Ha ha I bet that title got your attention!
We definitely have a change in the breast area.
Despite only having been on the patches for nearly 5 weeks there are noticeable
changes. There is definitely breast tissue starting to form however the biggest
change is in Lucy’s nipples. It feels a bit uncomfortable writing about the
intimate changes in her body but my blog is kind of a diary documenting all the
changes that happen during her transition as well as all the other things in our
lives.
I hadn’t noticed the nipple change until this weekend and I was surprised as this change had happened in a few days. We both know each others bodies well. When I
mentioned it to Lucy of course she had noticed but hadn’t said anything. The
shape hasn’t changed however they are much softer, pinker and slightly larger.
This change is great news as it mean that the patches are taking effect.
There has been so much chat on some forums recently where the patches
have not been working for many people and they have not seen any changes. The
reason given is that the patches give a trickle dose of oestrogen (estrogen for those in the US) rather than a
large hit like the tablets or the injections. Lucy is on the high dose patches
which delivers 100mcg of oestrogen in 24 hours and these seem to be working
fine for her. It will be interesting to see the changes in her oestrogen and
testosterone levels when she next has a blood test.
Exciting times!!
Tuesday, 8 November 2016
Friday, 4 November 2016
People watching
You have probably realised by now, and I have mentioned it a couple of times, I am a people watcher. I love watching people go about their business and living theirs lives and probably none of the people I have observed have even realised that I have noticed them or pondered about their lives as our paths have crossed.
I do it all the time, watching and listening. I can't help it. I find people interesting. Over the years if we have gone out for dinner anywhere Lucy always makes me face the wall or not face out to the main area of a restaurant to stop me doing it otherwise I am there, watching and listening. In all honesty as a general thing there are some face to face, telephone conversations etc that should not have been carried out in such a public place; the girl being accused of cheating, the chaps talking about confidential work information, the person writing performance reviews about individuals, the court papers being read, the personal finance information being discussed but to mention a few.
I work in central London and have a long train journey in as well as a 15 minute tube ride. I pass through 2 main London stations every morning and evening. During the course of my daily work journeys I must pass thousands of people. The people on my train, the people sat on other trains as they pass by, the people crowding to get through ticket barriers, walking through the station concourse and underpasses and of course on the escalators. These are a great place to watch people as they pass by you on the opposite escalator with me observing them as we pass by each other. I have done this particular journey for nearly 7 years.
I love looking at what they are wearing, how they are standing or sitting, what shoes they are wearing, their hair styles, jewellery, hands, nails, how they are interacting with people around them and of course their faces. I look at them and try to guess who they are, where they are going and what their life may be like.
Allowing for the fact that I am an avid people watcher but also have a high interest and participation in the trans community, obviously, (and please don't take this as a trans-phobic comment as there is no way I am trans-phobic however this is my blog and I'm being open and honest) I am also looking to see if there are trans people, presenting openly trans or those in stealth mode. I have a vested interest as I am looking to see how Lucy would fit into the general lives of CIS people when she is full time. Remember we both spotted the trans lady in M&S a few weeks ago.
I'm looking out for those who are living full time and seeing if I can spot anyone in stealth as well as those who may be part-time or those that only dress casually; the chap who is clean shaven, with short hair, nice eyebrows and long finger nails; the chap that is fresh faced but with a beard; the older lady with more masculine features (could be due to menopause and the higher level of testosterone) to name but a few. It is so easy sometimes to look at people and make judgements about them. Sometimes you see other people look at a person and you can tell by the way they look them up and down and based on the way the judged person is presenting you can almost hear their minds ticking over; 'he's gay', 'she's a lesbian', 'is that a boy or girl?' and 'weirdo'. By the same token you can see some of these judged people walking or talking in a certain way as they want to be noticed as well as those that are just getting on with it or those that are trying to avoid being noticed.
I don't know what the trans population statistics are for the UK (it would be very wide and diverse as would have to account for pre-op, post-op, transitioning and those that can't or dont want to transition and those that still are in denial so I suspect any figures will be rough guide and not very accurate) although according to GIRES it is very low as a percentage of the population. However I would still have expected to have encountered quite a few trans people or gender non conforming over the years.
In truth I have only ever noted a handful of people of all these hundreds of thousands of people I have passed and observed over my time so far traveling to and from work in London and those I noted were particularly noticeable. So where is everyone? My gut feeling is that so many trans people pass far better than they ever would have thought, so many more manage 'stealth' wonderfully however it also sadly proves that trans people are expert at their 'masks' too. When you consider all the pain and agonising that people go through about 'passing', being noticed or hiding their true self when it appears so many manage it so well.
I do it all the time, watching and listening. I can't help it. I find people interesting. Over the years if we have gone out for dinner anywhere Lucy always makes me face the wall or not face out to the main area of a restaurant to stop me doing it otherwise I am there, watching and listening. In all honesty as a general thing there are some face to face, telephone conversations etc that should not have been carried out in such a public place; the girl being accused of cheating, the chaps talking about confidential work information, the person writing performance reviews about individuals, the court papers being read, the personal finance information being discussed but to mention a few.
I work in central London and have a long train journey in as well as a 15 minute tube ride. I pass through 2 main London stations every morning and evening. During the course of my daily work journeys I must pass thousands of people. The people on my train, the people sat on other trains as they pass by, the people crowding to get through ticket barriers, walking through the station concourse and underpasses and of course on the escalators. These are a great place to watch people as they pass by you on the opposite escalator with me observing them as we pass by each other. I have done this particular journey for nearly 7 years.
I love looking at what they are wearing, how they are standing or sitting, what shoes they are wearing, their hair styles, jewellery, hands, nails, how they are interacting with people around them and of course their faces. I look at them and try to guess who they are, where they are going and what their life may be like.
Allowing for the fact that I am an avid people watcher but also have a high interest and participation in the trans community, obviously, (and please don't take this as a trans-phobic comment as there is no way I am trans-phobic however this is my blog and I'm being open and honest) I am also looking to see if there are trans people, presenting openly trans or those in stealth mode. I have a vested interest as I am looking to see how Lucy would fit into the general lives of CIS people when she is full time. Remember we both spotted the trans lady in M&S a few weeks ago.
I'm looking out for those who are living full time and seeing if I can spot anyone in stealth as well as those who may be part-time or those that only dress casually; the chap who is clean shaven, with short hair, nice eyebrows and long finger nails; the chap that is fresh faced but with a beard; the older lady with more masculine features (could be due to menopause and the higher level of testosterone) to name but a few. It is so easy sometimes to look at people and make judgements about them. Sometimes you see other people look at a person and you can tell by the way they look them up and down and based on the way the judged person is presenting you can almost hear their minds ticking over; 'he's gay', 'she's a lesbian', 'is that a boy or girl?' and 'weirdo'. By the same token you can see some of these judged people walking or talking in a certain way as they want to be noticed as well as those that are just getting on with it or those that are trying to avoid being noticed.
I don't know what the trans population statistics are for the UK (it would be very wide and diverse as would have to account for pre-op, post-op, transitioning and those that can't or dont want to transition and those that still are in denial so I suspect any figures will be rough guide and not very accurate) although according to GIRES it is very low as a percentage of the population. However I would still have expected to have encountered quite a few trans people or gender non conforming over the years.
In truth I have only ever noted a handful of people of all these hundreds of thousands of people I have passed and observed over my time so far traveling to and from work in London and those I noted were particularly noticeable. So where is everyone? My gut feeling is that so many trans people pass far better than they ever would have thought, so many more manage 'stealth' wonderfully however it also sadly proves that trans people are expert at their 'masks' too. When you consider all the pain and agonising that people go through about 'passing', being noticed or hiding their true self when it appears so many manage it so well.
Wednesday, 2 November 2016
1st tattoo finished and other stuff
Hurrah..... 9+ hours later and the first tattoo cover up is complete. It looks totally amazing. I'm not allowed to show a picture of before but suffice to say it was a typical late 1980's macho bulldog type picture.
However I am allowed to show you the finished design.......
As you can see, the old tattoo is gone and the design and colours are beautiful! Lucy is so very happy with it and so I am. Now on to the start of the next cover up next week which will be the outline of the Phoenix at the top of her other arm. Watch this space for updates.
In other news, Lucy is now developing 'teenage' spots. Another confirmation that the hormones are taking affect which we thought they were anyway but just good to have another sign. Soon it will be mood swings so our house will be full of joy!! I've told her I'm packing her off to boarding school :)
As mentioned before we are sure there has been some breast tissue growth. We know it is early days but it definitely seems to have changed. My friend was over at the weekend (the one who has been out with us) and Lucy made a comment how she had been sat 'topless' in the same room as her and really shouldn't do that now things are changing. My friend asked what had changed and we said there had been some small changes in the breast area and she asked to see and laughed. I immediately said that it was a bit inappropriate to ask as you wouldn't ask a teenage girl going through puberty to show her breasts. In any event Lucy did show her and and despite us saying the changes were small (obviously Lucy and I would notice any change as we are intimate with each other and know each others bodies well) she looked and said 'oh is that it' showing disappointment that Lucy was not showing off more breasts. I'm not sure what she expected to see and her reaction was disappointing as even if she couldn't see any change (I'm not sure how often she ever paid attention to, if at all, 'his' breasts) she could have given a couple of words of encouragement but instead we had to reiterate that it had only been a month of hormones and therefore any change whatsoever would be slight. You could clearly see on her face the non understanding.
I wasn't comfortable with this at all and just hope that this friend thinks a little bit more before asking to see any changes as I wouldn't be happy Lucy doing this and showing bits of her body as she goes through her transition. I know it is Lucy's body but there are plenty of changes this friend will be able to see without her removing her clothes. Just hope she doesn't ask to see Lucy's 'minnie mouche' when she has one!!!
However I am allowed to show you the finished design.......
In other news, Lucy is now developing 'teenage' spots. Another confirmation that the hormones are taking affect which we thought they were anyway but just good to have another sign. Soon it will be mood swings so our house will be full of joy!! I've told her I'm packing her off to boarding school :)
As mentioned before we are sure there has been some breast tissue growth. We know it is early days but it definitely seems to have changed. My friend was over at the weekend (the one who has been out with us) and Lucy made a comment how she had been sat 'topless' in the same room as her and really shouldn't do that now things are changing. My friend asked what had changed and we said there had been some small changes in the breast area and she asked to see and laughed. I immediately said that it was a bit inappropriate to ask as you wouldn't ask a teenage girl going through puberty to show her breasts. In any event Lucy did show her and and despite us saying the changes were small (obviously Lucy and I would notice any change as we are intimate with each other and know each others bodies well) she looked and said 'oh is that it' showing disappointment that Lucy was not showing off more breasts. I'm not sure what she expected to see and her reaction was disappointing as even if she couldn't see any change (I'm not sure how often she ever paid attention to, if at all, 'his' breasts) she could have given a couple of words of encouragement but instead we had to reiterate that it had only been a month of hormones and therefore any change whatsoever would be slight. You could clearly see on her face the non understanding.
I wasn't comfortable with this at all and just hope that this friend thinks a little bit more before asking to see any changes as I wouldn't be happy Lucy doing this and showing bits of her body as she goes through her transition. I know it is Lucy's body but there are plenty of changes this friend will be able to see without her removing her clothes. Just hope she doesn't ask to see Lucy's 'minnie mouche' when she has one!!!
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