Thursday 29 October 2015

In the beginning

In the beginning it was just me and him...... that's how it started. Second time around for both of us and love at first sight. Soulmates for life and everything just felt so right. 

He was a 'Sarft London geezer' and I was from Surrey. And so the jokes began but it was all great light hearted banter with an enormous amount of love.

It was still early days with snatched moments away from the children, some fun nights out and lots of loving in between. Christmas season was approaching and there were some drunken nights out at work parties that involved an overnight stay in a hotel. It was one of these nights that changed my life forever.......

After an amazing and fun night out we collapsed back in the hotel room. We were buzzing and full of love for each other. Laying on the bed chatting intimately the conversation turned to the clothes I was wearing.... low cut, tight but stretchy mid-length black dress and hold ups. He loved touching what I was wearing and tentatively mentioned that he had 'a thing' about womens clothes. Without hesitation I suggested he put my clothes on. He was incredibly nervous and unsure and little did I know of the pandoras box I was opening. He laid there in my clothes, nervous but happy. A night of incredible passion followed.

Further discussions followed over the next few weeks and once he started to relax more and he started to open up. A feeling of being born in the wrong body, frustrations of the body he had, small incidents being caught as a child by his mother wearing female clothes and being chastised were just a few. It had transpired that he had been full dressing in secret for several years however had been wearing womens underwear for nearly all his life. Through the power of Ebay he had bought lots of clothes.... and hair! I was the first person he had ever confided in and no-one else had a clue. Even at this point I appreciated what an incredible risk he had taken in telling me. It all could have gone so terribly wrong.

Luckily I had been brought up in a very open family and mum had worked in the rag trade in the West End in the 1950/60's and had seen lots of different and eclectic people and passed this openess to us children. In my teens one of my friends was a M2F trans who was going through transition and throughout my life the whole spectrum of LGBT seemed to gravitate towards me. How did I feel?...... surprised, yes...... curious, yes...... shocked, no...... and my head was whirling but I still had no idea of what the future may hold or where we would go from here. All I knew was that I loved this man with all of me and would support him in anyway I could.

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