Friday, 6 November 2015

First friends told

As you have probably noticed some of the earlier posts on this blog have been to update on historical events leading to where we are today. Some key moments involve a handful of close friends of mine, one a childhood lifelong friend and another who I have known for very many years and my oldest daughters best friend. All of these I trust implicitly.

I'm not sure and cannot really remember the exact reason for telling my two friends. I know that I was so proud of 'him' for confiding and sharing with me his biggest secret. I did feel a need to tell people that knew me and him well to give support. They both have known about Lucy for at least 8 years.

I would not describe my oldest friend as being worldy wise, she has not been in a relationship for many years and does not have children so in many ways we are worlds apart however I did confide in her several years after I knew. She was very curious and although she said she understood the situation I really don't think she ever understood the seriousness until only last week. In the past she had been out with us partying a couple of times, to Pink Punters and to Transmission. Actually at Pink Punters she shocked me and Lucy as she ended up snogging a trans woman which was totally unexpected from this particular friend. Although recently we (Lucy and I) have updated her on the situation, as I had not mentioned anything for a few years she thought 'it had gone away'. It was this comment that made me realise she had no understanding of what it meant to be transgendered or how Lucy had been feeling despite previous conversations. At the moment she is still surprised that Lucy wants to transition fully and is taking time to comprehend it all.

My other friend in many ways is very similar to me in the way she thinks and her outlook on the world. She has never tried to pigeon hole anything and has always asked lots of questions about Lucy but also about me. It was lovely having someone just checking I was ok (which I was and am) and considering the impact all this could have on me. She is also the only person (other and my gorgeous Lucy of course) with whom I can truly be myself and can talk about things very intimate without being embarrassed or feeling I am being judged or someone just not understanding where I am coming from. Although she does not live locally I recently sent her a one line message which ended up in an hour or so telephone conversation. She has always totally understood Lucy, the way she feels but understands my feelings too. She is just brilliant and supportive and I know she will be there for us both on this journey.

My eldest daughter also has a best friend who she has known since she was 4 years old. After finding out about Lucy she wanted to share with this friend as she knew she would be supportive to both Lucy and myself and could be another person to be there for Lucy (also she is a bit of a party person too would be another person to come out and about with us). Although I was happy with this lovely young lady knowing as I had known her for 15 years, it took a bit longer for Lucy. This was a huge secret that was being put on a 19 year olds shoulders and if it came out before we were ready and prepared it could ruin certain relationships. Anyway eventually Lucy agreed and she was allowed to be told. Since then this friend has added Lucy on Facebook and Snapchat and Lucy feels much more comfortable about her knowing.

Last week when we were arranging for Lucy's name change via deed poll we decided we would host a girls night where my daughters friend and my oldest friend could come over and meet Lucy and also sign the documents for us. It was a fab night as we all dressed up, slapped on the make up and then ate and drunk loads. My son came home from work and was amused to see us all and dived in and ate some of the food. He is very accepting of Lucy which is great. A good fun night that ended up with some Just Dance sessions and I went to work the next day knackered but happy only having had 3 hours sleep.

Lucy and I had already booked a night out in December to go back to Pink Punters and now my daughter and her friend and my childhood friend have also booked hotel rooms to come too. With this date booked it just makes Lucy all the more eager to get back out partying.

We are also looking to get out again to Pink Punters for Valentines weekend in 2016 and have just booked the hotel room for 2 nights which will be great fun. We also have already booked a room for 3 nights to attend Sparkle in Manchester in July 2016 It is so exciting having these dates planned. The Sparkle long weekend in particular will be fantastic as Lucy will be able to be dressed all day and all evening and we can go out and about in the day together which we have not been confident enough to do before now.

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