Monday, 14 November 2016

Close call - swerved

So, as you know Lucy and I have plans when we are going to tell more family and specifically the rest of the children; 3 out of 7 know.

At some point next year Lucy will tell her 2 sons and immediately after that I will tell my other 2 sons. Then that's the kids all updated and then it is the rest of the close family and friends before we get onto our wider family and friends. 

This weekend it was my sisters 50th birthday party. She does not live locally and all the family from all over the place made their way to her party venue and we were all staying at hers or in local hotels. Lucy (as him) dj's and my sister had asked Lucy to dj for her. It was a totally fantastic party and of course the music was great. A lot of old school 'Ibiza' type dance classics which you would not normally associate with a family party but this was what my sister wanted and it went down a storm.

During the course of the events someone noticed how long Lucy's nails were and asked if 'he' had taken up playing the guitar. To be honest I can't remember who asked but we kind of blagged it away about how I usually cut and file 'his' nails to stop 'him' biting them and and that I hadn't, blah, blah, blah.

While we were at the party my second eldest son J came up to me and we were having a chat about relationships. He asked me if something was going on as he had noticed some changes with 'him'. I asked him what he meant and what he had noticed specifically and he mentioned 'him' wearing earrings, eyebrows being shaped, long finger nails, how feminine the tattoo cover ups are and how much happier 'he' seems to be.

To be honest I'm surprised it has been this long before he has asked me anything as I know J is quite observant. If the time had been right this would have been the ideal circumstances for me to tell him the whole truth but I know Lucy has it all mapped out in her mind so I had to bend the truth. I told him that there was nothing to tell however me and 'him' are very happy together and that 'he' is in a good place. J said he could see I was happy and I said that actually I am the happiest I have ever been and he said that he could see that too.

Swerved that one for now however I don't think J is stupid and I am sure that my son and daughter who do know have not said anything as he would have been more direct and as a family we are close. I do feel like it was a bit of a missed opportunity however I have to abide by Lucy's wishes.

It was doubly weird as my son that does know said to me that his dad (my ex) had been very pro trans in a lively debate recently - I wouldn't have expected that of him to be honest. We will see how pro he is when he knows about Lucy! 

One of my sisters best friends was at the party. Her ex-husband transitioned over 20 years ago. She does not know about Lucy but when we were talking about her kids 'he' was mentioned. It was interesting that it was not him transitioning that split them up and that it was the not nice person that he was and apparently still is. Their children are all grown up but do not see him by choice, again not because he has transitioned but because they actually don't like him/her. It is a bit like old people where people think all old people are nice however if they were an objectionable person anyway, being old does not make them nicer. Same with transitioning..... you are still the same person inside.

In other news Lucy had two sessions with the tattooist last week so has the outline of the final two cover ups done. They both look great. She is booked in for 3 hours this week which should get the bulk of the colouring and shading done. Saturday we are at Pink Punters on a non trans night which should be great and we are both really looking forward to it.

Last week Lucy also bought some smaller cup size bras for when she grows enough to wear them however she is wearing them now. It is quite weird seeing her with these smaller cup size bras as the breast forms she wears are much larger. Seeing her walking around in these bras when in reality she does not have enough to put in them yet reminds me of my puberty days and probably pretty much the same for any girl. Oh I remember so well the excitement of buying and wearing my first bra and loved wearing it so much even when I had nothing to fill it out. Unfortunately I was teased quite a bit by my mum and the neighbour we had at the time and I remember feeling quite embarrassed by their words. Seeing Lucy wearing hers just makes me smile so much as I remember that feeling so well. No teasing words from me though :)

1 comment:

  1. I understand, I've had a few close calls with family that aren't quite ready, nor was I to tell. My wife fended off several queries, especially when R didn't know and she would oddly want to help my wife fold clothes. That would have been odd trying to explain that half of the womens clothes were mine, lol. I laugh now, but I cringed whenever I thought she would find out. I don't want anyone to stumble upon my secret, I want to tell them. It's not a lie, it's a secret, so if they "find out" it would be to me as if they are catching me at something I am not supposed to be doing. I get to tell people, they get to discover things about me and I get to discover who they are. Two way street, and not every telling is going to have a good ending, but so far pretty damn good. I wish nothing but great receptions to Lucy's secret. You both deserve people to be happy for you, for family to become closer because of it. You are both wonderful, they will see past any issues they have and though it may take time, they will come around.

    I can't wait to have real breasts and not wear the prosthetics. They help with my form, but I'm already wearing a wig, so that is enough attachments for me. :)