admitting to these in front of a large audience and many cried with her), how football hindered her transition due to the worry of being out in the football world, meeting me (I felt honoured to be included), the change from 'South London geezer' to who she is today, The Mirror story and then chatted about refereeing. Even though I know her story inside out, I still love hearing her talk about it even though it always makes me very sad hearing what she has gone through. She added childhood and teens pictures and had a great pic of her refereeing now. Everyone was really engaged and there was a very long Q&A session after, so much so her session went way over the allotted time. There were so many supportive and positive comments. I really hope she gets to do something similar again.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdnsdZf0xwjG9OWhyphenhyphenxRUUOazHtxXRNA8B_0ON3W1K4LHaPmem_2mUIq_5AZeTA947fMfHlx2i7Eq8OIZ4m8pCwURsrrP7nYWhyphenhyphen23sBjh50vV1D4FuNeOsc_QrfVJdtqsFsTTZxtzUJtuG3/s1600/IMG_20190205_155403+%2528002%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="604" data-original-width="1024" height="376" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdnsdZf0xwjG9OWhyphenhyphenxRUUOazHtxXRNA8B_0ON3W1K4LHaPmem_2mUIq_5AZeTA947fMfHlx2i7Eq8OIZ4m8pCwURsrrP7nYWhyphenhyphen23sBjh50vV1D4FuNeOsc_QrfVJdtqsFsTTZxtzUJtuG3/s640/IMG_20190205_155403+%2528002%2529.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Lucy presenting during her workshop</span></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZiX88bTz1BDovDM-O49lhQ0z5Hl3HWeWM3O_p-ORCwO2yUa5ILfhUiKeHK7raTG1THxFBoypAcmjFjXYnCfiPiB36qQDSqyjS0AsSVFEm0Nn_Xt2vZ6Tat2SM6o4CDJltKDj2AlK-MjDt/s1600/PhotoGrid_1549977104245.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1600" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZiX88bTz1BDovDM-O49lhQ0z5Hl3HWeWM3O_p-ORCwO2yUa5ILfhUiKeHK7raTG1THxFBoypAcmjFjXYnCfiPiB36qQDSqyjS0AsSVFEm0Nn_Xt2vZ6Tat2SM6o4CDJltKDj2AlK-MjDt/s400/PhotoGrid_1549977104245.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Lucy as a child in football (can you spot her?) and refereeing now</td></tr>
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</span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">One of the other workshops which we got to attend was being run by the <a href="http://www.thepfa.com/equalities/staff" target="_blank">Equalities team</a> from the PFA (Professional Football Association) and covered the Equalities training that they give to all professional players. The speakers were Jason Lee (ex-footballer) and Simone Pound and they ran through what they cover. It was a really interesting workshop and they covered 'industrial language' (banter comes under this) and what is acceptable and what isn't. Although it is obvious, there are circumstances where derogotory words are not dealt with as football is full of banter and these generally have been considered 'banter' (industrial language)..... there definitely needs to be more control over what is accepted by the clubs, teams, managers and officials. Lots of onus seems to being put on the referees however change needs to come from the top down and if it is dealt with properly by senior officials in all roles at high level games it will feed down to grass roots. What was amazing is that they cover this information off in a 40 minute session which seems very short considering any type of equalities/inclusivity training in the corporate sector is a half day minimum. There was a bit of a discussion by other delegates that maybe this was not long enough.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The whole day proved to be a very informative and was great for networking and building alliances. We met lots of very interesting people including Greg Clarke, The FA Chairman, and quite surprisingly my blog was mentioned a few times by several different people (hello if you are one of those). This was the first time that JABG? had done an event like this and we both thought it was very beneficial and worthwhile and hope to be involved in any further events like this in the future. While we were there a photographer from a French magazine which is doing a piece on Lucy came down to take some pictures of her and Adam McCabe recorded a podcast interview with us which will be available shortly. We also met up with Jon Holmes the Sky Sports journalist that had done the recent piece on Lucy.</span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg552EbzlqNzCLyCf0H0-PP5YI1NpGER9ffMxxOubhvvrU4Rg_PgHy00TIp_q-U0FjgWPK5mJbFErfsXMB_eqB-oDbDxj6i_ZzqySbyHwWtJohnxHaXIkfvKbFEy2pX5zoOXWeqzHoZAcdp/s1600/FB_IMG_1549496282438+%2528002%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="1137" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg552EbzlqNzCLyCf0H0-PP5YI1NpGER9ffMxxOubhvvrU4Rg_PgHy00TIp_q-U0FjgWPK5mJbFErfsXMB_eqB-oDbDxj6i_ZzqySbyHwWtJohnxHaXIkfvKbFEy2pX5zoOXWeqzHoZAcdp/s400/FB_IMG_1549496282438+%2528002%2529.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Us with Jon</span></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">After the JABG? event finished we hung around for a little bit as we had been invited to The FA Chairmans reception to commemorate the start of LBGT+ history month which was in the same place. Many of the people who had been at the JABG? event were there and plenty of others turned up and it was packed. Again we met some really interesting people, all with a connection to football. Greg Clarke addressed everyone and there were guest speakers which included discussions around what is needed within football to make it more accepting. Again it was really interesting to be part of this event and we felt very honoured to have been invited.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">As we had been there from early morning until late in the evening it was interesting to watch the maintenance of such a high profile and famous pitch. They had been working on it on and off throughout the day and had grow lights all over it. As it got darker, the lights were more obvious and it just looked amazing.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQRShmNFzN3izUsSplFAjQudcdOqFENFUv13ef6Ge26dTaTz6vyjU1Ro2MWSmwgoLQEwriThvq690GK97Url-eHFbcmYmu0UGSuupczVFh17O6TYGMsDRbfCaS27xmZPcfhhWl8nsyceWd/s1600/20190205_165104.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="778" data-original-width="1600" height="192" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQRShmNFzN3izUsSplFAjQudcdOqFENFUv13ef6Ge26dTaTz6vyjU1Ro2MWSmwgoLQEwriThvq690GK97Url-eHFbcmYmu0UGSuupczVFh17O6TYGMsDRbfCaS27xmZPcfhhWl8nsyceWd/s400/20190205_165104.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">As we were leaving the famous arch was all lit up with LGBT+ colours which was a sight to see. What a day!</span><br />
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Avril Clarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16563764797328640219noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485234340783571335.post-14173835121127741632019-01-22T11:54:00.002+00:002019-01-22T11:54:30.941+00:00Trans Radio Christmas Ball 2018<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="List Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The 15<sup>th</sup>
December 2018 was quite a momentous day. This was the date of the first Trans Radio
Christmas ball.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">It had taken
a lot of effort to get to this date including a change of venue and as we had committed to a minimum number
of attendees, despite over a 100 people saying they would come to this if we
organised it, in reality people dropped out or changed their mind. We still
managed to have a guest list of 80+ which was great as it meant we would break
even but the hassle of collecting deposits and the remainder payments from
everyone was a bit of a pain.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">It was at the
Hilton Hotel, in Milton Keynes. We had never stayed at this hotel before or even visited so we
didn’t really know what the venue and rooms looked like except the pictures on
their website which looked good. The price included a glass of prosecco on
arrival, 3 course sit down meal, DJ, room decorations and exclusive hire of the room we
were in which meant we didn’t have to share the party with everyone which we felt was really important. We even
had a volunteer to be our official photographer, Nia Clarke, and a big thanks
to her for the fabulous <a href="https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.380780335997595&type=1&l=0514fd5798" target="_blank">pictures</a> she took. Also a big thanks to Ginelle Williams who printed all the tickets for us.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The room was
decorated really lovely and the staff were friendly. All the guests were all dressed up
and ran with the theme of the event being a ball. It was great to see so many
people, many we knew personally, but some we knew but had never met and some
were new people to us however everyone just spent time with each other either
sitting and chatting or up on the dance floor.</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDYN3FrhHBVKmuiHZbtVd3HaID2oqV50j726yZXQiFm5KhsgAy1FtMDWIeoj7IvA1t62QoneHgmMkzB3cmnPG11AYxz3q-RWVT_pjiHdnw0LT9unZ5Sjp_F6f7k8Zzsr6KYYsb2uww6J8R/s1600/48367193_380780535997575_6159099285624324096_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="1316" height="192" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDYN3FrhHBVKmuiHZbtVd3HaID2oqV50j726yZXQiFm5KhsgAy1FtMDWIeoj7IvA1t62QoneHgmMkzB3cmnPG11AYxz3q-RWVT_pjiHdnw0LT9unZ5Sjp_F6f7k8Zzsr6KYYsb2uww6J8R/s400/48367193_380780535997575_6159099285624324096_o.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The DJ had
been nervous when it found out it was a Trans Radio event but he played to the
crowd perfectly with a great mix of tunes which kept lots of people up on the
dance floor. There was another mixed party of 300 people in the large event
room down the corridor and we had people from there cheekily coming in to our
party saying it was much better than the event they were at. Well of course it
was!</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh05lK-QnfjNUZj-mavnyhrnMdxQCpOHtv3l_eqY2NKWpUdEwQHEqRhC3qqrPNEyHTi6OIhZfH4O386XbL9WrQB6O9DIwg4WyPT0RGh975XP8fw-H78Tga9KbmrVPkEY6nK51fPTy3PKhlS/s1600/48365649_380889355986693_9164567968862961664_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1060" data-original-width="1600" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh05lK-QnfjNUZj-mavnyhrnMdxQCpOHtv3l_eqY2NKWpUdEwQHEqRhC3qqrPNEyHTi6OIhZfH4O386XbL9WrQB6O9DIwg4WyPT0RGh975XP8fw-H78Tga9KbmrVPkEY6nK51fPTy3PKhlS/s400/48365649_380889355986693_9164567968862961664_o.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The party
finished at 1am however we had made arrangements with Pink Punters for free
entry for any attendees who wanted to continue to party and quite a few people
went down there after. The new Champagne and Cocktail bar and new Pink room had
only opened the night before and it was a lovely place to spend the rest of the
time.</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6VmwBXnfAjS61iHyxfWnDkeOcXvqLD4fYwP3HDvC8hgJrE4zj8BMAZvpkjrip85P-_5UiQ33MIGZN9Wogzsa7K6AjJfi65ZSV45I2W9_NYY8W1tW4XFa2EbBbQiY6ZJl8_ibowXU4ba0l/s1600/48368684_607983482951231_138323119734521856_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="1316" height="192" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6VmwBXnfAjS61iHyxfWnDkeOcXvqLD4fYwP3HDvC8hgJrE4zj8BMAZvpkjrip85P-_5UiQ33MIGZN9Wogzsa7K6AjJfi65ZSV45I2W9_NYY8W1tW4XFa2EbBbQiY6ZJl8_ibowXU4ba0l/s400/48368684_607983482951231_138323119734521856_o.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimwCg0nVSiB1VTlOQ7wgZBrn4KLfi61C7yquOy34IMQcLoBqO0PmI-OjicHMZt_f5A-o29PJ4Y5XSoL7ALKt0CSq3mmCRwU_G3mU5FXspBvUZLET0MOgB2WVVgBsxbtrh5aK-4tEnOQtIx/s1600/48194700_608006552948924_3750893238513303552_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="1316" height="192" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimwCg0nVSiB1VTlOQ7wgZBrn4KLfi61C7yquOy34IMQcLoBqO0PmI-OjicHMZt_f5A-o29PJ4Y5XSoL7ALKt0CSq3mmCRwU_G3mU5FXspBvUZLET0MOgB2WVVgBsxbtrh5aK-4tEnOQtIx/s400/48194700_608006552948924_3750893238513303552_o.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsv-N_4i1weORboIXE5dDdi-PLS6jp7UFpAokKnIJ6uzXpKYDLq4TN8E3PGxLJevJ8Rd44cGz3KyBMDg-bWVEhCSSFsewNhh9E5UTPMo5l_fSNmjX461TZVtQQOdPnDnPz9-LDt96YHoly/s1600/48391445_607983086284604_1312604218258882560_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="1316" height="193" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsv-N_4i1weORboIXE5dDdi-PLS6jp7UFpAokKnIJ6uzXpKYDLq4TN8E3PGxLJevJ8Rd44cGz3KyBMDg-bWVEhCSSFsewNhh9E5UTPMo5l_fSNmjX461TZVtQQOdPnDnPz9-LDt96YHoly/s400/48391445_607983086284604_1312604218258882560_o.jpg" width="400" /></a></span></div>
</div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The feedback
we got from everyone was really positive and made all the stress of arranging
it worthwhile. We have been asked several times if there will be a Christmas
Ball 2019…….. at this stage I’m not sure but watch this space!</span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWJrJMaTgzUAIaxj9LPR0laQ0DygtKdZ-SjQl0dc7yEEBd0pszI72lWZXIdRAIdck6sgzh_YRgMQNNLT-XQHFjPA6iO71e6Hf1QYvOIlS8Vh88cKydVXs-qF5mihH4GQOeE4WwUCsMxgJM/s1600/48367586_380888182653477_1427501559863836672_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1060" data-original-width="1600" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWJrJMaTgzUAIaxj9LPR0laQ0DygtKdZ-SjQl0dc7yEEBd0pszI72lWZXIdRAIdck6sgzh_YRgMQNNLT-XQHFjPA6iO71e6Hf1QYvOIlS8Vh88cKydVXs-qF5mihH4GQOeE4WwUCsMxgJM/s400/48367586_380888182653477_1427501559863836672_o.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
</div>
Avril Clarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16563764797328640219noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485234340783571335.post-12700123522704668682019-01-10T14:01:00.004+00:002019-01-10T14:02:13.944+00:00Goodbye 2019, Welcome 2019<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Blimey
is it really that long ago that I updated my blog?!! It is funny how life just
takes over and you don’t realise how much time has passed. Well now I’m going
to probably inundate you with updates as I have a few things to write about!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Dust
has now settled on the ‘worlds first open transgender referee’. Lucy still gets
requests to be involved in events and has done some of these over the past few
months. One of the notable things was for Lloyds Banking Group who did an LGBT
webinar across the whole of the group for their staff and had various
representatives from the community. Lucy had a 20 minute slot to talk about her
life and experiences and it was really well received and she received some
great feedback from attendees and gained some additional Twitter followers. She
has been contacted by Sky News and Sky Sports with various projects they want her
involvement in during 2019 too. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">In
February she is a speaker at Just a <a href="http://www.justaballgame.co.uk/" target="_blank">Ball Game</a>’s seminar #<a href="http://www.evensi.uk/strongertogether-preston-london-borough-of-brent-london/281090264" target="_blank">strongertogether</a> which
is hosted by The FA at Wembley Stadium. The event is supported by GMB Trade
Union, The Professional Footballers’ Association, UCFB, KIO and others, and
will see a day of interactive workshops, networking, guest panel speakers from
football clubs, fan groups, players, referees, coaches, education
establishments, the police, media, and other sports organisations coming
together to showcase the great partnership work done in collaboration with JBG.
I have a ticket so will be going along to support her as well as all the other
speakers and it looks like a great day out.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">In
other news we have been to Pinks a few times including NYE, hosted the 1st ever Trans Radio
Christmas Ball, I have been involved with the first bite size Trans Awareness
training sessions with our local NHS authority and Lucy had her final GIC
appointment (blog posts for all to follow).</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">We
had been looking forward to Christmas so much however Lucy had issues with her
taxi which meant she was unable to work and then health issues plagued her
which meant we were back in A&E on Boxing Day evening. This time we went to
a different hospital under the same local NHS Trust but as luck would have it,
my friend Carole who is a sister there was on duty (see more in blog post about
the NHS Trust to follow). No mis-gendering or confusion however this was more
to Carole’s presence than any change in policy. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">We had booked a family trip to Butlins between Christmas and New Year and were meeting one of my sons, his wife and son, another couple we know and our friends Jenny and Ethan and their 6 kids however Lucy felt too ill to go. It was very sad for me to be there with our daughters and not her but in reality she was too unwell to go and enjoy herself. I know she felt gutted as we had both looked forward to this break fro the past year. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Lucy
is getting better than she was but we are still waiting on some follow up
appointments with various departments to try to get her properly better once
and for all!</span></div>
Avril Clarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16563764797328640219noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485234340783571335.post-30370725681896919542018-09-26T14:39:00.004+01:002018-09-27T09:40:23.577+01:00Aftermath<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The week of the articles and subsequent other media articles being circulated and the following weeks have been interesting. The Mirror did a <a href="https://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/footballs-first-transgender-referee-reveals-13135274" target="_blank">follow up</a> on Lucy a week later which thankfully was small and much further in the paper and they used a picture she provided of her and Kellie.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Lucy did other radio and telephone interviews with various UK and foreign media associations and we turned down lots of others where they wanted to interview us or run our story or get us involved in other stuff however Lucy did an <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1D-hOIINho" target="_blank">interview</a> with ITV which was broadcast several times in one day and we got lots of positive comments from lots of people. She also wrote a small <a href="https://metro.co.uk/2018/08/30/after-my-first-football-match-as-a-transgender-referee-im-ready-for-my-next-1000-games-as-the-real-me-7883889/" target="_blank">piece</a> for the Metro newspaper about the first match she did as her. What was nice was this was all Lucy's words as was the <a href="http://www.transnews.uk/2018/09/04/468/" target="_blank">article</a> she wrote for a new website called <a href="http://www.transnews.uk/" target="_blank">TransNews</a> and she has been interviewed recently for Huffington Post. Only last week a Chinese newspaper contacted Lucy with a list of questions which she will answer and they are going to publish an article about her. Last week she also did some filming with Dapper Laughs aka Daniel O'Reilly for a football documentary/film which will be released early next year.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The FA, London FA and <a href="https://www.stonewall.org.uk/about-us/media-centre/media-statement/statement/stonewall-statement-lucy-clark" target="_blank">Stonewall</a> have all issued trans positive statements and all mention supporting Lucy on her journey. This is great news as these statements would never have been issued if Lucy hadn't put our personal life out for all to see.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">There have been lots of sports type associations that have approached her either to attend LGBT+ events they are running or to stand up and speak in front of people attending these events. These are the great things as they are sport specific and focus less on our relationship and family and more on being trans visible in sport.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Our friends and family have been truly amazing. Their support has surpassed anything we could have imagined and the football community who Lucy was really worried about have been so supportive and accepting. She has received lots of messages from other referees and match officials she knows as well as from players who played for her when she was managing teams.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">We still continue to receive friend requests and messages from all over the world and from people within the community. Lucy has received several messages from people who have been inspired by Lucy's story so much that they are now preparing to 'come out' to their male dominated work places, clubs and associations and to life in general. This is fantastic news. Every persons' journey is different but there are other people that have contacted us just for support now they know our story and we are both more than happy to help where we can. We are so lucky we have each other and through all this we have remained strong and an awesome team.... that's just who we are. We are still just Lucy and Avril.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>Avril Clarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16563764797328640219noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485234340783571335.post-9697450652906207432018-09-14T09:50:00.001+01:002018-09-14T09:50:41.507+01:00Mumsnet<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Mumsnet has quite a reputation for being a hive of vitriolic transphobic comments and statements. I tend not to go on there especially when I hear of trans related posts that have been put on there as the responses are pretty predictable. It is inhabited by some pretty hard line TERFS (Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminists - one of many terms they have chosen to be called) which are a bunch of women who do not accept trans women as women and believe they are and will always be men and that in many instances they believe trans women are men disguised as women to abuse women. They also believe all trans males are women who have been abused by men hence them 'believing' they are male. They are quite a vocal group of women.... not just on Mumsnet but all over the place however Mumsnet does seem to be a common place for them to congregate. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">There has been a lot of criticism in general about Mumsnet allowing members to openly post transphobic, hatred and derogatory remarks. As a result the admin team have had to make moves to restrict this from happening however it has not been enough and has not stopped it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">As mentioned before we have kept away from looking at social media comments about our situation as we know what the comments will be as we have seen this many times against many other trans related articles or situations. So far, we have not received any of this transphobic abuse personally through any of our social media platforms and there has been nothing from our friends and family which enables us just not to get bothered over it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">We have has a peek at a few and as expected it was the usual rubbish. We have had a couple of spats on Twitter with a couple of TERFS (hiding behind blank profiles or using an animal as their profile picture) but again the comments were against the articles and not to us directly. We both regularly have a look generally to see what is going on in the internet world as it is still good to be clued up and hence we stumbled across a <a href="https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3340580-Transgender-referee-moves-to-womens-football-after-becoming-a-woman?pg=1" target="_blank">Mumsnet thread</a> about Lucy. Knowing what we know about Mumsnet, we were both curious as to how bad the comments would be, so we couldn't resist and went and had a look.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The initial comments were not too bad and there were some supportive statements too. </span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">There also were some that were not so nice and some that were questioning if she was taking a role away from a woman ref, whether the FA had broken any regulations with Lucy's level of refereeing, Lucy's</span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> clothes</span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> and weight...... and one comment in particular made my eyes roll,. <i>"</i></span><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-style: italic;">I hope Avril stumbles across the trans widows thread if she needs it. </span><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><i>Women can be so bloody stoic". </i>That the bloody trans widow thing again...... I am NOT a trans widow and have no interest in associating with or having anything to do with them.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Kudos to Lucy as she created a profile and posted in response:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>Hi all...</i></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="color: blue; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>I come in peace </i></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="color: blue; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>Was directed to this thread by a friend so thought I would answer a few of the points raised. </i></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="color: blue; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>Following discussions it was agreed I would only referee Womens football for my first few games back and then return and referee Men's football again. Just thought it was wise to not to do the games with bigger crowds that the level of Men's football I officiate attracts until I have got a few games as "me" under my belt. I have been refereeing women's football for the last 3 years as it is so I have not just jumped across. I still referee in exactly the same leagues as I previously officiated in. I am returning to men's football next month and have already done some U18 fixtures. I refereed L4 fixtures in Mens football and the QPR fixture that was mentioned a L5 to L7 referee can be used. I have not replaced anyone I still referee at the levels I was before the name has changed that is all...I am not getting any special treatment from the FA or anyone else for that matter.</i></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="color: blue; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>The pictures mentioned are not me in underwear...this is a playsuit/dress and the photo was taken in a hotel before a night out. The other pictures that the papers took were off my social media and all before nights out. The one's the Mirror took I was wearing jeans and a top and tbh I spend lots of time in just leggings etc and only get the glad rags on when going out for an evening etc.</i></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="color: blue; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>I told my wife about me very early in the relationship so she had a get out clause...she stayed with me and we are very strong together. Kids are fine and have no issues other than the normal issues children have. </i></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="color: blue; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>Yes I have ate all the pies....I suffered a series of heart attacks at Christmas which resulted in 2 operations they also then found I had something not heart related wrong with me and the medication for that along with not being able to referee for quite a while and too many pies so me put weight on...I am to get this off and get back to my old weight asap! </i></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="color: blue; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>The pictures of me refereeing recently are not flattering I appreciate that...but would a girl referee with a full face of make up? Think you will find the answer to that it a no and I am no different.</i></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="color: blue; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>I take turns to use the changing facilities with other male officials now and should I be paired with a female official I would quite happily take turns in that situation as well.</i></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="color: blue; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>Hope this answers some of your points raised and thank you for the positive comments on this thread. </i></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="color: blue; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>As I said at the start I come in peace and just thought I would try and clear a few things up</i></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="color: blue; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>KR </i></span><br />
<i><span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: blue; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"></span></i><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>Lucy </i></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">She also responded directly to another comment:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>"Can anyone work out if the FA bent the rules at all? As I can see Lucy referred QPR v Parkwood Rangers, which is Level 3 (Regional Premier Division) women's game.Meanwhile Nick was a Level 5 (where Level 5 is lower ranking than Level 4) men's referee, but not sure how the crossover from men's to women's is supposed to go."</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>I have been refereeing this standard women's game for a few years now and my status as a referee allowed this so no rules have been broken. In fact I have refereed a higher standard Men's game on quite a few occasions previously because I did not want to progress due to changing room implications.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">To be fair, Lucy did get positive responses to her post which was great. There was one response that was aimed at me and rattled me a bit, I'm not sure why it did, however I'm not going to respond there:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>Well, Lucy's wife seems to have a distinctive role for herself as full-time Lucy's wife.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>twitter.com/LirvaC</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>itsallaboutmylucy.blogspot.com/</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>It's good that Lucy has a wife who is so dedicated to the role of being Lucy's wife.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Yes, I am Lucy's full-time wife..... isn't everyone in love and who respects their partner a full-time wife/husband/partner?? By the same token, Lucy is my full-time wife. What is the issue with being dedicated to being a wife? Yes, I am a full-time wife, a full-time parent, a full-time child to my parents a full-time grandparent, a full-time employee for my company, a full-time aunty, a full-time sister, a full-time trans ally.......... anyone who knows me will know whatever I am dedicated to I put everything I have into it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I'm not sure why my Twitter account is relevant to being a full-time wife and feel that my account and blog links were shared to create mischief against me? I don't solely tweet about Lucy..... they missed my Insta account, how remiss of them! As for my blog, well anyone who reads this knows that although the title is 'It's all about my Lucy' it is actually about so much more. This blog was started to document our journey together, to be a resource for anyone else or their partner considering or embarking on a similar course and also there for any of our family and friends who might want to know truly what our life has been like and what is still to come. It is the place that has been a great outlet for me and will continue. </span><br />
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Avril Clarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16563764797328640219noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485234340783571335.post-11627202270774781112018-09-10T12:03:00.000+01:002018-09-10T12:03:09.239+01:00BBC Radio Kent interview<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After all the excitement of the match on Sunday we were looking forward to spending some time with Kellie Maloney and having her interview us on her live BBC Radio Kent show on the Monday.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As always, life goes on so I was back to work first thing Monday, albeit working from home for the day, but for a while normality reigned even though we were both being inundated with messages and various press agencies around the world making contact.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">By this time, it had been established that Kellie had broken her ankle from the shenanigans at the football match so had her foot in plaster and was wearing a boot and on crutches! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We had organised to meet Kellie in the evening a couple of hours before the show in Tunbridge Wells where the BBC studio was as we planned to go out for dinner first. Kellie had chosen a lovely little Thai restaurant and as the weather was warm we sat out the front. The meal was lovely as was the company and sat there just enjoying the moment. At one point a black Range Rover pulled up on the kerb nearby and Kellie got her friend to go over and check it out as she was suspicious bearing in mind what had happened the day before but he came back saying that he couldn't see anything untoward. The driver had sat in there for a little while tapping on his phone but had then got out and left the car empty. We finished our meal and with Kellie hobbling on her crutches we walked to the studio.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkKdF1sP9O8s8Mp-O79pc4xtTrTHKgKXfySuILnBqQvouhvsJLH9q22ALqFWTUoBW41JkaZD52G9uan5bjuv82A4RfsbmWfxnRA-h14AZqrERGhgubo2NBFg3a9ipOx_kjob5tJlJQPqQz/s1600/20180820_200621.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkKdF1sP9O8s8Mp-O79pc4xtTrTHKgKXfySuILnBqQvouhvsJLH9q22ALqFWTUoBW41JkaZD52G9uan5bjuv82A4RfsbmWfxnRA-h14AZqrERGhgubo2NBFg3a9ipOx_kjob5tJlJQPqQz/s320/20180820_200621.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixUSSNqXFZaCr6sTwTSysqtBpTX5m2EyeyZ2Wc2YLkHxBiqbo0H4MI82O-2960tYd1awqJRBCDRFPGxHFNl27wmfkG1p15l_6l4MkZkVpRxj9nloWWdizWIu6hLUunPVW6ARW3ua04oMVy/s1600/20180820_201748.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1427" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixUSSNqXFZaCr6sTwTSysqtBpTX5m2EyeyZ2Wc2YLkHxBiqbo0H4MI82O-2960tYd1awqJRBCDRFPGxHFNl27wmfkG1p15l_6l4MkZkVpRxj9nloWWdizWIu6hLUunPVW6ARW3ua04oMVy/s320/20180820_201748.jpg" width="285" /></a><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Everyone there was really friendly. We sat in the studio with our headphones on ready to go. This was our first time doing anything like this as it was great it was Kellie asking the questions as it was just 3 friends having a chat. We were there for an hour or so and the time just flew by.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">They had been inviting callers to ring in and towards the end we saw a note handed to Kellie that they someone called Matt from Harlow on the phone. Lucy and I looked at each other and gave the biggest grins. We knew EXACTLY who this was! This was 'our' Matt, one of our best friends who we have known for many years and he and his wife and young sons (one of which is our 9 year old godson who has been sending Lucy the most amazing messages) have been incredibly supportive. Matt came on saying the most fantastically supportive things and how proud they were of us both for putting our life out there for all to see. Yes, we both had a tear in our eye!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After the show the production staff were very complimentary and a message was received from the head of BBC Radio Kent saying great the interview had been, so much so, they would be replaying it again at various points during the week. Lucy had pictures taken with some of the production staff there and we had had a really lovely time.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After we went for a quick drink with Kellie to celebrate before we went back home.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Little did we know how right Kellie had been about the black Range Rover that had parked up while we were having dinner...... later that week an <a href="https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/footballs-first-transgender-referee-scores-13129237" target="_blank">article</a> went online with pictures from when we had the meal and the subsequent walk to the studio. It was quite funny as they had cropped me out of the pictures trying to give it the slant that it was just the pair of them having a dinner together when in fact there had been 4 of us! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What was even funnier was a couple of days later..... Lucy had said that lots of the news agencies had created audio and visual articles which were on YouTube. I went along to have a look and came across this <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Djopn4EHolw" target="_blank">one</a>! I nearly spat my drink out laughing!!!! It was pictures of Lucy and Kellie fading in and out all set to romantic piano music. I couldn't stop laughing and went to show Lucy who also burst out laughing. We are now waiting for the next article to say they are in a relationship (which of course they are not!).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Avril Clarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16563764797328640219noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485234340783571335.post-32692076673469444762018-09-04T15:53:00.000+01:002018-09-04T15:53:50.107+01:00First football match Sunday 19th August 2018<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">After all the excitement of the Mirror article, Lucy had her first football match to referee the same day. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">We hadn't had much sleep and had drunk far too much the night before so we were both quite tired but excited and nervous of what the day would hold. We hadn't told anyone where the match was or which teams were playing as we wanted it to be as low key as possible.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">We arrived at the ground and Lucy went into the changing rooms and got changed. I went with her and could tell she was nervous, which I didn't blame her for, I would have been too. She went out and met with the team managers, updated them on the situation and that a Mirror photographer would be present, and got all the team sheets. We went back to the changing rooms to wait until just before the start of the game.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Lucy wasn't keen on a photographer being there as obviously she wasn't all dressed up, wearing make up etc and not portraying the image that she would normally do plus some of the referee kit is tight and not very forgiving. He agreed that we could look through the photos at the end and pick a selection to be put forward to the paper.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Ten minutes before kick off we went back out and Lucy went onto the pitch to start the game. She blew the whistle and she was off. The game was quite fast paced and was interesting to watch (considering I am not a mad football fan). I was stood with the supporters and they just gave the usual standard banter and actually I enjoyed being there with them as there were avid supporters for both teams. One supporter was an injured player for one of the teams and she remembered Lucy from last season when she was given 2 penalties against her so was biased against the ref (Lucy). There was an 'earring gate' moment when Lucy sent off a player for having earrings in and sent off another one on the other team for the same thing. This generated a lot of discussion from the supporters, hence it was referred to as 'earring gate'. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The reporter from the Mirror Janine, and her boyfriend were at the ground to support Lucy and halfway through Kellie Maloney turned up to support her too. I also noticed a black, tinted window people carrier arrive midway but when I turned around a woman walked out from behind it so I just presumed she had from from the car so thought nothing of it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">When the game finished the players all shook Lucy's hand, one manager had a whinge about a yellow card Lucy had issued, all pretty standard stuff. All the supporters were respectful to Lucy as were the players. Even the injured sidelined player conceded that it had been a fairly refereed game and she shook Lucy's hand too and wished her good luck!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">We spent the next 20 mins looking through the pictures the photographer had taken and picked out a selection that we were ok with to be put forward as they wanted to include them on a piece they were doing on Lucy and her first match as her.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">After we had to go to the car to pick up Lucy's towel so she could have a shower. While we were stood rummaging around a smart looking chap came up and called out 'Lucy'. She turned around and this chap walked right up to her and introduced himself as a reporter from the Sun newspaper and tried to shake her hand and started asking questions about the game. Lucy kept saying that she couldn't speak to him and if he had any questions he had to go through Kellie. He was very persistent so I went over to get Kellie and Janine. Once he saw Kellie coming he ran away and Kellie ran after him. Unfortunately she fell while running and later it transpired she had broken her ankle!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Lucy went to check on Kellie but was told that we needed to get away now! They were worried about paparazzi photographers try to take after match pictures. No time for a shower, but just to get away and we arranged a rendezvous point away from the area. We ran to the car and jumped in..... I drove away as fast as I could but didn't have a clue where we were going. It was a totally mad moment.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">An hour later we all met up in the garden of a lovely little pub and had a few drinks talking about the day. It was really chilled and enjoyable and was just a group of friends sitting and chatting together.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">A guy from a group of people at a table nearby recognised Kellie and came over for a chat. Just after his friend also came up to Lucy and said 'I know you, you are Lucy Clark'. He had recognised her from the Mirror article that day and also recognised her tattoos. Another friendly conversation ensued.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">We ended up staying far later than any of us expected but it was a lovely end to a very surreal 24 hours!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">At the the same time the Mirror published about Lucy's first match, they also published an <a href="https://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/wife-footballs-first-ever-transgender-13107166" target="_blank">article</a> about me standing by Lucy. They made it sound like a big deal but it really has not been for me. I just love her so much and we are working together all time and although it is Lucy's journey, we share every step (as you will know if you have been reading my other posts).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">What later transpired was that the blackout people carrier I had seen had contained a photographer on behalf of <a href="https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/7052630/transgender-ref-debut-qpr-london/" target="_blank">the Sun</a> and the <a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6075393/Footballs-transgender-referee-charge-game-today.html" target="_blank">Daily Mail</a> so as well as the Mirror article about Lucy's first game, they had their own along with the secretive pictures that were taken. Not the most flattering of pictures of the match it has to be said...... however again they used the pictures they swiped from Lucy's twitter so that made up for it.... well sort of!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>Avril Clarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16563764797328640219noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485234340783571335.post-75538678340503361322018-08-28T15:35:00.001+01:002018-08-28T15:35:54.374+01:00The Mirror article<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Immediately following the moment of the preview of the front page of the paper we had a look <a href="https://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/footballs-first-ever-transgender-referee-13100554" target="_blank">online</a> and found the whole article to be there along with the video interview.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">They had quoted us exactly, had done the amendments we requested and although they added some descriptive words which made it seem like Lucy was nervous when speaking (artistic licence as she wasn't nervous at all). We didn't like the official pictures taken in the hotel as they are so false and staged, I had not expected to have been photographed either, our personal pictures are so much better but the Mirror insisted on using their own.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">At the same time as the article appearing online we both updated our old life Facebook profiles with a message for friends to see.....</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Lucy's message:</span><br />
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<span style="background: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">Ok my last post
on here....as some of you may have seen or will see I have a story in today's
Sunday mirror (I look so fat!) you can search for it online should you want to
read it....... Anyway as the story states I have battled with demons for years.
Being transgender has led me to suicide attempts and years of a double life. I
am still the same person in many ways. I love my wife, children,family and love
my football. My new life as me starts tomorrow, if you want to stay friends
then drop me a friend request and I will gladly add you.... I apologise to
those whom I have kept this a secret from over the years but hopefully you will
understand why.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">My message:</span><br />
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; mso-outline-level: 6;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">Being transgender is NOT a choice. It is who
you are. It is not a fad and doesn’t go away no matter how clever you are at
suppressing it and it is DEFINITELY NOT a fetish or driven by sexual
preference. No one in their right mind would CHOOSE to be transgender. Why
would you choose to open yourself up to having to pretend to be someone you are
not, the agony of having to live a life that is not yours, to the agony of
abuse from other people because you don’t fit the stereotype, look different,
put your body through lots of changes using hormones and surgery. Not many, if
any, of the people reading this will have a clue about the impact of this and
have no idea how much the associated dysphoria and depression can destroy
lives. Many transgender people live secret lives and a huge percentage never
ever tell anyone due to the social and family impact an admission like this can
cause. In one week a national transgender helpline received 5 phone calls from
wives where their partner/husband had died and they had found evidence of a
secret hidden transgender life. Many transgender people have lost their
relationships with their partners, family and friends. When you transition as
an adult, relationships have been built however these are where the transgender
person has been hiding behind a mask…. the inside is just the same person, it
really is, but the outside will change to at least get somewhere near to match
the true person inside but as changes are having to be made to something
already formed the changes are not as perfect as if they had been if they had
been born into the correct body in the first place.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-outline-level: 6;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">For all her life, the love of my
life Lucy has lived a lie. She has hidden herself so well behind her mask that
practically everyone reading this will be shocked. I was the first person she
told and together we have lived a double life for the past 17 years. There are
a handful of friends and family who know and my children have known for a while
and have been amazingly supportive. We have made many friends in the trans
community and are actually quite well known. We have participated and assisted
with trans specific events, Lucy has DJ’ed many times for special events and in
LGBT+ clubs, attended Pride and Trans Pride and she even hosts her own Trans
radio station which is listened to in 29 countries. I am an admin of a
fantastic support group for partners of trans, write a blog, have contributed
to a partner support handbook and have written an article for partners in a
trans community magazine which Lucy has also featured in for her work with the
radio station.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">So now is the time to be honest
and open to everyone. It is Lucy’s time and from now on we will stand side by
side openly on the journey we have ahead of us. We are a team and have been for
17 years and will continue to be. It’s going to be one hell of a rollercoaster
ride………<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 10.5pt;">I am not asking for your
acceptance or support but should you want to provide this, that would be great,
as I am sure you will appreciate this is going to be bit of a crazy time for us.
This Facebook profile will remain however I will no longer be active on it.
Should you still want to remain friends and be part of our lives and our
journey you are welcome to join me on my other Facebook which I have been using
in tandem with this one for several years. We
have many community friends who have been friends with us for years who are on
my other profile so please bear this in mind if you do come and post anything.
Please don’t come to be </span><span style="font-size: 14px;">nosy</span><span style="font-size: 10.5pt;"> as that is the last thing we need at this stage,
and don’t come to post negative comments as that won’t be tolerated, only come
if you genuinely still want to stay in touch. I’m happy to privately answer
reasonable questions but please remember this is someone’s personal life.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-outline-level: 6;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">This message is not visible to
everyone on my Facebook and if you can see this it is because I consider you to
be a friend.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-outline-level: 6;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">Come and jump on the
rollercoaster with us………<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 107%;">And
if you are interested there is a small article in the Sunday Mirror.......</span><br />
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The response from everyone for us both has been totally overwhelming. We just did not expect this level of acceptance and support. Lucy was and still is (8 days later) receiving messages from friends and acquaintances old and new from the football circles as well as personal friends and messages from strangers across the world. The same for me with messages and comments of support which are still coming in now and we are both making sure that we are responding to every single message...... the dodgy Facebook friend requests are another thing! To be honest we were both in shock with it and the amount of interest in our story. At the end of the day we are just Lucy and Avril. I have to admit that the relief I have felt with us no longer hiding away has been immense. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It did not take long for other UK newspapers such as the Daily Mail and <a href="https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/7051060/footballs-first-ever-transgender-referee-takes-to-the-pitch-and-says-some-will-be-shocked-when-she-runs-on/" target="_blank">The Sun</a> to pick up the story and publish their own articles using the Mirror interview but they found some pictures on Lucy's twitter which she had forgotten about. To be honest we did not mind them stealing these pictures as these were our pictures of us and we think we both look so much better in them! Before we knew it we had gone global.... papers all over the world were publishing our story and every single one was retaining the same positive spin created by the Mirror which we were pleasantly surprised about.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We have kept away from the comments on the articles on social media, twitter etc as to be honest we know what they will be saying. We did have a peek and it did seem like the papers themselves were moderating many of the comments (twitter was a different story) and it seemed to be mainly positive comments however any positive comment would have about 10 times as many dislikes as likes as this was the only was the only way for some of the trolls to get their opinion across. To be honest, a strangers opinion of us and our situation does not bother us. We have seen all the negative comments before many, many times on other transgender specific articles so we knew what to expect. Personally we have received nothing nasty or derogatory.....yet.....</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Now for Lucy's first football match later that day..........</span></span>Avril Clarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16563764797328640219noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485234340783571335.post-66061297313395629732018-08-24T16:20:00.001+01:002018-09-11T13:43:42.541+01:00Count down to Mirror newspaper article day<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b><u>Day 5</u></b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Today Kellie messaged over details on a form the paper had supplied as they are having a review meeting tomorrow morning. Some of the details are very specific such as our full names, ages, address and children details and Lucy's dead name..... not sure why they want that as we don't want any reference to that in the article.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">This request has understandably made us very nervous. We have not signed any contract yet and having our personal details makes us feel very vulnerable. Specifically regarding the children we do not want them being dragged into all of this. It is supposed to be about Lucy coming out as a trans referee and not about the kids. Although my 4 are fine and our daughter is too although when she goes back to school in September it will be her key GCSE year and doesn't need any added distractions, Lucy has already lost one son and we have the eldest son trying his best to be accepting but is in turmoil. The last thing any of them need is the press contacting them. We have said we are not prepared to disclose any children information and for us it is not negotiable and we would pull out if the insisted. We think Kellie understood and she seemed worried we would pull out so I am sure she will convey the correct message.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">We had already tightened up privacy on our deadname and current Facebook pages however we went back through checking again and deleting any unnecessary 'friends'. At 2am as I had forgotten it was there, I was changing the cover pic on my old Facebook as it was a picture of my 3 sons and our daughter and tightening security and access to my LinkedIn account and deleting Lucy's deadname connection so there is no link. We also had to delete pictures of ourselves on the radio station Facebook and Instagram pages so that we are partially in control of what the paper and anyone else that gets alerted to us can see.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b><u>Day 4</u></b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">After little sleep I was up working from home. Previously Lucy had tried to have a small weave to cover the small patch on her head but she really didn't get on with it and it 'fell out' after 5 days. Pretty sure this was down to her fiddling with it. It did look great as it covered the patch and thickened her fringe. We agreed with the salon that it would get put in again at a later date and we wanted to wait until all the Prides were over and done with. What with the paper wanting to take photos at her first proper football match as herself on Sunday and the interview we are having tomorrow evening, we thought it would be a good idea to have it refitted. Lucy organised to go down to the salon at 10am today (I thought that was far too early bearing in mind it is an hour drive away). So as we both had had very little sleep last night she was like a bear with a sore head at 9.50am today regretting everything. I think she forgets it is not just her suffering with the lead up to all this and affects me too. I am knackered through lack of sleep, my mind is running in overdrive however all this stress would be happening whether it was going to be in the newspaper or not. Either way she would be the same.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">She came back from the salon a bit despondent. The refitting had looked awful and neither Lucy or the salon lady were happy with it. As a result Lucy has sorted out a different type of weave and in a few weeks will go back to have it fitted. It is more expensive but she may find it better. This now means she will have to wear a wig for the interview tomorrow - not the end of the world.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b><u>Day 3 (interview day)</u></b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">During the day it had become a little stressful. Wording on contracts was changing and there was a little back and forth. One of the things that was rescinded was giving us headline rights. This made Lucy uncomfortable however the wording stated that they would not sensationalise the headline. We were still very unsure about this.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">We had arranged to meet at a hotel at Gatwick airport as that is easy for us to get to. After a stressful getting ready period, Lucy is always late, we made it to the hotel and were met by the reporter Janine who was really lovely and friendly. She took us up to the hotel suite where we were met by a makeup artist and photographer. Right from the very beginning they made us both feel very comfortable and it was just like spending time with friends having a chat. Everything was very informal and Janine asked a few questions but the conversation just casually flowed and we spoke about the things we were comfortable with. They stuck by the agreement not to mention the kids although the article will mention Lucy has 3 children.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">They did Lucy's makeup and hair for the photoshoot which again was really relaxed and friendly. Lucy had lots of pictures on her own, followed by a few of us both and me on my own (which we had not expected). As part of this they they did a video interview with Lucy which will be on their website. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">We had a discussion about how viable they thought the story was and apparently they think this is a big story! Wow. We were surprised as at the end of the day this is our private life that is being put into the spotlight and we were not sure if it would be a storm in a teacup or something bigger. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">By the time we finished chatting it was far later than anyone expected. We both flt really good about the whole evening and had been reassured that Lucy's story would be told sympathetically.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b><u>Day 2</u></b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Lots of really good feedback has come back from the interview. Apparently they really liked me too and want to include me in any radio and tv interviews along with Lucy. Well of course, work permitting, I would love to be involved!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">In advance of them coming down to cover Lucy's football match on Sunday they want to take pictures of her in her referee kit either today or tomorrow. Today is out so it will have to be tomorrow but our house/garden is really not suitable. My parents are away and have a large flat garden and large house so that would be ideal. So I am trying now to get hold of them to check that it would be ok.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">In the mean time we have double checked our social media and I have a statement I have prepared to load as my status on Facebook telling people of our situation and inviting them over to my other and real life Facebook.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b><u>Day 1 (eve of article publication)</u></b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Again neither of us had much sleep. This is all on our minds all the time. My parents confirmed it was ok to go round their house so that was all good. Janine the reporter had contacted Lucy again and we confirmed the copy they sent over for our approval. A couple of things needed to be changed which she did and said that she would have a picture on the front page and would have a double page spread on pages 4 & 5...... at this point we just presumed a small box on the top right hand side directing people to the relevant pages although we were surprised we were going to be so near the front. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Lucy had organised to see the photographer at my parents house in the afternoon. The chap that turned up was really very friendly and he set about taking lots of pictures of Lucy. All in all he was there with her for about an hour and took lots of pictures in different poses. I was there taking some pics at the same time just so we had some for us.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">During the day we rang and sent messages to several key people in our lives that we wanted to tell before the article was published. There were some interesting but positive conversations had with people. What was amazing was the close male friends of Lucy's who we were both worried about. With the exception of one who took several days to respond (he is getting better as Lucy is educating him), they were extremely supportive and positive.... oh and shocked as well. Lucy had hidden herself so well.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">We had decided we were going to speak to one set of our neighbours that we are very close to that evening. We invited them round saying we needed to speak to them and we could see they were confused and worried about what we were going to say. Lucy said her piece and they were speechless! Once they got over the shock they were incredibly supportive and non judgemental (we thought they may be but you can never be sure).</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">They ended up staying for hours sitting and chatting with us. We went through lots of bottles of wine just sitting talking, sharing stories and answering questions. We love this couple and get on with them so well.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Much later that evening Lucy thought she would check the BBC programme that shows the front pages of the papers in the morning. They went through them and the Mirror was not mentioned so we breathed a sigh of relief and carried on chatting and drinking. A little later they repeated the papers and it seemed to be the same spiel so we were not really paying much attention except this time they mentioned the Mirror and we heard the words 'transgender referee' and all our eyes darted to the television. The full screen in front of us showed us what was the front page of the Mirror, Lucy WAS the whole front page! We all screamed NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! and hysterical screaming of horror and surprise ensued and the place was in pandemonium so much so our daughter Megan came running downstairs from her room. Almost immediately my phone rang and it was one of my cousins and his wife video calling us so virtually they joined in the chaos and shouts of disbelief. I will never, ever, ever forget that night....... </span></div>
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Avril Clarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16563764797328640219noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485234340783571335.post-82685792898514187092018-08-19T01:34:00.000+01:002018-08-19T01:34:21.811+01:00Kellie Maloney and the newspapers<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">As you know, we have had Kellie Maloney on the radio station a few times and she is a great supporter. Her and Lucy have formed a great friendship and with the sporting connection have so much in common.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">A few weeks ago she rung up for one of her chats with Lucy and commented that she didn't know much about her personal life and relationships. She didn't even know we were married or that I even existed. As part of this conversation Lucy mentioned that she was a referee and her plans to 'come out' but still stay as an active referee and how the FA seemed to be dragging their feet as although they have all the great policies they don't know what to do or how to support Lucy as she will be the first openly trans referee in English football across the world. A scary thought!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">This sparked Kellie off and she said that this was going to be news and likely to hit the papers whether we liked it or not so her suggestion was to head it off and contact the papers ourselves so we could get our story out first (no doubt there will be lots of positive and negative comments from in and out the community) but also may force the FA to be more supportive.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">So we were caught in a little bit of a whirlwind and before we knew it Kellie was approaching newspapers and put us in touch with her solicitor. We discussed it between us and thought that if the story was going to hit the newspapers anyway, it would be good to control the first story that was going to be put out there. At least this way we would have an input although we know that any 'trans' news story will attract positive and negative comments from our community and outside. We already deal with 'TERFS' and the like on the radio station social media so nothing there really changes. It also gives a definitive date that Lucy will have to tell the remaining friends of our situation and when all the noise quietens down will enable us to start properly living our life together and no more worrying of being caught out.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Fast forward a few weeks and we are sat here with key dates looming. A few offers from papers came in and a decision was made to go with the Mirror as they would give us headline and copy rights so we can ensure the right message is given over. They have agreed that we can provide photos rather than reply on them taking any, we are to be interviewed together and on Sunday 19th August they will publish Lucy's story and on the same day will come down to cover the womens football match she will be refereeing which will form the basis of a follow up article the following Sunday. On Monday 20th August they will apparently publish my interview which we were not expecting. They are also going to be mentioning Trans Radio too.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">In the meantime Lucy contacted the FA again and once she had explained the situation with the press she was put in touch with the head of referees who was very supportive. Lucy does still want to referee mens matches however she feels that maybe for the first couple of months she would prefer to do the womens and when the dust has settled a bit then resume the mens matches. The moment she steps out on any football pitch as the true her it will start the chatter within the football community. The FA are supportive of this and going to ensure we gets allocated womans matches to the same level as the mens she was doing. They also want to do a press release to coincide with the newspaper article.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">So quite a bit going on in our lives at the moment!</span>Avril Clarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16563764797328640219noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485234340783571335.post-29340379374585413932018-08-19T01:29:00.000+01:002018-08-19T01:29:11.333+01:00Telling Lucy's son<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Lucy had to tell her eldest son, she has known for sometime that she needed to tell him however she is so frightened of losing him. She has stressed so much over the years about telling him but now she had no choice. He needed to know before she transitioned further but also before we told other key people in our lives.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">We had organised to go round to his flat for dinner one evening which is when we were planning on telling him however it turned out his girlfriend would be there too and we didn't want to have this conversation with her too. Lucy decided to ring her son the night before, over the phone was not ideal was had to be done due to the circumstances.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Bearing in mind this son has been openly vocal about being transphobic he wasn't too bad. He was obviously shocked at the news and is taking time to assimilate it all. He is in turmoil as on one hand he does not believe people are transgendered but on the other hand he loves his dad very much and needs to find a way to reconcile the two. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">When we met up with him the following evening we did have a good discussion about it. He has based himself on being a good 'man' like his dad but questions whether that is what he is as now he knows it was all an act. I reassured him that his dad portrayed the best male attributes and did it very well and told him he should be proud of the man he is. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">He asked some questions that we had not been asked before; like what happens to his memories of being with his dad and we said that they stay the same its just from now on, the memories are formed with his dad as she is now and that no matter what she will always be his dad. He then asked about what Lucy would wear to his wedding.... bit of a weird one. I think he is expecting for Lucy to still dress like a man and not a woman. It doesn't help as he didn't want to any pictures of Lucy when she is dressed up being her so in his mind he is unlikely to be picturing the real Lucy. In fact when I said to him that I bet he was envisaging a version of Lily Savage, some bad drag queen or just a man in women's clothes he admitted that was sort of what he was imagining. I told him that she definitely does not look like any of those at all!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">It has been a few weeks now and he has been asking me privately all sorts of questions and telling me how he feels. He still doesn't want to see any pictures and still feels in turmoil but it is early days. He has also been messaging our 15 year old daughter and my children are all on hand to support him if required. Only time will tell.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">When we saw him we did have a discussion about telling Lucy's other son, his younger brother, and it was agreed that he would do it. That went exactly as expected and the other son unfriended Lucy's dead name Facebook from his own and that told us all we needed to know. It is terribly sad however our door will always be open for him should he ever decide he wants to get back in touch. Highly emotional and I really feel for Lucy.</span>Avril Clarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16563764797328640219noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485234340783571335.post-14824220898235892652018-06-20T17:25:00.004+01:002018-06-20T17:25:55.665+01:00Cyprus 2018<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">We had booked a holiday in Northern Cyprus (the Turkish bit) staying in a friends villa with a private pool. This was our first holiday with Lucy travelling and staying as herself so was a big deal. We went with our daughters, my son and his wife and their 4 month old son.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">We had a bit of a nightmare on the flight out as the first was cancelled after a 5 hour delay (2 hours spent on the plane) and we had to go back home and return the next day for a new flight which was delayed by an hour.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">We had no problem getting through security each time etc however the gate staff were quite unprofessional both times. Lucy was dressed quite adrogynously and was wearing glasses whereas in her passport photo she is not. <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">T</span>here was a query by the gate staff in both instances where in the end I had to tell them she was my wife and transgender at which point there were some sniggers. We didn't say anything however I have contacted the airline to ask for a copy of their policy for dealing with transgender customers so we will see what that brings.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">There were no issues with the passport control in Larnaca nor the border control staff as we had to go over the border to Northern Cyprus. Not that we were expecting any issues but it was always a worry especially as we were entering a muslim country. It was an hour and 15 mins drive from the airport to the villa but it was great being able to se<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">e the different views, driving <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">round the bottom of the mountains and <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">notice the differe<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">nce in population density <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">in Northe<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">rn Cyprus.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">We knew our fr<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">ie</span>nds villa was lovely as we had seen some pictures however they did not really show how large, spacious and beautifully decorated the place was. There was definitely a wow factor when we opened the door and every last detail was perfect.</span></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4H_Mr0zIT808KnQNSk5lLU22bjf421tmXt1yMv1DJc447VxtxMXPypInclvTUDTP9lEOb_n6JirQ-_V5sGH8Sn_D49Bqf4F5kGpKAlTcQBuuZYu22H2lfL2vI658BCEPZpteW5MB2QJUK/s1600/20180606_190035.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="778" data-original-width="1600" height="193" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4H_Mr0zIT808KnQNSk5lLU22bjf421tmXt1yMv1DJc447VxtxMXPypInclvTUDTP9lEOb_n6JirQ-_V5sGH8Sn_D49Bqf4F5kGpKAlTcQBuuZYu22H2lfL2vI658BCEPZpteW5MB2QJUK/s400/20180606_190035.jpg" width="400" /> </a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The pool was 20 metres long with a waterfall feature at the end. It was perfect, not cold at all and great for swimming and playing.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAB_yTLT_S2ANmOOa0lpVI494RpE3sP-GtPuhLDGp-ZFcMLp721rOTfz9qH0bcp2RLKjAvMpeP6ms_O2I0Ait4P9gSCCDVXU77XfqpBlo2sky4Ho8duS8b7tMEbtCf7NEcsW2Ucq0A6wwG/s1600/20180530_175618.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAB_yTLT_S2ANmOOa0lpVI494RpE3sP-GtPuhLDGp-ZFcMLp721rOTfz9qH0bcp2RLKjAvMpeP6ms_O2I0Ait4P9gSCCDVXU77XfqpBlo2sky4Ho8duS8b7tMEbtCf7NEcsW2Ucq0A6wwG/s320/20180530_175618.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">There were mountains to the left and the sea to the right. It was a great aspect and the sunsets were amazing which we viewed sat on the patio every evening.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJAtfG9Jts6xiY1WgU4JG6euhSPYSE4JaGYMDSaGVtv7vG7j0Irb3g_rkhUYjiEyGcZ51MQvXduQGO_lrEvGzbE4u4VKsrL-n7vCcXfqsAl0FSmVfttufFvftNvWw6vAEz5NG-pd1R1Q_X/s1600/FB_IMG_1529319941334+%2528002%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="1110" height="155" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJAtfG9Jts6xiY1WgU4JG6euhSPYSE4JaGYMDSaGVtv7vG7j0Irb3g_rkhUYjiEyGcZ51MQvXduQGO_lrEvGzbE4u4VKsrL-n7vCcXfqsAl0FSmVfttufFvftNvWw6vAEz5NG-pd1R1Q_X/s320/FB_IMG_1529319941334+%2528002%2529.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Our friend had thought of every detail. There was a large bbq area with various gas fired cooking areas with hot plates and rings as well as the bbq. Lovely seating in a flower covered area with Turkish lanterns setting the scene at night.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikPbY05YBQpBzEnU53-ojfNPet2q5dp-1D3JkT-5pfmuilQo6XEKAvx0z6XL60vNIGi1tY3JZaeeQ1JgYBXzex8pIoyQkmo5DBY7C2OWybK3ZOcTSgxi9Pc2eKmIqDqL-MUAoqCLZtsOxH/s1600/20180530_204428.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikPbY05YBQpBzEnU53-ojfNPet2q5dp-1D3JkT-5pfmuilQo6XEKAvx0z6XL60vNIGi1tY3JZaeeQ1JgYBXzex8pIoyQkmo5DBY7C2OWybK3ZOcTSgxi9Pc2eKmIqDqL-MUAoqCLZtsOxH/s320/20180530_204428.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">We felt so at home from the moment we arrived to the moment we left.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">It wasn't a densely populated area and the nearest supermarket was a 10 minute drive away but luckily we had hired a car so that was not an issue. My son and his wife drove off to the mountains and local castle on a couple of the days but we were happy to spend most of our time at the villa around the pool as it was very warm.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Lucy was free to relax and be herself and for me it was quite emotional seeing her wearing the right holiday attire for the first time ever. She had her natural hair styled in an easy to care for style which really suited he<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">r and she was really relaxed and comfortable around the family as they were with her.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Her hair is now really long and curly and she let me straighten it and partially put it up. It looked great and gives her possibilities to go out as an every day option without havi<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">ng to<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> wear a hot wig (we are lo<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">oking into the possibility of a weave).</span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGgf3BRpKnZya_ZCqfBAonbB33HDQfPMSj3mSgutXuXODIRu5TPeekDkHCX_6VPIAa1PJYYOdJceh-TAIvoRkYUY178VvgdYUZJLAyc7lfEeV9WTyCbmQ07JQj0OIZJRrZJCHCNWUk5nKu/s1600/34274617_631726917178845_2475512367937486848_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1440" data-original-width="1072" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGgf3BRpKnZya_ZCqfBAonbB33HDQfPMSj3mSgutXuXODIRu5TPeekDkHCX_6VPIAa1PJYYOdJceh-TAIvoRkYUY178VvgdYUZJLAyc7lfEeV9WTyCbmQ07JQj0OIZJRrZJCHCNWUk5nKu/s320/34274617_631726917178845_2475512367937486848_o.jpg" width="238" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> </span></span></span> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">We went off to the main town on one day and had a walk around the shops and stopped for lunch. Although Lucy dressed </span></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">adrogynously she was more on the female side and had nail varnish on, her ha<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">i<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">r <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">up and some lovely girlie sandals. No one said anything and we all felt very comfortable.<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> Lucy felt so comfortable that she even went into a shop to look at a bikini and once the shop assi<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">stan<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">ts realised Lucy was the potential purchaser they were very helpful<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> and<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">, a first for Lucy, she even went into the changing room to try the bikini on which fitted perfectly and she obviously purchased. All ve<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">ry exciting. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">We went out for <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">dinner a handful of times and the food was lovely and so cheap<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> as t<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">he exchange rate is so favourable. Lucy had a f<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">ew wobbles while we<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">re away. Dysphoria is never far away and sometimes the slightest thing can trigger it. <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">A</span>s a result outside of the villa she mostly dressed </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">adrogynously as that is how she felt most comfortable. </span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">The journey back over the bo<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">r<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">der coming home was non eventful and although our flight home was delayed by an hour<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> it wasn't too bad. It is lovely seeing Lucy at home with tan lines in the right places!</span></span></span> </span></span></span></span></div>
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<br /><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The whole holiday was lovely and really relaxing and our friends villa has a place in our hearts. Everyone agreed that we had all had a fant<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">astic time an<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">d <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">w</span></span></span>e are already planning on trips back there next year.... yes trips :)</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5_SNg5N-5803Eplu3ufzr2Vlaod79bFVx7VlAOO5o3_RD1HmyG7DdGe_fsR8LZQgV5Kh2zBgZLKZyjHtvfT8vAr43U0oQERshtkVUgg2hwPbZNkb1laWTenjJoFLd4Fm6BQ_oFlCPGq5i/s1600/20180530_204428.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><br />
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Avril Clarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16563764797328640219noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485234340783571335.post-69873198867848238912018-06-14T14:45:00.000+01:002018-06-14T14:45:16.319+01:00Nearly there.......<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="List Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 5"/>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">What a lot has happened since I last updated my blog. Where
to start…….</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">We were going to tell the remaining key people before we
jetted off on holiday however as with all best laid plans they do not always go
to plan.</span></span></div>
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</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">My parents returned from their holiday and the following day
I went round to see them. I felt anxious all day and I know Lucy was feeling it
too and she nearly backed out of letting me tell them but luckily she didn’t. I
sat and had a conversation with them explaining the situation and they were
totally amazing. As predicted my dad checked I was ok and although he does not fully
understand the situation (he is 84) he was amazingly supportive and accepting.
As for my mum, well all my worries were unfounded and she was great too. It was
all such a relief. They asked a few questions but ever since have been really supportive.
My dad in particular has gone out of his way to make sure he is using the right
name and pronouns and when he came over last night he was very interested in
the radio station (which Lucy was working on at the time) and we were able to
show him some of the things we have been involved in over the years, pictures
and magazine articles (Lucy and the radio station are in the Transliving
magazine this month).</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Whilst I was at my parents when I was telling them my
brother rang. His holiday flight had been delayed so he was around when I
thought he wouldn’t be. My mum was chatting to him and I asked how long he was
around for when she just passed the phone over to me where I proceeded to fill
him in. He was surprisingly great and said that as long as I was happy and ok,
then he was too. Since this conversation he has said that now knowing this
situation a few things from the past make sense now.</span></span></div>
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</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">The following day I received a text from my ex. It seems my
daughter had told him about Lucy the night before. I knew I should tell him
about Lucy as ‘our’ children are heavily involved with Lucy but hadn’t realised
my daughter had taken it upon herself to tell him before I had a chance. Our relationship over the years
has not been great although in the last 2 years it has settled down
tremendously. The text he sent caught me off guard and when I read it, all I
could say was ‘wow’. He was super supportive and also said he was proud of our
4 children for having the right attitude towards the situation. This took mine
and Lucy’s breath away…. So unexpected but so great.</span></span></div>
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</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">A day or 2 later one of my sons came over to see us and said
that him and his girlfriend had told all their friendship group. We were not
expecting this just yet however they had all been at a BBQ together and they
thought it was the right time. We know many of this group personally and I have
actually worked with several of them, and a few I have known since they were
young children going to school with my sons. Everyone took it well….<span> </span>Some of the lads were shocked (Lucy has hidden
it so well) and although they did not necessarily get it, they were all
supportive.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">We had planned to tell Lucy’s mum a week before this but her
partner had suffered a stroke and although he was better and back home the last
thing we wanted to do was contribute to affecting his health. So just before
going on holiday Lucy rang her to tell her. We really were not sure of her
reaction however she was amazing and so super supportive to Lucy. She was not
aware of the situation despite the signs when Lucy was younger but she was
adamant that Lucy was her child and she would love her and support her no
matter what. This was a very emotional conversation for Lucy. Her partner was
great too although when speaking to Lucy he still calls her ‘boy’ and ‘son’ and
we don’t think that will ever change but you know what, it’s not the end of the
world and he is 88 years old and these are his standard phrases. I had a chat
with her mum too and she didn’t ask much but think that was because everything was
new and she was still taking it all in.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Her mum has been contacting us ever since and WhatsApping me
while we were away on holiday asking how it was going (our holiday will be a
different blog post). Lucy spoke to her again last night and she is struggling
with Lucy’s name. She only knows Lucy as the deadname and it was a name she
chose and couldn’t understand why Lucy had not picked the female version of the
same name.<span> </span>Lucy just said that she doesn’t
identify with that name at all and I know that she didn’t want any name that
would remind her of that part of her life. Lucy was a name she really connected
it. I’m sure in time when her mum has met the real Lucy that the name change
will become easier. Last night she said she has told Lucy’s sister who we have
not really had a great relationship with (she also has a brother we don’t see).
Her mum sees Lucy’s sister all the time so I suppose it was logical that she
would tell her. Her sister took the news really well, commented that she has a
sister at last and wants to meet her. I am a little wary however it has made
Lucy very happy and that’s what counts. We are going to visit and stay with her
mum next month and as her sister only lives 10 mins away I’m sure we will get
to see her as well. No matter what the whole situation put a big smile on Lucy’s
face which always makes me happy. As for Lucy’s brother, his mum will tell him
and his wife after we have told everyone. There is no need for them to know at
the moment.</span></span></div>
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</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Lucy’s mum also told her own sister, Lucy’s aunt and her adult
children have been told (Lucy’s cousins) and they are all fine and have taken
the news well. </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Lucy doesn’t have any contact with her dad however we are in
contact with her uncles, cousins and nan on that side of the family. They are
lovely but we don’t see them much or have much contact so they will be told
when we tell everyone else and I’m sure they will filter the information back
to her dad.</span></span></div>
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</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">This leaves one really important person who still hasn’t
been told. In many respects he is the most important person and this is Lucy’s
eldest son (we are estranged from the youngest son). We had planned to tell him
before going on holiday but Lucy decided that she didn’t want to drop the
bombshell and then go away on holiday and leave him. She wants to be there for
him, to answer any questions and field any emotions. They have such a great
father son relationship and she will be devasted if they lose that and of
course, it is all at risk (we have heard so many other sad stories from our
friends regarding their children). He is the one person she is the most scared
of telling and finds every excuse not to tell him just yet. It is delaying
telling him that is delaying telling everyone else. He must be told before we
go public and Lucy is stalling as I know she doesn’t feel strong enough to risk
their relationship. He is the lynchpin to everything and has been for a long
time and has no idea how important he is to the whole situation. She has to do
something soon as it would be horrendous if he heard from someone else. He
needs to hear it from her.</span></span></div>
Avril Clarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16563764797328640219noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485234340783571335.post-21775944305264091232018-05-10T15:54:00.002+01:002018-05-10T15:54:31.808+01:00‘Go live’ day is coming......... all change!<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">After numerous false starts over the past 3 years and 17
years of living a double secret life the time is coming when everything becomes
one. It is an exciting and nervewracking time. It seems that unlike many other trans people Lucy has been slow
approaching this goal. I speak to many partners who have been running along
after their loved one trying to catch up with them as they are like a horse who
has bolted; once the partner has been told they want to declare it all to world
and are on full speed ahead leaving the partner stunned in the wake. It has not
been like that for Lucy. She has considered every single option from every
single angle and from my perspective it has been like dragging a reluctant
horse out of the stable! </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">There have been various times we had planned to tell
everyone but there has always been a reason not to, the latest being a very
good reason with all her heart issues (I will let her off this one). Each time
a plan is made I silently psych myself up, plan the conversations in my mind
and then it all stops. Emotionally I don’t think I can do this anymore. I
cannot keep living this twilight world, keeping secrets from people, not being
honest about what we are doing, trying to remember which pronoun and name to
use around different people. This has to be the final time, the real time, it is time
to be us, the real Avril and Lucy.</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">She has lived full time as Lucy for over 2 years, it’s just people
don’t realise she is there as they are not seeing her as she is not shoving it in their faces. She changed her name
nearly 3 years ago, bank accounts, passport, etc were changed a long time ago
and her driving licence has come back leaving the taxi badge etc to be changed.
She changed the name on her car insurance and the agent was fab, used the correct
name from the beginning and even wrote off the usual admin fee charged to
change details.</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">We have a clutch of people around us that do know and of
course my kids and our daughter have been fab. A few of my work colleagues know
about Lucy and have been amazing. One colleague always wants to have a chat
with Lucy if she knows she is on the phone. We have a new guy starting at work
in 2 weeks and I have spoken to my manager as I want this new person only to
know Avril and Lucy. There is not much point in giving the deadname as ‘go
live’ is only a week later. This means there are a couple of other people who
work in my office and the senior director whose division I work in that I needed
to tell before this new chap starts. So, yesterday I spoke to my senior
director who was great (he was worried as he thought I wanted a word him as I was
going to resign) and said to let him know if I needed any support. I said I was
fine, we are great and that my immediate manager has been very supportive. The
other people in the office were great too and super supportive.</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">And then it is the rest……. We are going on holiday abroad on
29<sup>th</sup> May. Lucy is obviously travelling using her passport, the
booking is in her name as are the airline tickets. Therefore this is ‘go live’
day although we won’t have told absolutely everyone by then, the rest we will
do when we get back. We are sort of dropping the bomb and running away but this
way it gives us some breathing space even though we will be still able to log
on to social media while we are away but also gives people a little bit of time
to deal with it without us being around. We are not going away on our own, our
daughters are coming with us as is one of my sons, his wife and our grandson.
It does leave two of my boys back in the UK but they have said they will be
fine plus the majority of people I’m sure will be conversing with us.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">So what is the plan? The plan changes all the time. We are
running out of time to tell everyone face to face before we go away. We don’t
want to tell some people too early for fear of Lucy being outed before we have
had a chance to tell people in our own way. We are close with one neighbour so need to tell them as she will see Lucy leaving the house for holiday; this neighbour sees everything. We will probably have a chat with them just before we go. I think she will be fine, but again who knows. My parents are away until 24th May which
does not give us much time but I am planning on telling them when they are back.
One of my sisters knows already which leaves another sister and my brother to
tell. My brother goes away just before us and as my parents come back so I only
have a small window of time to tell him. I think it will have to be a
telephone call after I have told my parents, probably while he is away on
holiday. Not ideal but I need to tell my parents first as I am very unsure how he will take the news. I wanted to tell my other sister before I speak to my parents as I
think she is the one my mum may lean on. I wasn’t sure how my sister would take
it but I rang her this morning and she was great. She said that everything just
all made sense as she had noticed some of Lucy’s changes and everything has fallen into place. She was very
supportive and said lots of nice things which was a relief. She did ring my
other sister immediately after and I understand that was a supportive
conversation. I was a bit nervous in telling her as it was a planned phone call
which I haven’t done with anyone else but it all turned out well.</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Lucy’s mum will need to be told as will her eldest son (the
younger son is travelling and estranged from his dad so we will leave the other
son to speak to him – we are not expecting a positive outcome). This is Lucy’s
issue to deal with and I’m not sure what she is going to do. Her mum does not
live locally and we have no time to visit her so I expect it will be a phone call.
We don’t any contact with her dad (her parenets are long divorced) but no doubt he will hear via other family
members. I doubt he will make contact. When ever I try to talk to Lucy about
the timing for telling her son and mother she gets dismissive. I know it is
because she is nervous and is not looking forward to the conversation. My kids have said that they will all be there for her eldest son and will do their best to support him but that does all depend on his reaction. Whenever
and however she does it, I will be there to support her through this.</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Then we have a clutch of close friends. I have mentioned
them before. This will be phone calls or a text (they will ring if we send a
text as I’m sure they will be convinced we are joking). I have no idea how they
will take it. A positive response would be great however in these circumstances
you plan for the worst. Watch this space.</span></span></div>
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</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">In preparation for holiday we have been clothes shopping for
Lucy. She has never bought holiday clothes before so it is all a bit exciting.
She now has several pairs of lovely shorts, mix and match bikinis, tops, flat
sandals (shock horror!) and some really gorgeous swim suits. She went out
yesterday and had her eyebrows threaded and AT LAST they were done beautifully
with a proper shape and colour. It has really changed her face. She even told the technician after about her situation and showed her some pictures of us out and about. She also had her ears pierced again so now has two sets of earrings in her ear
lobes now. For me this was the biggest indication that this ‘go live’ date is
really happening. She wouldn’t have had them done as it will affect her refereeing
for what is left of the season.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">She has decided that she will give up refereeing men’s football.
As much as The FA will protect her in regard to the clubs and the players, they
cannot control comments from the crowds. She referees at a high level and just
doesn’t want to put herself into a position where she will get abuse. Most clubs
serve alcohol and all it takes is one drunken supporter to shout abuse and then
it just starts everyone off. It is such a shame as football is her passion. She
will still referee women’s matches but they are not as frequent as the men’s
matches and they are slower paced. Sad times.</span></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">I have heard back from the NHS Trust that I had the meeting with. They have arranged for our friend Jo who runs the organisation <a href="http://www.facebook.com/seechangehappen" target="_blank">SEE Change Happen</a> and she is going in to do a taster session with some of the NHS staff. I have been invited to go along too so of course I have accepted. This is next week so it is all happening at once!</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJYnLywoYtZRN11GAjuPOdhlqRj4lfjUG9UFAAOlV72kngk7XRDI2qKqbT1NIWLSYytyECvRRkG9MovhIuiJSVC0MVNqGPlqeBP41IDmFoUvFDhW5mcDGoU3yzLc79b6OnnZzeoUyzlD8I/s1600/Trans-Radio-UK_Final-Logo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="900" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJYnLywoYtZRN11GAjuPOdhlqRj4lfjUG9UFAAOlV72kngk7XRDI2qKqbT1NIWLSYytyECvRRkG9MovhIuiJSVC0MVNqGPlqeBP41IDmFoUvFDhW5mcDGoU3yzLc79b6OnnZzeoUyzlD8I/s200/Trans-Radio-UK_Final-Logo.jpg" width="200" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihgnOSGka46A1HVcr7j5uHPfXsc2A-7GFeNWKinwmWXArGqisNlFk36S8otJvJ6vBBM8DqgxVJhci4baWkreK_vY2OFqMN8bGCb16s5Vb0WzPUvWLDYZPxfSIqTtGraoPhK_IFvympkHVz/s1600/Trans-Radio-UK-3+USE+THIS+ONE.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1000" data-original-width="1000" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihgnOSGka46A1HVcr7j5uHPfXsc2A-7GFeNWKinwmWXArGqisNlFk36S8otJvJ6vBBM8DqgxVJhci4baWkreK_vY2OFqMN8bGCb16s5Vb0WzPUvWLDYZPxfSIqTtGraoPhK_IFvympkHVz/s200/Trans-Radio-UK-3+USE+THIS+ONE.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.transradio.co.uk/" target="_blank">Trans Radio UK</a> is going from strength to strength. Listeners
are increasing and are still worldwide. She has now interviewed all sorts of
different and interesting people, featured many trans DJ’s and musical artists
and their music as well as the mainstream stuff. We now have new logos and are
looking to get some t-shirts made up. We are looking to broadcast live from some
of the events happening over the next few months. Lucy and the radio station will be featured in the next edition of <a href="http://www.transliving.co.uk/" target="_blank">Transliving magazine</a> too. If you have not liked the
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/transradiouk/" target="_blank">Facebook</a> page, please go and like it and share!</span></span></div>
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Avril Clarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16563764797328640219noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485234340783571335.post-33916521249961120222018-04-17T11:21:00.001+01:002018-10-22T11:16:23.472+01:00Just Charlie<!--[if !mso]>
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<![endif]--><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Just Charlie
is a film that premiered on Sky Cinema yesterday. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">#JustCharlie <a href="https://twitter.com/justcharliefilm" target="_blank">@JustCharlieFilm</a> <a href="http://www.facebook.com/justcharliethemovie">www.facebook.com/justcharliethemovie</a></span></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXBmiIqT0RXslcyzE0-YNP_NWCvdvsQymtwi2RUn4KBPArWe460c6b0x0vIyN0AqXjtty-nH6vg6o8iMJfCklZu2ms5C4AJgwxQyvMzzYyOwUS0CBZwgrIFIvtaedPr5exazTijk_sr5bh/s1600/30167399_10156387039222990_8745639854729200835_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXBmiIqT0RXslcyzE0-YNP_NWCvdvsQymtwi2RUn4KBPArWe460c6b0x0vIyN0AqXjtty-nH6vg6o8iMJfCklZu2ms5C4AJgwxQyvMzzYyOwUS0CBZwgrIFIvtaedPr5exazTijk_sr5bh/s320/30167399_10156387039222990_8745639854729200835_o.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b><i><span style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 0%; color: #222222;">“A teen football star who is being
courted by a top club is torn between wanting to live up to his father's
expectations or shedding his ill-fitting skin” </span></i></b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b><i><span style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 0%; color: #222222;">"A heartwarming story of a fun-loving teenager Charlie, who unveils a
secret that takes him on a road paved with obstacles, prejudices and
confusion"</span></i></b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">We found out
about this film from the <a href="https://www.facebook.com/transradiouk/" target="_blank">Trans Radio UK</a> interview that Lucy did with Kellie Maloney last week.
We did some research about the film, watched the trailer and eagerly awaited
the premiere day, 16<sup>th</sup> April 2018.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">We didn’t get
to watch it until last night, it premiered at 9.40am so recorded it as we were both working, and had
seen that already a few people that had watched it were giving it great
reviews. So we settled down to watch it together last night.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Virtually from
the beginning I was in tears. Watching Charlie struggle with her identity, the hidden
secrets, the discovery, the football coach trying to find the right words to
show his support of what he had accidentally discovered, the best friend rejecting her, the fathers brutal denial
of what was clearly obvious, the mother supporting Charlie whilst trying to
address her husbands issues and the unquestionable, unwavering support from her
sister Eve.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">At the
beginning I made a few comments to Lucy as I could see so many parallels to
what she has told me and the psychologists about her younger life especially as
football had featured so strongly for her too but I felt she didn’t want to
engage with me. Too much was too close to home, except I don’t think she would
have received any support at all.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">We watched
the rest of the film in silence, holding hands, squeezing in uncomfortable but
realistic moments and mostly I had quiet tears streaming down my face. Crying for
Charlie, crying for Lucy and crying for everyone in our life who would connect
with this, crying for the people I don’t know and angry at the transphobic and
ignorant characters that I know exist in real life. It is one thing having the person you love tell you about
these things but totally different seeing it being acted out in front of you
and to think Lucy had experienced this on her own before we met just breaks my
heart.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">The film really
covers the struggle for transgendered youth and their families but also shows
what society is like. Even though it is more empathetic nowadays there is still
a very long way to go but it was great to see <a href="http://www.mermaidsuk.org.uk/" target="_blank">Mermaids</a> being featured when the
mum, the friend, the sister, the father were researching to find out more
information. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Having had 5
children of my own, I can only hope that I would have been a supportive parent
should any of them been transgendered. I cannot say for certain as I have not
had to face this challenge but feel in my heart of hearts I would have been.
Maybe because I did have a transgendered friend in my teenage years when it was
mostly hidden away and not as open as it is now so it wouldn’t have been
something new for me. There is a Nescafé Gold coffee advert that says that we meet
roughly 80,000 people in our lifetime. I use this figure when talking to people
about how low the incidence of being transgender is and ask them how many
transgender people they have knowingly met. Apart from community friends, most
other people say Lucy is the first for them which just proves my point. By
comparison in my non-community life, Lucy was the 3<sup>rd</sup> transgendered
person I had knowingly known along with lots of other eclectic and colourful
friends. I wonder if my easy acceptance of Lucy’s situation is down to this
plus I think my parents were very open minded about life as I was growing up
bringing up myself and my siblings in a non-prejudice environment. I can only
hope that I would have been a supportive trans parent and will certainly be a
supportive grandparent if the situation were to arise.</span></span></div>
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</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Anyway I
seemed to have digressed…….</span></span></div>
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</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">After the
film had finished we were discussing whether it was harder coming out as
transgender as a child/youth or as an adult. I’m not sure we came up with an
answer as both have their different challenges but certainly the sooner you can
transition before puberty the better chance you have as being accepted as an
adult as the ravages of either hormone has not had a chance to make its mark.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"> All in all it
was a great film, it wasn’t sensationalist and dealt with the Charlie character
in an empathetic way showing the internal struggles that are real for everyone
no matter what age you are.</span></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"></span></div>
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</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">When Lucy
interviewed the director Rebekah Fortune for <a href="https://www.facebook.com/transradiouk/" target="_blank">Trans Radio UK</a> she said that
selecting the right actor to play Charlie was key. It wasn’t about having a cis
or a trans actor for the role but was about finding the right child. Sadly many
trans children wouldn’t have been able to do it as they would have been too
vulnerable which I am sure we all understand.</span></span></div>
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</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Looking at
their Facebook and Twitter feeds today the response has been amazing:</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>Just finished watching <a data-hovercard-prefer-more-content-show="1" data-hovercard="/ajax/hovercard/page.php?id=647663072035769&extragetparams=%7B%22fref%22%3A%22mentions%22%7D" href="https://www.facebook.com/justcharliethemovie/?fref=mentions">Just Charlie</a>!! BEAUTIFUL film!!
You must all be so incredibly proud of the film you have created!! <span class="7oe"></span>If you haven't seen it then… WATCH IT!!
It's honestly incredible!!</i></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="line-height: 107%;">‘<b>Just Charlie</b>’ is the most eye
opening film I’ve probably ever watched</span></i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="line-height: 107%;">Wow
this is such a powerful film. Spencer Coile said "With an influx of trans
representation in television and film, <b>Just
Charlie</b> is a touching reminder that these stories need to be
told. And perhaps it is our job to listen."</span></i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="line-height: 107%;">Just
watched <b>Just Charlie</b>
& have to say it is a great film would highly recommend you check it out
taking a current topic & engaging you into the topic & the ending was
superbly done</span></i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="line-height: 107%;"><a href="https://twitter.com/justcharliefilm"><s>@</s><b>justcharliefilm</b></a>
it’s incredible! <a data-mentioned-user-id="3376135714" href="https://twitter.com/BeCoMeCast"><s>@</s><b>BeCoMeCast</b></a> The casting is
unbelievably perfect, Rebekah Fortunes directing is incredible and works in
beautiful harmony with Karl Clarke’s stunning cinematography! Harry Gilbert is
breathtaking as Charlie. I need to lay down!</span></i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b><i><span style="line-height: 107%;">Just
Charlie</span></i></b><i><span style="line-height: 107%;">:
a phenomenal lgbt film about a closet trans teen, this depicts how hard it is
as a trans person, please watch it</span></i></span></span></div>
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</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="line-height: 107%;">Sobbed
all the way through <a data-query-source="hashtag_click" href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/justcharlie?src=hash"><s>#</s><b>justcharlie</b></a> set in <a data-query-source="hashtag_click" href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/Tamworth?src=hash"><s>#</s><b>Tamworth</b></a> and <a data-query-source="hashtag_click" href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/Lichfield?src=hash"><s>#</s><b>Lichfield</b></a> <a data-query-source="hashtag_click" href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/netherstowe?src=hash"><s>#</s><b>netherstowe</b></a></span></i></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="line-height: 107%;">At
last a decent film on <a data-mentioned-user-id="269956455" href="https://twitter.com/sky"><s>@</s><b>sky</b></a> - <a data-query-source="hashtag_click" href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/JustCharlie?src=hash"><s>#</s><b>JustCharlie</b></a>. Highly recommend watching.</span></i></span></span></div>
Avril Clarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16563764797328640219noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485234340783571335.post-1095401608977277962018-04-12T15:08:00.002+01:002018-04-12T15:08:55.818+01:00NHS Equality, Diversity and Inclusion Manager meeting<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<![endif]--><span style="font-family: "Verdana",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">Yesterday I had an appointment with the Equality, Diversity and Inclusion Manager <span style="background: white;"></span>at our local NHS trust. This was the trust
where Lucy encountered what seemed to be a self appointed ‘sex change’ expert
(head paramedic and his 'expert' terminology) who gave Lucy no choice in the ward
she would be admitted to and broke so many regulations under the Data
Protection, Equality and the Gender Recognition Acts.</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">After Lucy’s experience, my first course of action
was to contact PALS and request a copy of their transgender policy. I wanted to
see what this document contained and then compare our experience to what had
been documented. I was surprised to find that there was no policy in place at
all however they referred me to the </span><span style="font-family: "Verdana",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">Equality, Diversity and Inclusion Manager, <span style="background: white;"></span></span> Mr A, who suggested a meeting to
discuss our experiences but also to be involved with the creation of a policy.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">Lucy was supposed to be coming too but for her this
issue is now in the past and she is more prepared to let things slide. My view
is that if Lucy was ever ill again, this would be the hospital that she would
end up in so I wanted to safeguard her but also anyone else from the community
that may have need of this particular NHS trust services (there are two local
hospitals under this Trust). Lucy certainly isn’t the only one from the
community living in the surrounding area.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">Mr A had been extremely friendly on the phone and
via email but I still wasn’t sure what to expect. I didn’t know much about his
experience or what he may be expecting from me so I had a quick look at his
LinkedIn profile (very useful!) and could see that he has been involved with
this sort of policy before. In order to prepare, I scoured the internet for
various other NHS Trusts transgender policies which I printed off to take with
me. There were four fairly recent ones and although the basic content was the same the best and most comprehensive was for South London and Maudsley NHS Trust. I went through them all and
highlighted all the areas that were relevant to our experience. To be honest I
was shocked when I realised how many regulations had been breached by the
paramedic, I just hadn’t realised. I also prepared a list of useful
organisations and websites and printed and highlighted the relevant part of my
<a href="https://itsallaboutmylucy.blogspot.co.uk/2018/01/a-broken-heart-long-story.html" target="_blank">blog post</a> as that explained the situation perfectly; all I added was the
paramedics name.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">I arrived for the meeting and Mr A greeted me at
the door. Again he was very friendly and amicable and I think we both felt
really at ease with each other which made conversation easy. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">I started by telling him a bit about us and went
over the experience that we had been through and he took lots of notes. I
reiterated that the actual medical care that Lucy had received, especially as
it was near to Christmas and the NHS was getting slated in the press about
waiting times, was not up for dispute and that we were very happy with the
medical care she had received. All the staff from the receptionist through to
the nursing staff and consultants had not batted an eye at our situation and
although some may have struggled with pronouns they had tried and all been
respectful and made us both feel as comfortable as we could be under the circumstances. All the
issues that we had were created by this ‘expert’ and we struggled to see
why he had even been required to speak to us as the conversation regarding
wards and beds could have been had with any of the staff we had already
encountered. He asked me if we knew had instructed him to come to speak to us but we
didn’t know.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">We also discussed about Lucy being placed on a male
ward with no choice and the open conversations the paramedic had with the ward
staff and the subsequent open nursing team meeting that was had discussing Lucy. I also
told him that we had a real lack of male clothing at home but as she had been
admitted to a male ward I had been out and bought suitable male clothes and
accessories as she didn’t want to draw any attention to her situation as she
was in an open male ward. He was appalled that we had felt the need to do this.
He said we were accommodating them where they should have been them
accommodating Lucy and that they had failed her terribly. There should have
been a way to accommodate her in a female ward either in a private room or in a
corner of a ward with curtains. He also understood that her bathroom needs
would have been different to the other patients on the male ward and that she
had to pick her time when she went into the shared facilities as she had to
shave facially at least once day and there was all the other personal care too
which meant she would have been using the facilities far longer than anyone
else.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">He said that he was very concerned and the first
thing he would need to ensure is that the paramedic is not used for this
purpose again as he was in breach of so many legal requirements. He thanked me
for trying to resolve the issue in this way rather than making a straight
forward complaint. I said that for us it was not about screaming and shouting
and we were not even necessarily after an apology but we wanted to ensure that
procedures and processes are changed so this does not continue or happen again
to someone else. He will raise this with the complaints team so that the
‘incident’ can be logged and investigated properly but following on from this a
formal transgender policy will need to be created, not just for transgender
patients/users of the NHS services but a comprehensive all encompassing policy
that also caters for transgendered staff. To do this he wanted to work with us
and as part of this process would like us to come in and chat to staff about
our experiences as he said that it is one thing having a policy and training
people but sometimes listening to real life examples with how it made us feel
can make it more real and bring the message home better.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">We went through some of the NHS transgender
policies I had printed and I had not only highlighted parts relevant to us but
also parts of the policies which I felt were key to any new policy. He was
suitably impressed and said that I had done much of the background work for him
as this would have been the first thing he would have done. He had previously
been in touch with <a href="https://www.gires.org.uk/" target="_blank">GIRES</a> in a previous role so has touch points with them.
Obviously as well as a policy, he considers staff training and engagement as
key. For this I got the opportunity to recommend a friend of ours who has her
own transgender consultancy, <a href="https://seechangehappen.co.uk/" target="_blank">SEE Change Happen</a>, and he was very interested in
using her and I was able to pass her details on.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
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policy and training will take time, let alone one that needs to encompass so
many legal requirements. This will be work in progress for some time and I am
excited to be part of this process as there is an opportunity to educate and
make change for the better.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"></span></div>
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Avril Clarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16563764797328640219noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485234340783571335.post-58833405150700460252018-04-02T13:54:00.001+01:002018-04-19T16:29:40.762+01:00Trans Radio UK<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">As you know, Lucy is a DJ which she has been doing for some 25 years or more. Music is very key in our house and there is usually someone playing music or singing (our daughter M is an amazing piano player and singer).</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">A few years back Lucy hosted a non-league radio station she created while she was managing a football team which did contain music as well as the expected football information etc. It was very popular and was something she really enjoyed doing.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">So for sometime she has been toying with the idea of creating a Trans Radio Station where all the DJ's would be trans/non binary but also would be a place for people to also advertise their trans related services.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Two weeks ago she started setting up the radio station, <a href="http://www.transradio.co.uk/" target="_blank">Trans Radio UK</a> and she has set up a Facebook page for it too, <a href="http://www.facebook.com/transradiouk">www.facebook.com/transradiouk</a></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">. She was presented with lots of challenges to get it working which have been resolved at some considerable expense by her purchasing some new equipment</span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> (I think in some cases it was just an excuse to update some of the gear she already had!). She never does things by halves and she turned up with a variety of microphones she had bought as the microphones she uses for her usual DJing were apparently not good enough, some probably more impressive in style rather than function!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">She did a call out amongst our friends to supply a logo for the station. Jess Smile, one of our friends who is a great artist supplied her with a fab picture which is being used. Thanks Jess :)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">After a LOT of swearing and threats to give it all up, the radio station is up live and has been for nearly a week. Already there are lots of listeners from around the world and we have been amazed at the locations as so far it has only been shared to our friends. We have several businesses which will be advertising on the station (for free of course however it does cost £10 if they need her to create the advert) and there are guest DJ spots available, </span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">so don't hesitate</span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> to contact her via the Facebook page if you are interested.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">There is music playing 24/7 and live broadcasts in between all that at specific times. The feedback from everyone so far has been really positive. The intention is to play various genre of tunes to cater for everyone. The first guest spot is Ruby Fury tonight 8-9pm (UK time) so come along, like the Facebook page and tune in.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Update: 19/04/2018</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">We now have new logos</span><br />
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Avril Clarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16563764797328640219noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485234340783571335.post-75998931943838727422018-03-07T11:43:00.001+00:002018-03-07T11:43:47.297+00:00Butlins and life<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Blimey, life has been so hectic recently what with Lucy's heart issues, our first grandchild arriving, GIC appointments, work being manic, Pinks (as always) to name but a few.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Yes, we became grandparents for the first time on 28th January to a lovely little boy called Arthur thanks to my eldest son and his wife. He is totally gorgeous and his nannies Avril and Lucy adore him dearly.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Lucy had her second operation end of January and is now on the road to recovery. She is still getting out of breath and using the GTN spray but she is miles better than she was. She has had to pull out of a 10k run she was planning on doing in April and I think she will have to do the same for the half marathon that she is due to run in May. I think it is highly unlikely she will be able to do this as she is not even fit enough to get back to refereeing yet let alone training for and then running/walking a half marathon.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The staff at the hospital for the second operation were great with Lucy and were very understanding. They made a couple of little slip ups but nothing major. She felt relaxed enough that she showed them pictures of us out and about and they were incredibly complimentary and friendly.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">All the health issues means that Lucy being out to one and all has stalled. Our plans were for her to tell everyone by end of Jan 2018 but we had to concentrate on her health first and didn't want to be worrying about fall out from anything else. So now it looks like we will tell everyone who doesn't know by the end of May, just before we go away on holiday to Cyprus for 8 days. This gives time for her health to improve and for us to concentrate in getting everything ready for 'go-live' day. I'm still surprised people have not picked up the signs, they really are there for all to see if only they really saw the person in front of them. The only person who has made any comment is my mum who has now mentioned several times how much 'he' looks like a woman! She still thinks she is being derogatory but doesn't realise how complimentary she is being!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Obviously not being able to referee is costing us financially but also this was the main source of fitness for Lucy where she would be running more than 20km a week. It also means that by the time she gets back to refereeing she will be fully out so there are all sorts of other issues associated with that. We need to have conversations with the FA not just to protect her but also a plan of how they are going to assign matches to her. She is quite high ranking for male football (she referees woman's football too but these games are lower and won't be affected) and she believes she will lose her ranking when she is full time..... this shouldn't be the case as that would be discrimination. In any case these are things that need to be addressed.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">For the end of February we had planned a trip to Butlins Minehead with our friends Jennie and Ethan and actually this came at a good time for us as we needed the break away and Lucy was well enough to go. We had never been to Butlins before and went to Pontins with the kids 4 years ago and we hated it - dirty, horrid accommodation and rubbish entertainment, so we didn't know what it would be like. Lucy was also nervous as we would be in an environment with lots of families as it was a family weekend and half term and didn't know what to expect.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">First impressions were great. The staff were really friendly and the accommodation was simple but clean and not tired or worn. The entertainment was amazing and the whole place was huge but clean and well kept. We paid to have the premium food and the food and the restaurant was lovely. The first night we didn't sleep much as the mattress was awful and we we went to guest services the next day and the mattress was replaced with a brand new one with 40 minutes! No quibble. How amazing is that! We went 10 pin bowling most days and just enjoyed meandering around.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We had a great time. Despite there being hundreds of families staying (it holds 9,000 people) only one little girl looked at Lucy all wide eyed and watched her as she walked.... it was an amusing moment. None of the other children didn't even notice her. A chap was coming down some stairs as we were walking up and he just couldn't help but stare openly so much so he nearly fell over. There were a couple of adults who stared at us but once I started staring right back at them they would eventually look uncomfortable and look away embarrassed that they had been noticed. All bar one of the hundreds of staff there came over as transphobic. This barman kept calling Lucy 'mate' and was just downright rude. I went over and he served me and was friendly and polite and didn't call me mate so we knew 'mate' wasn't a term he used generally. On the last evening Lucy confronted him and he was very defensive saying he called everyone 'mate' but we knew this was a lie. In any case, we had his name from the bar receipt and have raised a complaint against him. On the last day as we were preparing to leave a group of builders who were working on site walked past us and then all fell about laughing. Although they are not Butlins employees their company is employed by Butlins so we mentioned it on the feedback form.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">There was one woman though who needs a special mention as for us she wins the idiot of the year award. We were playing crazy golf with Jennie and Ethan and had reached the 10th hole waiting for the 2 women and 1 child ahead of us. The older woman (in her late 40's) turned round and looked at us and said to Lucy "are you an honorary woman for the day?" WTF??!!! Lucy was wearing leggings and a tunic top, Ugg boots, fitted jacket, casual daytime make up, and had her usual hair. What on earth made Lucy look like she had been dressed up for the day??!! Once we got over the shock (we were seriously gobsmacked) I turned round and said she is a woman, a woman every day! Well I'm not sure if she felt embarrassed or not, her friend did, but she turned round and continued her game and when finished ushered her son and friend away telling him to move on to let these 'ladies' finish their game. As with all things, you think of a billion other things you should have said, "are you an honorary idiot for the day" but this did upset Lucy and it was on her mind for the rest of the break away. I kept telling Lucy just to forget it as it was said in ignorance however in my heart there was nothing that should have made this woman say this so I understand why Lucy was so bothered. Let's hope this woman has learnt by this experience. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">However we had such a great time that we are now booked to go back for an adult 80's weekend in November which also includes a fancy dress Halloween ball and again we have booked for 3 days in December between Christmas and New Year and are taking our youngest daughter M, Jennie and Ethan and their 6 kids will be going and now my eldest son, wife and their new son are also coming too. Can't wait!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Last week Lucy had her first GIC pre-op appointment. We saw the person we saw before, Vanessa Crawford. She is so lovely and we both feel very relaxed chatting with her. We updated her on Lucy's heart issues and medication and she has allayed our fears that it may hinder surgery. She has confirmed that Lucy will still be able to have surgery but just they need to be a little more careful with her. The appointment was really relaxed and went really well. She was horrified at the way Lucy was treated (as a transgender person) at the first hospital and mentioned that Dr Barrett would be more than happy to write to the NHS Trust but we said we felt we had it all in hand (more about this later). Lucy was told to think about whether she wanted her surgery at London or at Brighton and which surgeon she would prefer. There is no guarantee that you will get your surgeon of choice however there is a strong possibility you will. Apparently once referred the waiting time for surgery at London is 4 months and Brighton 6-8 months however the Brighton timeline is deceasing. We didn't have to make a decision there and then but we did indicate we would prefer London. From this you can tell she had no hesitation in giving 1st approval for surgery. The next appointment for 2nd approval is not until Jan 2019 with Gurleen Bhatia and as long as we get her approval Lucy could have her surgery as early as April/May 2019. Exciting! This also falls in line with our plan for a marriage blessing October 2020.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Straight after this appointment Lucy had her first voice coaching assessment session. Following this she will get 4 personal sessions and 8 group sessions. This was very interesting and despite Lucy laughing at some of the exercises she now has some exercises she needs to keep practising. The therapist was really good. I am glad I was there as I know what she should be doing and keep nagging her to practice! There is lots of humming going on in our house at the moment.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Last week she also had a scan on her thyroid due to the overactive thyroid she now has. Because of this she will need to see a local hospital endocrinologist so that could be an interesting discussion bearing in mind her situation. The scan went well although it did take the radiographer a few moments to realise I was not the patient. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As for her treatment during her heart issues I contacted the trust PALS and without giving any details of any issue I asked them to provide me with a copy of their transgender patient care policy. After a week they came back and said that they don't have one and included another chap on the email and invited us to come in and be involved in the production of one. I responded that of course we would, however at this point in time Lucy had not had her second surgery and requested that they leave it a couple of weeks until Lucy was back on her feet. Well I did not hear anything for over a month so sent them another email:</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>This is a serious issue and Lucy's treatment (non surgical) contravenes The Equality Act 2010 and as there is no policy in place the presumption is that all treatment of transgender patients under the trust are more than likely contravening the Act.</i></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Funnily enough I received a phone call within 5 minutes of sending the email. We are now liaising to get a mutually agreeable date for us to go in to discuss. Watch this space.</span>Avril Clarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16563764797328640219noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485234340783571335.post-65984564616897687312018-01-10T14:22:00.003+00:002018-04-12T12:00:40.290+01:00A broken heart...... a long story<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Don’t panic! My heart is not broken…… This is a catch up on why
there has been such a long gap in between my posts. It has all been a manic and
emotionally draining time hence no posts.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I last wrote about chest pains that Lucy was getting which
seemed to have been attributed to the change to hormone tablets. Lucy didn't get on well with the gel so reverted back to patches but these pains didn’t
go away and increased in intensity and frequency to a point where over a 3 week
period she was having 5 a day. The pain affected both her arms and made her
hands feel so weak she couldn’t pick anything up and she was just getting so
breathless just walking short distances. Reading back what I’m writing it all
seems so obvious but our GP didn’t think so!<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Four trips to the GP ensued (and a game of football which she refereed) where they seemed to be baffled
even though her maternal grand parents had a history of heart problems and her mum had a
heart attack at 50 (Lucy is only 46) and now suffers with angina so all this
was disclosed. On one visit, it was a locum who said it was unlikely to be heart
related and Lucy was diagnosed with acid reflux and given the relevant
prescription. At one point our usual GP did a blood test and organised a heart check
up with the nurse who did height, weight, diet, exercise and took results from
the blood test, good and bad cholesterol levels (which were great) etc and
gave Lucy a 1.8% risk of a heart attack. <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">In the meantime the pains still continued and I was getting
more and more worried about her as she was looking really poorly. She wouldn’t let me take her to the hospital
and booked another appointment on 21<sup>st</sup> December with the GP. I know
Google is dangerous for looking up symptoms and self-diagnosis however she had
all the symptoms of unstable angina so she went armed with this information.
The GP didn’t seem too interested in anything she took and seemed unsure what the issue
was however when he took Lucy’s blood pressure she had a pain attack where her
pulse and blood pressure went off the scale and he was immediately on the phone
to the hospital to get Lucy into A&E. I rushed home from work and took her
straight to the hospital.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">She had a wait in A&E but luckily nowhere near as bad as
has been recently printed in the press and blood was taken, she had a chest x-ray and
an ECG both of which were ‘normal’ however the ECG only shows your heart as it
is at the time of the test and unless anything has happened that permanently
affects your heart, it doesn’t necessarily show if you have had a heart attack. Lucy also has an Apple watch and as she wears this loads it recorded all the times she was in pain and showed the effect on her pulse and blood pressure. This was great to be able to show the consultant this data so there was evidence of the attacks - how clever and who would have known how useful this watch would have been! </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The
nurses struggled and kept
misgendering her but to be honest we just wanted her checked over. The
consultant was great, didn't misgender her once, and moved Lucy into a private room in A&E where he
checked for asthma as well which was negative. One lot of blood tests
where they were checking for infection came back clear so he came and sat with
us and said he was waiting for one more set of blood results to come back. If they were negative he would let her go home but book her in to the
cardiac clinic so they could do 24 hour monitoring and hopefully find out the
cause of the pain.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The final blood test was for a cardiac enzyme called
Troponin which indicates damage to the heart muscle. The level of Troponin
indicates the level and potentially number of heart attacks and the consultant explained that based on
Lucy’s level she had been having numerous heart attacks over the previous 3
weeks, more than likely each time she had experienced chest pain, and that she would
have to be kept in as it was too dangerous to send her home. It was estimated that
at this point she had probably had 40 attacks, morbidly amusing that she had
probably had 30 at the point the GP nurse gave her the 1.8% risk score and a
further 10 or so after! <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">It was a long wait for a bed in a ward. While we were
waiting a head paramedic came into the room, introduced himself and loudly pronounced </span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span>that he had
been appointed (we think he is some sort of self appointed ‘expert’) to come
and speak to us and he has in his words…. dealt with many sex change people and
non binary people, male to female, female to male…. <span> </span>And that he was <u>“the only one that can deal
with people like her”.</u> This chap was in your face and so loud and just kept
going on and on about his own ‘sex change expertise’ and that he was there to
discuss the ward situation. Lucy had to put him right on his terminology and
said that he obviously meant ‘transgendered’ not sex change. To be honest we
were shocked at his attitude as although the nursing staff may have misgendered
Lucy on and off, none of them had had any issues in discussing the situation
with us so we didn’t see the need for him to be there as we would have been
comfortable having the conversation with the staff we had already met. <u>He
told us that we had no choice of ward</u> and that as Lucy was pre-op and still
had ‘her bits’ that she would have to go to a male ward<u> just like it would
be if she was sent to prison she would be in a male prison</u>. I kid you not!
This was the comparison and conversation! There was no mention about her other
body changes due to hormones. To be honest we were both reeling from what he
had said and how he had said it (bearing in mind Lucy was also seriously
unwell) and when we expressed concern about her being on a male ward (this
wouldn’t have been our first choice) with a female name above her bed all he
said was that we could come up with a nickname she could use instead! Well the
only nickname I have for Lucy is ‘babe’ and don’t think that would look great
on a male ward so we came up with something derived from our surname to be used
but that is not what Lucy is known as! At no point was any other bed option or
individual room discussed – we were not given any choice.</span></span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">
</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">It wasn’t until much later Lucy was moved to the ward and unfortunately
the same paramedic guy moved her and when they arrived announced in a loud voice
that he needed to speak to the ward sister where he loudly explained Lucy’s
situation which could have been overheard by anyone. She then loudly called a
meeting of all the nursing staff and again indiscreetly related Lucy’s
circumstances. Luckily this ward was full of deaf old men or every word would have
been heard. Poor Lucy was cringing.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">She was put in a bed next to the window with the
chosen nickname on the board by her bed. The nursing staff tried but they kept
misgendering her (probably as she was on a male ward) and one of the old men in
the bed opposite Lucy chatted with another patient about he was sure it was a woman in the
bed opposite and commented on how long Lucy’s hair was. As you can imagine Lucy didn’t feel
particularly comfortable and I had to bring in the handful of male-ish clothes she
still has as we just didn’t want to draw any further attention to her.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">They did further blood tests (having problems in getting any blood out each time) which still showed the Troponin level as very high. The cardiac
consultant said that she needed an angiogram but they also were certain that
she would definitely need stents which could be done at the same time however
this particular hospital couldn’t do the stents so she would need to be moved
to one of 2 hospitals with the speciality to do this. No point putting her through the same procedure twice when they thought they knew what needed to be done. Neither of the 2 hospitals are particularly local to us (furthest was 25 miles away however that one is in the road next to where I work). In the
meantime they moved her to a proper cardiac ward….. male of course! They were
waiting for a bed to become free at either of the other hospitals and they said
there was one patient in more need ahead of Lucy but it should be soon.
Unfortunately days came and went, I was up the hospital every day spending time
with Lucy, balancing life at home, doing her washing everyday (limited ‘male’
clothing) and making sure she had everything she needed but she still wasn’t moved
and Christmas Day was looming.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">We asked one set of nursing staff if there was any chance
Lucy could come home for a few hours on Christmas day. They didn’t think there
would be too much of a problem as she was now on all sorts of medication and
although still getting attacks they were less frequent and less intense. They said that
they would need to speak to a cardiac consultant and let her know. Christmas
Day came and Lucy had a Christmas Dinner at lunchtime before we got there. Yum!</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnWWdO3clZic9IAuwWhiUXVTzSvWsqx5x-z4IxPKmgU2bDPg7I0aJJ-KbaGOdPyRAA64pbNg7AgvLBMOemNyZQ7tzVyNw8BfEKeaupGNLGmbsVCJEF9nJvl90QagunOX5qf125zC65lg_9/s1600/25626763_557268391291365_7998156825465253553_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1440" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnWWdO3clZic9IAuwWhiUXVTzSvWsqx5x-z4IxPKmgU2bDPg7I0aJJ-KbaGOdPyRAA64pbNg7AgvLBMOemNyZQ7tzVyNw8BfEKeaupGNLGmbsVCJEF9nJvl90QagunOX5qf125zC65lg_9/s400/25626763_557268391291365_7998156825465253553_o.jpg" width="400" /></a></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I went to the hospital with our daughter and took some presents, Christmas
hats, tinsel, games and bottle of Bucks Fizz. We had to make the best of a
horrid situation. We again asked the nursing staff on duty if she could come
home for a few hours and they said that they couldn’t let her go without a
cardiac consultant’s agreement and that was never going to happen as none of
them would be available until 27</span><sup style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">th</sup><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> Dec due to staff absences. Lucy
was gutted as you can imagine however we had no choice and I wanted her to be
safe but we did feel the previous staff should have just said no rather than raise our hopes. I couldn’t take all her presents up to her as they are all girlie however
I did take up Lola the Lion which was a large cuddly stuffed toy she had been
eyeing up when we had gone Christmas shopping and I had gone back and bought. Lucy loved her and she became her hospital
mascot and was with her all the time.</span></span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMFjn8hz09341SsMYfmFpPG6vyer3HMYY3EjAo_FwxHa4Itkf0zW8xfYpvW61gTtFV10koe-1qFeTtynfTXsiBzvnSdENXzZe0l8GdHp-xDI5MFfCSAsL_Mil8fqWBQWCz3B3OGfWIZTDt/s1600/26023829_557852824566255_4035954430376587803_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="720" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMFjn8hz09341SsMYfmFpPG6vyer3HMYY3EjAo_FwxHa4Itkf0zW8xfYpvW61gTtFV10koe-1qFeTtynfTXsiBzvnSdENXzZe0l8GdHp-xDI5MFfCSAsL_Mil8fqWBQWCz3B3OGfWIZTDt/s320/26023829_557852824566255_4035954430376587803_o.jpg" width="179" /></a></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">This was a completely frustrating and draining time. The
Christmas period came and went and we made the best of it under the
circumstances. We were both worried….. what if there was a big attack just
waiting round the corner, how bad was the damage to her heart (we wouldn’t know
until she had the angiogram), the surgery carried a risk of further heart
attacks and stroke…. what if she died……. The emotional impact on us both was
huge and I missed her so much not being at home. In 17 years together we have not spent
much time apart and if you know Lucy, she is a larger than life character so
left a huge hole in our home life as well as an empty side of the bed. Despite all the misgendering one of the nurses was very friendly and had asked Lucy some questions so Lucy showed her photos of us out and about. She was very complimentary.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Eventually Lucy was moved on the evening of 27<sup>th</sup>
Dec over to the hospital next to my work with a view to them operating the
following day. She was blue-lighted over in an ambulance and arrived in the
cardiac ward, male of course, with Lucy written on the board above her bed……
she got that changed before anyone noticed and the nickname was back. The
misgendering continued but by this time we were just shrugging it off. In the morning I popped in before work to see
her. She was quite distressed as they had tried 5 times to get a cannula in her
arm but they had been struggling and due to the continual blood tests her arms
looked like bruised pin cushions and her tummy was just as bad as they were
giving her a blood thinning injection every day. She was scared about the
operation, I was scared for her too but managed to hold it together until I had
left her….. so many tears had been shed by us both…….<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Eventually on the 6th attempt the cannula was in but she did not get taken down for surgery until late in the afternoon. When I turned up to see her she was still not back so waited so I could be there
for her. About 45 minutes later she was wheeled back. It had all been done with a small amount of sedation she was able to watch it all on a screen. What was
amazing was that all of this had been carried out via a 5mm cut on her right
wrist where they had fed a wire (and stents) up into the arteries of the heart.
Bloody amazing! She had 2 stents put in 1 artery however needs to go back in 4
weeks (25<sup>th</sup> Jan) for another stent in another artery which they did
not do at the time. While I was there they came and did an echo (heart scan)
which was amazing and I could see all the valves of her heart and watch her
heart pumping away. <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">A nurse came and said that there was a possibility that she could
go home later that evening once the cardiac consultant had given the okay. Well
that was the news we wanted to hear and I was back at 8.30pm to bring her home.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The day after she come home we had our Christmas dinner. Not the same as having a Christmas Dinner on Christmas Day but made sure she had everything and all the trimmings. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1NYIG_W2zVIkxuN9YlNIs_8boXb1ZW79Q6PC2-Ys4E8ZlNnz_fIjHnM3JFRdLZP54UwY29LiAoZsa2YKfmuefQWUVZV2YkQmBwVrqoHGaoP4CI26pln9lQotUT3iwvcWY_A6MO8Rr7DNH/s1600/26055585_10155020005142213_2800748453640034024_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="960" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1NYIG_W2zVIkxuN9YlNIs_8boXb1ZW79Q6PC2-Ys4E8ZlNnz_fIjHnM3JFRdLZP54UwY29LiAoZsa2YKfmuefQWUVZV2YkQmBwVrqoHGaoP4CI26pln9lQotUT3iwvcWY_A6MO8Rr7DNH/s400/26055585_10155020005142213_2800748453640034024_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">She is also on so much medication I have bought her a tablet box so she knows what she is taken and when. Trying to make it as easy as possible.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjR8go73UHUZK0nPmXQfZXYdasCLqapNOxgF6PeH_p8OGXeKlpgz4MqCyh1UvHDcA9nkjoxBA7BBLYKoXxEe_hmFotGeRNs8zBsPR3rnElHdgAaQ-T6CdvEvzrc5ULjTyIrmD4HwRBnDZKX/s1600/26171629_10155017784557213_6592697885185168108_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1440" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjR8go73UHUZK0nPmXQfZXYdasCLqapNOxgF6PeH_p8OGXeKlpgz4MqCyh1UvHDcA9nkjoxBA7BBLYKoXxEe_hmFotGeRNs8zBsPR3rnElHdgAaQ-T6CdvEvzrc5ULjTyIrmD4HwRBnDZKX/s320/26171629_10155017784557213_6592697885185168108_o.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I would like to say she is out of pain and feeling better but at the moment she is still getting pains every day but generally only once a day and no where near as bad as before. She has a GNT spray that stops them developing into anything else but is still very breathless and not sleeping well despite taking sleeping tablets. We are looking forward to 25</span><sup style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">th</sup><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> January where hopefully the final stent will resolve these issues however any recovery goes back to day 1.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">It is hard to tell if all this has been caused by her being
on HRT, is genetic or is just one of those things. She came off the patches
while she was in hospital but is back using them again now. I just want her to
get back to full health.</span><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">And yes, we are going to raise the subject of how to treat a transgender patient with the hospital involved......</span></span></span></div>
Avril Clarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16563764797328640219noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485234340783571335.post-30226445546425600482017-12-08T11:12:00.000+00:002017-12-08T11:14:40.398+00:00Hair, hormones and Transliving<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>Hair</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Lucy has been growing her natural hair for nearly a year now. It is longer than shoulder length and VERY curly! So curly in fact that it is growing out sidewards rather than down. This is mainly because she has not had it cut at all so it has no shape or style. I know the feeling when you want to grow your hair and don't want to cut it but it would look so much better after a trim. She is also constantly wearing baseball caps to try and hide it - she must have 15 of these piled round the house. I have to admit I'm really not a fan of her wearing these, they just flatten the hair on top to her head and make it even more bushy on the sides. They will also be rubbing her hair which is not good when you are trying to grow it!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I have been nagging her to have it cut. She could have used my hairdresser who has her own hair salon at home but Lucy was worried about her reaction (I'm sure she will be fine) and also she may say something to her son who goes to the same school as our daughter. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Last week we both took a day off for Christmas shopping and spent the day together. We went to Lakeside Shopping Centre which is a huge shopping complex about 45 mins from home (it took 2.5 hours to get there on the day but that's another story). We were walking around and we saw a Supercuts salon and we hovered outside for a bit with Lucy umming and ahhing about going in and having her hair cut. I could see she was nervous, even though the salon was empty. Anyway she chickened out and we walked away. She admitted that she had been really tempted but was feeling very nervous. About an hour or so later we found ourselves back at the salon where she plucked up enough courage to go in. We had a rushed whispered conversation where I told her she needed to tell the stylist her situation as the last thing she wanted was a 'mans' cut after spending all this time growing it. The receptionist said that they would take off about an inch and we both said' noooooo' and that the smallest amount needed to be cut off.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The salon was still empty and she sat down in the chair and an older stylist came to cut her hair. I saw them having a whispered conversation and knew that she was telling the stylist her situation. This lady gave Lucy a really lovely cut and style and there was minimal hair on the floor. It now looks so much better and she is wearing the baseball caps less when I am around which is great. It has a lovely style to it and I know she is pleased with it. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>Hormones</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I previously mentioned that the GIC had now taken over the hormone treatment using shared care with our GP. She was switched from patches which her skin was reacting very badly to, over to tablets. She has been on the tablets for about 6 weeks and last week started to suffer severe sleeplessness and was waking up in the night with bad chest pains and pain in both her arms. As you can imagine we were both really worried about these episodes. She made an appointment with her GP this week who checked her out. He didn't seem to think it was heart related as it was not happening when she was being active (she referees football several times a week and carries around all the dj gear although her muscle strength is not what it used to be) and he suspected it was a reaction to the tablets. He has now prescribed gel which she has been on for 4 days now and the chest and arm pains have gone, and she is sleeping a bit better. She has a full medical check up next week as well which was already booked. It was a bit of a scary time.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>TransLiving </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">This is a UK based international support group and lifestyle magazine for the cross dressing and transgendered community, <a href="http://www.transliving.co.uk/">www.transliving.co.uk</a></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">. TransLiving International is an established group within the Transgender community with members all over the world. They publish TransLiving magazine in printed and digital format on a quarterly basis and have a regular feature called 'Partners' Corner'. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">A little while ago a friend of mine (thanks Amy!) noticed they were looking for a partner to contribute for their next edition and she thought it would be something that would interest me. I messaged the editor to find out exactly what they were looking for and I was given a very brief outline. Basically anything goes, they just wanted something from a partners prospective and wanted 1,200 words. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I was more than happy to do this but wasn't sure how Lucy would feel about it. As we now have quite a few people we actually know in real life that read my blog now I am more careful with what I write. For me it is writing about our situation and our life together but for Lucy this is private details about her life and transition I write about. She does read all my blog posts and so far has been okay with everything but I just want to make sure I don't step over the line. I wrote something up and actually had problems getting the word count down, unlike the essays I used to write for school where I always had trouble reaching the word count required! In the end after cutting it down it was 1,300 words but I was assured by the editor this was fine and then he mentioned not to forget the pictures.... pictures??.... no one had said anything about pictures! Lucy read it over and was okay with what I had written. Then I dropped the bombshell that they wanted pictures....... we have hundreds of pictures on both our Facebook profiles however only friends can see them and we have the odd one or ten (!) on the Pinks official photo page but nothing else out in the public domain. This was a big deal.... </span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I'm the identifiable person and Lucy looks nothing like the male mask she wears but would be identified by association with me</span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> .... </span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">what if someone we knew but didn't know about Lucy saw them..... but thinking realistically if someone we did know saw the pictures in a transgender publication, to confront us with them they would have to out themselves. I think the risk is minimal and in any case she is going full time in the next month or so.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">So, the digital TransLiving magazine edition 58 was published yesterday and is available, for a fee, <a href="http://www.transliving.co.uk/purchase_one.html" target="_blank">here</a>. Page 70 is Partners' Corner. You can also subscribe to to one or more edition in digital or paper format. My printed magazine should arrive next week. Lucy has downloaded already and her reaction was 'oh gawd'!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>Avril Clarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16563764797328640219noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485234340783571335.post-84770151164803518422017-12-01T11:56:00.002+00:002017-12-01T11:56:59.713+00:00So, my boys met Lucy<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As you are aware, my final 2 sons and their girlfriends were eager to meet Lucy. We sorted out a date when we could all go together to Pinks and had hotel rooms at the Doubletree next to each other.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Due to work commitments they arrived much later than we did so by the time they were ready we had already been out for a meal at TGI Fridays with our friend Paulette. We made our way back to the hotel bar to meet them all where they were all waiting, drinks in hand.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Lucy peeked through the window and waved and they all got up and came to meet her and gave her a hug. It was quite an emotional moment but also very euphoric. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We all sat together chatting and they were introduced to Paulette and once all the drinks were finished it was time to take them to Pinks.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When we walked in there were lots of people we knew and we introduced everyone. We showed them all round the place and of course the famous pink room and they all thought it was great. We ended up back down by the open fires for a bit and Lucy sat with the girlfriends who were asking some relevant questions and having girly chats. It was nice that they were all interacting with Lucy like they had known her forever (well they have, but just not looking like Lucy).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We all went round to the various dance floors and settled into our usual ground floor spot where we partied away the rest of the evening. Drinks were flowing and it was really fantastic to see everyone relaxing and having a totally fun time. My youngest sons girlfriend has only been seeing him for a year and a half and it was the first time we had seen her truly let her hair down and what a fun girl she is, so perfect for my son, just like the other girlfriend and wife of my other 2 sons. We just had great fun with lots of laughter, dancing and of course lots and lots of pictures and videos.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This was probably one of the best nights we have ever had at Pinks along with the times when my eldest son, his wife and my daughter came with us. I am so proud of all their reactions and positive attitude towards to Lucy. Of course I will take a little credit for the adults they have turned out to be and I am obviously so proud of them anyway with the achievements they have made in their own lives, but also credit to them all personally for being the open minded, non judgemental and loving people they are and for picking partners who feel the same.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Avril Clarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16563764797328640219noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485234340783571335.post-91199323093789797752017-11-08T15:47:00.001+00:002017-11-08T15:47:40.094+00:00Lucy so far....... 13 months on HRT<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">At last the GIC have written to our GP. It took quite a few weeks from the last appointment back in July and the further delays as her GP wanted her to come in to discuss the treatment and have her blood pressure taken. It was easy for this GP to blithely tell Lucy to make an appointment but trying to get one with any specific GP at our practice is a nightmare and if you are lucky you may get one in a few weeks time. After 2 weeks of trying to get an appointment with the specific GP, Lucy rung him and said that she had be unable to get an appointment with him and was desperate to get the new medication. Lo and behold he sorted out an appointment for the Lucy the next day.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">After the GIC appointment she also had a blood test and the results were great and have put her in well into the ranges she was looking to achieve. I'm still waiting for all the big mood swings that everyone keeps talking about but she seems to be exactly the same as she always been with the exception of a couple of spiky moments which are not too bad.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Lucy had asked the GIC to prescribe oestrogen in tablet format (6mg) as she was having reactions to the patches. It didn't matter where we put the patches they would end up irritating her and making her skin itchy and sore plus she did have a habit of leaving a sticky residue anywhere she sat when she wasn't dressed. We had a few friends advise that tablet was not the best format and that patches (or injectable format which is not available in the UK) were better but due to the reaction she was having tablets was her preferred option. The GP took her blood pressure and all was ok and Lucy walked away with her tablets.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">There does not seemed to have been any effect on her changing the hormone source. Everything is continuing to change at the same pace and the changes are still happening. She has got herself into a routine with taking the tablets at the same time every day so at the moment everything is all good. Roll on February 2018 for her pre-op consultation.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Lucy has also started her electrolysis and laser hair removal treatment on her face and has already had 2 sessions of each and a third session tomorrow. She hates the fact that she cannot shave for 24 hours before and what doesnt help is the hair on her face is one of the things she is most dysphoric about. As she has both treatments on the same day and shortly after each other, she manages to have a cup of tea and a shave before going for her laser treatment. She purchased the emular cream which has to be put on her skin an hour before the electrolysis which she says does help however she finds the electrolysis so far to be much less painful than the laser treatment. Apparently it is something to do with the density of the hair root which makes the laser painful. This makes sense as at home we have an IPL that we both use on our faces and I have it on the highest setting and it gives me no pain at all whereas for Lucy she cannot use the highest setting as it hurts too much so we are presuming that my hair root is less dense (I would just like to point out that I do not have a very hairy face, just those odd irritating hairs that you get).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Her hair is getting very long and curly. The longer it gets the straighter the top bit is probably partly because she wears baseball caps during the day and her hair comes out sideways underneath. The thinning patch is disappearing although the new hair is still quite fine and a lighter colour to the rest of her hair. I had been on at her for ages about letting me dye her hair as it would make the patch less visible and she eventually agreed. I bought a dark brown dye as her hair is naturally quite dark (or used to be) and put it on for the required time. I have been dying my own hair for years using professional dyes and quite often dye my friends hair for them so I knew what I was doing..... or so I thought! I had forgotten that as this was the first time her hair had ever been dyed and was virgin hair (ooeer) that it would take very well and of course it did. Only problem was that it was so dark brown that it almost looked black! It certainly was a bit of a shock when we first saw it but as I had thought, the thinning patch was even less visible so that was good news. She was worried about friends and people at football noticing however it has been over 3 weeks now and only 2 people have said anything and none of it bad. It has also faded a little and now looks a very dark brown which to be honest matches the hair colour of the hair she uses anyway and we have all got used to it. It couldn't have been that bad or there would have been more comments especially when she was refereeing. It will need to be done again soon however she wants something less dark so watch this space.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">As her hair is now so long and full-time is looming (date yet still TBA!) this does mean we can start looking at the option of extensions to give her the look she wants. I'm not sure how she will cope with them as she struggles to brush and wash the wigs she has without my help and it will be harder when it is extensions attached on her head. She also does not have a lot of patience and gets defeatist when it is not going how she wants.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">13 months on HRT and counting.......</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>Avril Clarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16563764797328640219noreply@blogger.com0