Pinterest and more

I did use Pinterest before but in a casual way and only for the usual boring stuff like garden design, meal ideas etc. In truth though it is quite a natty little tool for keepings lots of web page links in one easily identifiable place and as you have pictures too it is easy to navigate.

Lucy has started using it more recently for makeup tips, clothes and links to transgendered relevant stuff. So I have now created a new profile on there and am using it to save stuff that is relevant to our transgendered life. As well as searching for pins in the app itself, I’m still learning all the things I can discover outside of Pinterest and ‘pin’ to my boards. My Pinterest I'm getting there slowly but surely.

It is quite amazing how many other people have pinned links to very interesting articles, blogs and web pages and it has opened a whole new information pool for me and better in many ways than bookmarking a webpage. I do like reading articles and blogs about other wives/partners in the same position as me although in many instances they don’t seem to have the same relationship as I do with Lucy or see things from a different viewpoint to how I see things. I think that I have been very lucky that Lucy confided in me very early in our relationship so I did not have the shock of living with a ‘man’ for many years only to find out he had been keeping a huge secret from me and behaving differently behind my back. I am very grateful that I have nearly always known about Lucy. However it is always good to understand about the challenges that other people are facing.

Of course too I like to read the transgendered persons story and see if there are any parallels to Lucy or if there is anything we need to take on board. This also helps me understand more how I can support her in this long journey she is taking but also how she can support me too. There will be huge changes to our lives yet to come and many challenges along the way which we will fight together as one. To be fair, Lucy is way ahead of me on this one and anything I usually mention she has read or thought about ages ago.

One of the pins that Lucy had found which was about body shape which gave us a bit of a giggle. Apparently Lucy is a ‘strawberry’ shape….. I didn’t bother doing the test and told her that if she was strawberry I must be an orange!! Ha ha!

Some of the makeup pins have been very interesting too. Being cis-female I have been doing makeup from as long as I can remember however my own mother did not have much choice of makeup, usually blue eye shadow, mascara and bright red lipstick (which I used to really love the smell of) and whenever I did my own makeup she never said it looked nice and no matter how old I was she would tell me I looked like a clown. Very good for confidence - not!

Length of years doing makeup does not necessarily mean that I am any good. When I was a teenager there was a thing you could subscribe to and every week you would get sent some facts sheets to put into a folder along with 2 or more bits of makeup for you to try whatever it was for that week. This was great and over months it built into an A5 size folder encyclopaedia. Over the years I have seen many different trends in makeup as well and there is always something new to learn. As previously mentioned on other posts our older daughter has studied makeup at college and is excellent and Lucy and I have both learnt makeup tips from her but there is so much more out there. This is where Pinterest and You Tube are very good. You Tube for the action demonstrations and Pinterest for charts about colours and design.

I have always wanted to wear fake eyelashes and have tried them on and off over the years with little success and usually ended up with the eyelash stuck half way on my eyelid… not a good look I can tell you!! If you don’t get it right it also messes up all your makeup too as you have to apply them last after everything else is done including mascara. Last year with some perseverance I at long last seem to have got the knack. If I am going anywhere special or am out partying with Lucy then I always wear them (annoyingly she has naturally gorgeous long eyelashes that only need a bit of mascara to show them off!). I still have the occasional panic if they don’t look like they are sticking in the right place. The first time I wore them I could feel them and see black feathery bits over my eyes which was really annoying. Once I get them on these days I forget I’m even wearing them. I am also amazed that no matter how tired or inebriated (ha ha) I am when I go to bed I still manage to take them off. There is such a huge choice and it looks like a total minefield but when you find a style you like it is best to stick with them but also remember that usually they will need to be cut down so they fit your eye lid size and shape. The most popular ones are sold in multi packs which is more economical even though they can be reused several times before being discarded. For me I prefer the type that thicken and slightly lengthen my lash rather than the outrageous.

 

Thursday musings 14th Jan 2016

Sometimes being the partner of someone who is transgendered makes you feel like you are in some sort of bubble and I think about it a lot. These early transition days can be quite hard especially if there are people close to you that are not aware of the situation. At home it is our youngest daughter who is 13 that does not know. To me Lucy is Lucy no matter how she is dressed and it is hard to pick the right pronoun at the right time. Lucy always raises an eyebrow when I get it wrong but a lot of the time I’m swapping between them depending who is in earshot. She also hates her male birth name being used at all now so as I cannot openly call her Lucy at home I generally call her ‘babe’ but there are times when this does not feel appropriate and I feel I should be using her name. For years we had affectionate banter around me calling her my husband however now that is not appropriate either. At this point in time she is not really my husband any more but neither is she my wife. She is my ‘person’ but that that doesn’t sound right either. And then when you are out or surrounded by people outside the home who also are not aware of the situation then I do refer to Lucy as her male birth name and refer to her as being my husband which does not feel right either. All just is so confusing as I’m continually swapping between him and her. I really cannot wait for the time when everyone knows about Lucy and there is no reason for whispered conversations, knowing looks between us and no more worrying about secrets being discovered.

Yesterday Lucy went to the GP surgery for a blood test which was requested by the GIC. She went on her own for this appointment and was starving as it was a fasting blood test so no eating for 14 hours. The nurse did not have any notes as to what the blood test was for so Lucy hot footed back to the car to get the form the GP had passed to her. From this they were able to work out what bloods were needed and arranged for the results to be sent back to the GP rather than the GIC. Lucy has a medical booked with the GP next week and all the results should be back by then. Lucy said that the nurse was very good, did not show any surprised expressions or anything and also wished her good luck. Let’s hope that all professionals we meet in future are like this. This blood test is one more step taking her closer to full transition. Little steps one at a time…….

We do seem to be so much closer than ever which seems impossible as we were always so very close. I sometimes feel overwhelmed with how much I love this person and do think about her all the time. She works nights and I work days so any time together is always precious. We have always been very affectionate with each other and love grabbing a kiss and cuddle when just doing everyday things. Think we had spent so much time being knackered or being scared to waking the other person up that the bedtime cuddles didn’t happen so much and as we are generally not around at the same time in the evening there was very little cuddling on the sofa watching TV. These days we don’t care and have so many more cuddles and I love nothing more than snuggling up with Lucy or holding her in my arms. I tell her many, many times every day how much I love and miss her…. So many times that I worry that she will get bored with it but she assures me she never will.

Think at the moment we are still on a high from Friday night at Pink Punters and both of us cannot wait to go back in February. It truly was such a great and fun night out. After my comment about couples dressing the same we had a little laugh as we didn't realise until we had got to the hotel that we were wearing very similar clothes.... blue skinny jeans and Chelsea boots..... not intentional at all but mildly amusing. Being with Lucy has not changed my dress style however being with her and going to non judgemental clubs etc enable me to be more confident wearing more sexy type of clothes and not made to feel I am mutton dressed as lamb.

Pink Punters 8th Jan 2016

Well what a totally amazing night this ended up being. Probably one of the best nights we have had out together and full funny incidents.

The 8th Jan was one of Pink Punters Big Night Out events in conjunction with tv Chix (www.tvchix.com). This means that it is primarily a night where lots of trans get together and are in the majority instead of being in the minority compared to other club nights.

As usual we went to the Campanile hotel opposite PP. As it was just the 2 of us, which to be honest I really love, we could get ready in our own time and also spend some time being together being us with no kids around. Lucy can be slow in getting ready too so we had no time limit and not rushing to meet anyone at a specific time. I know Lucy loves having other people go with us however I just love it when it is the 2 of us.

This time as our older daughter was not with us and as Lucy has been very lax in learning how to apply her own makeup, it fell on my shoulders to be the makeup artist for the evening. After getting ready myself, wearing my lovely new playsuit and new sandals (see previous post) I started on Lucy's makeup. I also had a new bag that was not too big but big enough to let me put in some glittery dolly shoes to wear when my feet start to ache later in the evening which they always do. Lucy was not impressed!

When we used to go out years ago it was me that did her makeup for her, the only difference now is that she has a far better box of tricks than she ever had before and a far better range of makeup than me. I still felt a bit under pressure as obviously I have not been professionally trained like our daughter. Despite this both Lucy and I thought I had done a good job. I had also washed her hair for her since the last time we had been out so it was smelling nice and it is mad as it is only when she puts the hair on that my Lucy truly appears in front of me as she should be.

Lucy had a choice of 2 dresses to wear, one a favourite of hers, a Superdry dress and the other the newly bought Batman dress (she also now has matching batman bra and knickers!). She opted for the Superdry dress and knee high pointed black boots. I think we both looked fab even if I say so myself.

After tottering over the road to PP and trying to avoid the muddy grass verge we found that there was no queue at all to get in. Overall there were less people there on this evening however it is probably due to the fact that people are still skint after Christmas. No need for queue jumping this time. We went straight into the usual dance floor. There were a lot of other girls out for the evening, some together with other girls, some with their partners and wives and some just on their own. One observation I noted was that in quite a few cases the girls were dressing and looking like their wives. In one instance they had almost exactly the same matching colour outfits on. Interesting to note as I think years ago in the early days of going out we too dressed and looked very similar but I think that was because Lucy was still discovering herself and her own style. These days we dress completely differently and don't look alike.

We were dancing from the moment we got in there and drinking too. When we are out and about in a club atmosphere we do like a drink. Although the place was not packed it was comfortably busy. There were a couple of girls we recognised from the last time and plenty of friendly faces although another observation I made is that trans girls do seem to blank other girls they do not know. They can walk past each other and not even give a hello smile or a small acknowledgement nod or anything which is weird as when I lock eyes with anyone in life I always give a smile or nod or something. One unusual thing on these specific trans nights which you don't get on a usual PP club night is there are a lot of 'admirers' there too which means the girls do get attention from men. I know this is probably very flattering for the girls however as a partner it can be a little uncomfortable. Lucy attracted her fair share of admirers this evening and I generally let her get on with it as she knows the boundaries and I trust her. As it would happen I was getting attention from a couple of lesbians anyway so was dealing with my own avoidance tactics as it was attention I didn't want especially when one was leaning in for a kiss! 

Halfway through the night Lucy decided that she had got a bit hot and sweaty from all the dancing so we nipped back to the hotel (huge advantage with it being just over the road) and she changed into the batman dress. There was no problem getting back into PP and the night continued. By this time I had made some new friends, several trans girls so we spent time dancing and chatting together and Lucy had befriended a group of CIS girls so was off dancing with them. My feet were killing me in the new sandals so I changed into the dolly shoes much to Lucy's disgust..... she can't speak as she kept taking her boots off and dancing barefooted. We did this last time and it took lots of scrubbing to get all the black off our feet so I wasn't going to risk it this time.

The evening passed with no major dramas and Lucy at this point had managed to hold onto to her purse. She had a new bag which was slightly larger and more secure so nothing could drop out. I have no idea how it happened but I ended up with someone's dress! I don't know how I came to have this dress and ended up wearing it over my playsuit for a short while. No one claimed it so I brought it back with me. Turns out it is the right size for Lucy so guess she will end up with it. We had a laugh about it the following morning as she could not believe I had come home with someone's dress.

God knows what time we got to bed but know it was after 6am. At 10 the room phone rang and it was the hotel reception. There we are thinking Lucy has not lost anything all night and it turns out that as we were coming back in she must have dropped her purse when looking for the room key. Apparently some kind person had found it and handed it in to reception. Yet again all the contents were intact and the cash and cards were untouched. How amazing!

All in all it was a fantastic night. We have the Valentines weekend booked for 12/13 February and will be doing 2 nights. Back in the old days this was something we would regularly do easily but hope we can still do it as we both felt tired the next day however we would not have be up and out of the hotel room with little sleep and would not have the long drive back home until the second day. I sure we will be fine :)

Thursday musings

Sometimes you just get swept away with the tide of life living with someone who is transgendered. Things you consider 'normal life' to many other people would be considered completely abnormal. Sometimes you forget the enormity of the situation even though you are fully aware of the implications and every now and then something just brings it all home.

For example, on Saturday I was browsing in New Look at the sale items and found a playsuit I really loved but it was a size too big. I'm not a tiny person and rarely find anything trendy or non baggy that I like. I went home and found my size in stock online. Lucy was doing an online New Look order so told me to send her the link. Of course when I did and she looked at it she loved it too! However by this time it had gone out of stock.  We went back to the local New Look but by now even the larger size had been sold. So Tuesday ended up being a manic day ringing round to try to get this playsuit in my size. As luck would have it a shop near to work had it so I reserved it and hot footed down at lunchtime to get it. Well that was me sorted but not Lucy and she wanted one too but needed it slightly larger (for her shoulders as everywhere else she is annoyingly smaller than me). So after work I went to Oxford Street in London running round the 2 New Look stores there a long way apart. Unfortunately no luck as could only get smaller sizes however I found another beautiful playsuit in black glittery velvet in the right size so bought this instead. It was gorgeous and Lucy was happy. It was really lovely and fitted me too and looked better than I thought. How many wives would frantically search shops of a ladies item for their 'husband'! Also today I popped into Dorothy Perkins at Victoria station and ended up buying myself some rather lovely glittery sandals in the sale..... oh and a similar pair for Lucy too!

For me this week has also been one of those weeks where the enormity of everything comes to the fore. Probably started by the gold necklace (still not sure on this one yet but do desperately want Lucy to get her horrid tattoos covered so she can wear short sleeved things) but also by another trans friend posting an informative article/video on her Facebook wall.

This article was discussing the surgery needed to change the genitalia from male to female and had an instructive and very detailed diagram/cartoon video. I have seen many programmes over the years about surgery, many internet articles and videos but this was very clear and precise. I have to say I cringed as I watched it all, amazing but so intricate and painful for the patient. Lucy came in halfway through and saw my screwed up face and when she saw what I was watching just commented that she had seen it ages ago and thought it was amazing. She was quite casual about it and all I could think about what a huge change this is going to be for her and me.

We have always had and still have a very close and intimate relationship. That side of things is going to change after she has started hormones and will change dramatically after surgery. As much as I am very comfortable with my sexuality I will miss the male appendage. Even though I know Lucy hates it, we do have fun together. I am determined we will still stay just as intimate and loving but in a different way. The last thing on my mind when I first started dating him all those years ago was a lesbian relationship for the rest of my life.

Christmas 2015 and New Year

Well Christmas was good. He came down and had a handful of presents under the tree all which were very ambiguous. I had told all the family that as 'he' likes to lounge in the bath for hours that Lush bath bombs and bath stuff were a good present to buy. Luckily everyone did, so Lucy now has about 25 bath bombs as well as lots of other lovely bath stuff. Our bedroom smells like a Lush shop which is great!

Anyway, after the presents under the tree were done we snuck away upstairs and I was able to give Lucy all her other presents. Clothes, bags, bath bombs etc and she loved them all.

Lucy had also given me many lovely presents, one of which was an envelope containing booking details for another night at the Campanile which means another night at Pink Punters on 8th Jan. Yes!! I was so happy!

Christmas day passed well and we went over to Lucy's oldest sons flat for dinner which was lovely (and also meant that I didn't cook). A nice afternoon and evening and was the first of the children to invite us over for Christmas dinner ever.

The big day for us was boxing day when all our kids and their partners came to us for presents, dinner and games. All was going well until one of the kids mentioned the Kardasians at the dinner table and the conversation inevitably turned to Caitlyn Jenner. It turns out that Lucy's eldest son has very negative point of view about trans, has no understanding or knowledge about transgendered issues and what it means. Quite an exchange of words about Caitlyn and being trans ensued between him, a couple of others and me. I couldn't help but try to counter the conversation and eventually backed off as I was getting too involved and Lucy had left the room as she didn't want to hear all that was being said. I know I should have said nothing, but even before Lucy & Abby I had strong views about trans. When I was 15 one of my guy friends transitioned over several years to a woman. It is obvious that this son is definitely going to have his eyes opened when he eventually is told about Lucy (we will be telling all the kids when the time is right for us.... no more discoveries). Then he will have first hand knowledge and he is intelligent enough that I hope he will understand and be accepting. I was worried that this conversation would make Lucy stall with her transition plans but luckily this has turned out not to be the case. Her son did approach me later in the evening to apologise to me but I explained to him that it is ok to have a difference of opinions and a healthy debate but it doesn't mean either is right with their opinion.

The rest of the evening was brilliant as usual.

The ensuing Christmas celebrations over the next few days were great and nothing notable other than the fact that Lucy was disappointed in not being able to dress as she would do normally and as we were socialising with family was even wearing aftershave! He very rarely ever used any anyway as would rather have been wearing perfume. Lucy wears perfume all the time and has a better collection than me. No surprises there!

'He' is a DJ and on New Years eve was DJing down our local pub as he has done for the past few years. Usually it is not a busy event but this New Years eve it was busy and lively with one engagement announcement and one proposal. Watching him from behind the decks was weird this year. I could see he was there doing all his stuff but to me all I could see was Lucy dressed in baggy males clothes and it just didn't seem right.

At night when Lucy is laying asleep next to me I do like to just lay and look at her. I can see how much she has changed over the last few months and how much happier she is. Her being happy makes me happy.

We heard from the GP Christmas eve as he had received a form back from the GIC which needs to be completed, partially by Lucy and partially by him. Looking at the bits of the form he had marked for Lucy to complete, even though he told us he had referred people to the GIC before, he had marked sections which clearly needed to be completed by him. Lucy has filled in all her relevant bits and now needs to make an appointment to go back and get the rest of the form completed by the GP. Encouraging nonetheless because we know at least the wheels are turning.

Yesterday I got pushed a little off kilter by Lucy. Back in the early days when I only knew him and we had been dating for a few months it was his 30th birthday. I had just got myself a credit card (I had been left with lots of debt by my ex and had worked hard to clear it all so this was a big deal) and the first thing I bought was a gold chain for his birthday. We went up to Hatton Garden and visited several shops before we found the perfect chain. It was not cheap and was the first present I had ever bought him. He wore it all the time and now so does Lucy however now she has the Lucy name chain (the one I bought and nowhere near as expensive as the gold chain) the 2 chains keep getting tangled. She bought an extender for the Lucy chain but it still gets tangled. So.... she casually asks me how I would feel if she was to pawn the gold chain.... I think she kind of knew the reaction I would give and as a sweetener said that the money would go to cover the horrid tattoos she has (I have mentioned these before). Although I can see why she would do this but it is hard letting go of an item that has such sentimental value to me personally. I thought it had the same sentimental value to Lucy but now I don't think so. This is a hard item for me to let go..... there are some times I do feel I am mourning the loss of my man and this is just one of those items that I'm not sure I'm ready to let go of just yet. It is hard to let go even though I have been losing my man since the day I met him. I always knew this was going to be the end game even if Lucy didn't realise it herself. I do fully support Lucy and the transition she is making but this change is not all about her and affects me too and we are making this journey together as a team.

Pink Punters - 20th Dec 2015

Well what a night that was!!! Just can't wait to go back there again.

It all started with a little drama. We had only been driving for 20 mins when our daughters friend realised she had left her passport at home for ID. It was too late to turn back and the last time we had been in Pink Punters our daughter was not asked for ID however as a precaution her friend got her brother to send over a picture of her passport. We could only hope that we were not asked for ID or that this would suffice!

After driving for just under a couple of hours and arriving a bit later than planned (for various reasons) we checked into the Campanile hotel dead opposite Pink Punters, which by the way was totally unmissable with its myriad of fairy lights and colourful lit up signage. Pink Punters (PP) is a LGBT venue in Milton Keynes http://www.pinkpunters.com/ We used to go there quite a lot in the Abby days but this was the first time Lucy has been, along with our daughter and her friend. My friend had been with us before however the whole place has been renovated and enlarged. If you remember this was the place we visited in September as him and her. Although our daughter had also been with us at the time I think that Lucy and her had had too much to drink so when we went in at 2am neither had much recollection of it.

We hadn't had anything to eat and were going to order room service when we noticed a leaflet for take away food delivery right to the hotel; McDonalds, KFC, Pizza Hut to name a few..... So we ordered KFC which was hand delivered within about 30 mins and was great. What a service. We all stuffed our faces in our room washed down with Proscecco which was very yum. We thought it wise to eat bearing in mind we were going to be drinking all night.

Everyone went back to their own rooms to get ready and my daughter arranged to come back a bit later to do Lucy's makeup for her. We both chilled and bathed. At this point Lucy was nervous and excited. We chose the dress she was going to wear, black with silver skulls and long sleeves. Fab dress. The other alternative was a silver dress however when she put it on it looked a bit like tin foil so was discarded for this evening. At this point I gave Lucy one of her Christmas presents early, a silver name necklace. She totally loved it and wore it straight away and has not been taken off since.

When our daugher came back to our room she was buzzing about some trans girls she had met downstairs in the smoking area and how friendly they had been. She has met trans girls before but this was her first proper time going out to a place where she would encounter these sorts of girls. This set her up for the evening and she was looking forward to getting over to the club. She did Lucy's make up brilliantly as usual and Lucy was very happy with the result. Debates were had over the shoes Lucy should wear..... she  had only brought 2 new pairs with her.... not sure that wearing new heels on a long night out was one of the best ideas she had!

Lots of people staying in the hotel were also going to PP. As we walked down the corridor a guy started to come out his room, took one look and then laughing called his mate to come and have a look at the 'girls' walking past. It wasn't in a nice way, however he did not say anything derogatory which is just as well as I would have gone for him. We held our heads high and just walked past him. Even in the LGTB community there can still be small minded people and those who are just plain idiots!

We crossed the road over to the entrance of the club and by this time Lucy had already removed her killer heels. This was an indication as to how it would be for the rest of the evening. There was a queue of about 20 people but the moment the bouncers saw Lucy they fast tracked us all to the front of the queue. We were amazed at the special treatment. The bouncer also accepted the text photo of the passport (I'm sure that was because we were with Lucy) and we walked up the stairs to the club.

There were plenty of people there already and after grabbing our drinks from the bar we walked into the dance floor. This was fairly busy and although we weren't there on a specific trans night there were lots of trans girls around. It didn't take long for us all to start dancing as all the tunes were pretty mainstream. Suffice to say Lucy's shoes were on and off all night and she rarely stopped dancing. She is just so much fun to be out and about with and was just so relaxed being herself. One observation I have made from this night and other times we have been out is that some of the other trans girls are not so relaxed. Several kept checking themselves in the many mirrors situated everywhere and some just seemed to concentrate so hard when dancing and just never looked relaxed. Not my Lucy..... she is a party girl and was just having so much fun. In fact we are both lively people who like having a good time so this wasn't something new. Just seeing her like this made my heart swell with pride and with so much love. I really do love her so much!

She can also be a bit of a nightmare as she kept disappearing off to the other dance floor in the basement which on this night was playing drum and base and is darker and smokier than the upstairs dance floor. In the morning she did not even remember being there however the evidence was clear with the 20+ videos she had taken on her mobile phone! She also was a total mare eyeing up other girls dresses and running after people to find out where their clothes came from. Her particular favourite was a black long sleeved dress with the yellow batman logo printed all over it. She discovered it was from H&M and already she is the proud owner of exactly the same dress.... see what I mean? Nightmare!!

Any night out with Lucy wouldn't pass without a bit of drama. The toilets were unisex and manned by a chap called Martin who was really friendly and nice. As well as keeping the toilets sorted, the flow of people in and out, he was also there for helping with zips and anything else. Well at some point Lucy had managed to leave her purse there containing well over £100 and cards. She didn't notice for some time until we she went to use it and it wasn't in her bag. After a bit of panicking about where it could be she hot footed back to the loos only to find Martin had it with all the contents intact! I'm pretty sure that this wouldn't happen anywhere else. A big up to PP, the people there and the staff!

The club is owned by a chap called Frank and his wife Mary and back in the day we used to be quite friendly with them. We were not sure if they would remember us as it has been 8 years since we were last there. They spend time in the club chatting with everyone which is really great and people get to know them building on the family environment they try to build. Well Frank definitely did remember us.... again where else would that happen? Many owners are just too busy or uninterested in spending time with any of the punters. Not so in PP. Frank even bought us a few drinks.

The drinks seemed to go down really quickly and although we spent a lot of time dancing it did not get too hot and there are aircon units scattered around. There is a smoking terrace which is outside but covered so plenty of space to cool off if you did get too hot as well as areas with lots of open fires in case you got too cold. Everyone was very friendly and there was absolutely no evidence of any trouble. All the different aspects of the communities seemed to gel together, even with the straight people, and there was no uncomfortable moments at all.

The whole evening was fun from start to finish and a great time was had by all. The time just seemed to fly by and before we knew it, it was 6am! Lucy was buzzing all night and I just loved spending this sort of time together with her.

Unfortunately we were so busy having so much fun that we hardly took any pictures. There were 2 or 3 and as it was me that took them there were sadly none of me and Lucy. Once she is fully out to everyone I can't wait to be able to share these pictures as I would do with any of the thousands of pictures I usually take and still will take.

In the morning everyone was a bit bleary eyed but excitedly chatting about the evening, the people that were met, new friends made and plans to return. Lucy and I have already booked to come for a Friday and Saturday night over the Valentines weekend in 2016 and although this is only 7 weeks away it seems like AGES!

Just can't wait to go back and spend some more fun time with my Lucy!

Life goes on

I know sometimes it is a big gap between one post and the other, but life does go on. What we consider to be 'normal' is probably very far removed from many other people's 'normal'.

As mentioned before Lucy is on a spending spree. She is obsessed with dresses it seems and has every type and still buys more!! More turned up today so I rest my case! It is nice tops that she is lacking in, she knows it but just doesn't seem to be drawn to them. She turned up with a dusty pink blouse the other day from Marks and Spencer..... yes it was a very nice blouse.... if you are in your 60's but I could never envisage Lucy in it. She is just such a more trendy dresser. What surprised me even more was that our 19 year old daughter had help her choose it. And they dare to criticise my dress sense!! Well it ended up being taken back and exchanged for a pair of jeans. I wish I could wear the same dresses as her as some of them are very nice but unfortunately she has the better figure and I have too big a 'baby belly' :(



Life for is still full of being secretative. Our 13 year old daughter still does not know about Lucy but she is going to twig on pretty soon. With the official name change completed in all places except the driving licence and passport authorities so it is a rush to make sure one of us gets the post before she gets to it. Lucy has lovely shaped eyebrows these days and is also growing her hair although the hair growing is being debated at the moment as my oldest son is getting married next year and it will be 'him' at the wedding not Lucy so she thinks 'he' should have his usual hair. We will see but after conversations tonight it looks like it is being cut tomorrow. It is all these whispered conversations and things we are still having to hide that make me impatient for people to be told as something will slip up somewhere.

Lucy works nights and I work days which sometimes makes it hard getting time together. We both love the overlap time we have in bed, sometimes a few minutes, sometimes a couple of hours. Just love being with her. Today was particularly hard going out to work and leaving her. She looked so cute in her polkadot nighty and frilly knickers sound asleep on my side of the bed. I was going to lean in and give her a kiss but didn't want to wake her. I was thinking about and missing her all day.

Christmas will be interesting this year. I have bought 2 lots of presents, some for him and more for Lucy so we will have to have some me and Lucy time where she can have her pressies. For him they are pretty much non gender type presents which I can get away with giving in front of others. This year I have managed to stop other people in the family who do not know about Lucy from buying unnecessary and unwanted stuff for 'him'. Everyone knows that he spends hours 'relaxing' (replace relaxing with relaxing, shaving, preening etc) so everyone this time is buying him lots of bubble bath etc and of course the famous bath bombs from Lush! So much more useful and wanted than anything else they could have bought.

Saturday is going to be a big night for us. We are going clubbing for the first time in years to a place we used to go to loads. One of my friends is coming with us, our 19 year old daughter and her best friend. Lucy is very excited about it all as we have had lots of great nights in this place previously although it has all changed now so we will see if it is still such fun. We are having an overnight stay so will all get ready together and have a few drinks before we head off. We have been planning this for a while so hoping it all turns out as expected and will post an update after so watch this space.