Monday, 4 January 2016

Christmas 2015 and New Year

Well Christmas was good. He came down and had a handful of presents under the tree all which were very ambiguous. I had told all the family that as 'he' likes to lounge in the bath for hours that Lush bath bombs and bath stuff were a good present to buy. Luckily everyone did, so Lucy now has about 25 bath bombs as well as lots of other lovely bath stuff. Our bedroom smells like a Lush shop which is great!

Anyway, after the presents under the tree were done we snuck away upstairs and I was able to give Lucy all her other presents. Clothes, bags, bath bombs etc and she loved them all.

Lucy had also given me many lovely presents, one of which was an envelope containing booking details for another night at the Campanile which means another night at Pink Punters on 8th Jan. Yes!! I was so happy!

Christmas day passed well and we went over to Lucy's oldest sons flat for dinner which was lovely (and also meant that I didn't cook). A nice afternoon and evening and was the first of the children to invite us over for Christmas dinner ever.

The big day for us was boxing day when all our kids and their partners came to us for presents, dinner and games. All was going well until one of the kids mentioned the Kardasians at the dinner table and the conversation inevitably turned to Caitlyn Jenner. It turns out that Lucy's eldest son has very negative point of view about trans, has no understanding or knowledge about transgendered issues and what it means. Quite an exchange of words about Caitlyn and being trans ensued between him, a couple of others and me. I couldn't help but try to counter the conversation and eventually backed off as I was getting too involved and Lucy had left the room as she didn't want to hear all that was being said. I know I should have said nothing, but even before Lucy & Abby I had strong views about trans. When I was 15 one of my guy friends transitioned over several years to a woman. It is obvious that this son is definitely going to have his eyes opened when he eventually is told about Lucy (we will be telling all the kids when the time is right for us.... no more discoveries). Then he will have first hand knowledge and he is intelligent enough that I hope he will understand and be accepting. I was worried that this conversation would make Lucy stall with her transition plans but luckily this has turned out not to be the case. Her son did approach me later in the evening to apologise to me but I explained to him that it is ok to have a difference of opinions and a healthy debate but it doesn't mean either is right with their opinion.

The rest of the evening was brilliant as usual.

The ensuing Christmas celebrations over the next few days were great and nothing notable other than the fact that Lucy was disappointed in not being able to dress as she would do normally and as we were socialising with family was even wearing aftershave! He very rarely ever used any anyway as would rather have been wearing perfume. Lucy wears perfume all the time and has a better collection than me. No surprises there!

'He' is a DJ and on New Years eve was DJing down our local pub as he has done for the past few years. Usually it is not a busy event but this New Years eve it was busy and lively with one engagement announcement and one proposal. Watching him from behind the decks was weird this year. I could see he was there doing all his stuff but to me all I could see was Lucy dressed in baggy males clothes and it just didn't seem right.

At night when Lucy is laying asleep next to me I do like to just lay and look at her. I can see how much she has changed over the last few months and how much happier she is. Her being happy makes me happy.

We heard from the GP Christmas eve as he had received a form back from the GIC which needs to be completed, partially by Lucy and partially by him. Looking at the bits of the form he had marked for Lucy to complete, even though he told us he had referred people to the GIC before, he had marked sections which clearly needed to be completed by him. Lucy has filled in all her relevant bits and now needs to make an appointment to go back and get the rest of the form completed by the GP. Encouraging nonetheless because we know at least the wheels are turning.

Yesterday I got pushed a little off kilter by Lucy. Back in the early days when I only knew him and we had been dating for a few months it was his 30th birthday. I had just got myself a credit card (I had been left with lots of debt by my ex and had worked hard to clear it all so this was a big deal) and the first thing I bought was a gold chain for his birthday. We went up to Hatton Garden and visited several shops before we found the perfect chain. It was not cheap and was the first present I had ever bought him. He wore it all the time and now so does Lucy however now she has the Lucy name chain (the one I bought and nowhere near as expensive as the gold chain) the 2 chains keep getting tangled. She bought an extender for the Lucy chain but it still gets tangled. So.... she casually asks me how I would feel if she was to pawn the gold chain.... I think she kind of knew the reaction I would give and as a sweetener said that the money would go to cover the horrid tattoos she has (I have mentioned these before). Although I can see why she would do this but it is hard letting go of an item that has such sentimental value to me personally. I thought it had the same sentimental value to Lucy but now I don't think so. This is a hard item for me to let go..... there are some times I do feel I am mourning the loss of my man and this is just one of those items that I'm not sure I'm ready to let go of just yet. It is hard to let go even though I have been losing my man since the day I met him. I always knew this was going to be the end game even if Lucy didn't realise it herself. I do fully support Lucy and the transition she is making but this change is not all about her and affects me too and we are making this journey together as a team.

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