Pinks and a murder mystery

Well this weekend was amazing and full of interesting things.

We had arranged to go and see a lovely couple we met (through one of the partner support groups I belong to and who we met face to face at Sparkle last year), Jenny and Ethan. They live in Cheshire which is about 200 miles away from us and as we would have to drive up past Pinks we thought that we would take advantage and go to Pinks on Friday evening and then continue the journey to theirs on the Saturday as arranged.

It wasn’t a BNO night and the cheapest hotel we could get was the Campanile opposite which we have not stayed in for some time after we discovered the Hilton Double Tree and 2 nice Premier Inn hotels nearby. We had forgotten how skanky and small this hotel was. It does take advantage of the fact it is dead opposite Pinks and they do increase the room price when BNO is on. The pillows were flat and the duvet was like a sheet as it had no stuffing and the cleanliness of the bathroom could definitely be questioned but I suppose it was only a place to get ready and sleep. We didn’t rush getting over to Pinks as knew we shouldn’t drink too much and also we did need to leave earlier than normal as we didn’t want to be too tired for Saturday night at Jenny and Ethan’s and the murder mystery party they had planned (our first time).

We got to Pinks at about 12am and it wasn’t very busy. An hour or so later that all changed. We had a great night dancing away and as usual ended up making new friends as we always do. Later when Lucy went to leave I was busy chatting to a lovely couple so she went without me and I came back 5 mins later. I suppose that is the benefit of the hotel being over the road and not having to get a taxi.

Saturday we made the drive to Cheshire which was a smooth run and not much traffic. Marred slightly by the fact that we couldn’t get hold of our daughter Megan who was at home alone to check she was ok and after 3 hours of ringing her and getting our neighbour to knock 4 times we ended up having to get one of my sons to drive 20 mins round to our house to check she was ok. Of course she was fine and had been sleeping in taking advantage of a later night and a longer lay in with us both away. Once we had spoken to her we could relax and enjoy the rest of the weekend and set some additional rules about her phone not being on silent.

When we arrived we popped in to see Jenny and Ethan and stayed for a cuppa before we headed off to the local B&B we were booked into. After the previous night we were a little nervous but we didn’t need to be. The room was lovely and quirky as was the fab pub it was part of. The pillows were bouncy and so huge we had to take one set off the bed and the duvet was thick and snuggly. This was a great choice. The bathroom was lovely too, no bath only a shower which was fine. Jenny was relieved as she had told us about it but didn’t actually know what it was like. It was very cosy.

While we were getting ready I was looking at Lucy and thought that it looked like there had been a growth spurt in a certain area and funnily enough about 10 mins later Lucy mentioned it too. Now that was a bit of good news. Unfortunately though, she is still putting on weight as she is snacking because of the hormones and is not being very disciplined.... if I say anything she gets all stressy but it is hard as I do want her to lose the weight she is putting on and she is not helping herself :(

We got changed into our characters, I was Claire Voyant (a psychic) and Lucy was lady Shippe (the bereaved widow) and then made our way back to Jenny and Ethan's house. We didn’t know what to expect and there was another couple coming over too that we had not met before. They turned out to be totally lovely and were the cook and the gamekeeper and Jenny and Ethan were the major and the vicar (rather appropriate for Ethan who is studying to be a vicar). The evening was great with acting and speaking as our characters in between the meal courses (a very delicious moussaka and fab cheese and biscuits my favourite) and listening to extra information on a CD. As it turns out lady Shippe and the gamekeeper were the killers…. It was a fantastic evening and we are now making plans to host our own murder mystery party but of course go back for another at Jenny and Ethan’s.

They mentioned that they had just come back from a regular adult only 5 days at Butlins that they do together. They make this trip every February and have already booked next year at Minehead and invited us to come with them. Lucy looked it up and we are now all booked in. How exciting. I have never been to Butlins and I’m sure it will be great fun. Lucy will also be full time by then.

In the morning as we were getting ready and I was putting my earring in over the wash basin. The plug hole had very big holes in it and usually I would have put the plug in but didn’t this time. Shock horror, I dropped one (and these are my favourite and expensive earrings from Turkey) and I heard a ‘plop’ as it went down the hole….. I was gutted and was thinking that there would be no way of retrieving it back. However I looked at the back of the basin and could just about access the U bend pipe as that is where I knew the earring would be. Luckily the pipes were relatively new and unscrewed easily by hand (which made me think someone else had done the same thing) and I was able to dismantle the piping to get my earring back which indeed was sat at the bottom of the U bend. It all screwed back together easily and I was extremely relieved I had my earring back! Always some sort of drama!!

We met up with Jenny and Ethan for a cuppa and then went down the local antique and collectables barn and were amazed at some of the stuff that was there. There was a nice little restaurant there so we had a cream tea which turned out to be warm home made scones and was very delicious. Lucy went to the ladies and was gone so long I though she had fallen in!! A queue had formed outside waiting for her made up of some little old ladies. Turns out she was oblivious and touching up her make up. Not a good idea when there is only one toilet! After we went for another wander around and then went back to theirs to chill for a bit. I hadn’t seen anyone give Lucy any dodgy looks however she said she had seen a couple but nothing outright obvious or rude. This was a big confidence boost for her as she had never done this before.

When we had seen how nice the pub that was attached to the B&B was we offered to take Jenny and Ethan there for an evening dinner which we did. The place is very unusual and quaint and had a great atmosphere. Even the ladies toilet was amazing as it had an anti-room with a large bay window and a piano in! The food was amazing and the staff were really friendly. I commented to Lucy how all the different staff we had seen had been friendly and nice and she said that we had seen so many different staff as they were probably all coming to take a peek at her…… I hadn’t thought of that and wasn’t sure whether this was the case or not but one person did the drinks, another took our order, another checked we had ordered and another served the meals. I suppose that is a lot of staff however at this time the pub was not busy. In any case none pulled any funny faces or was anything other than polite and friendly.

We dropped Jenny and Ethan off and made the journey home. Luckily it was a clear run and we made good time and the journey always allows us to chat. Lucy went through a bit of a wobble about the impact of being full time on those around us despite how great everything had been with strangers over the weekend but yet again I told her the impact on her not doing this would be greater for us both. Todays gossip is tomorrows chip paper and it really does not impact directly the lives of anyone other than hers, mine and Megan's and we are all fine with it. I have absolutely no doubt that going full time is the right thing to do. I have a lovely friend in the US (yes you Beth!) who was worried about telling friends and colleague and she has found to her surprise that people have been very accepting. I’m pretty sure that it will be the same for Lucy.

It had been a great weekend and we cannot wait to spend time with them again. We are planning on going to the Richmond Tea Rooms in Manchester with them for afternoon tea when we go to Sparkle but are also planning going to one of the Mad Hatter Tea Parties later in the year on a Friday, followed by another murder mystery evening on the Saturday at Jenny and Ethan’s. We are also planning our own murder mystery dinner party and Lucy is researching which one to get with the best characters. What with Butlins planned for next February it is nice to have things to look forward to.

2017 is getting better

I know it has been a little while since I last posted but so much was going on. I left my job, was registering on lots of job websites with my details, scrolling through lots of jobs, 2 interviews and new job was started unexpectedly the next day after one interview. Started on a Wednesday, was flown to Amsterdam by the company on Thursday with an overnight stay and flew back late Friday afternoon. It is a contract job but looking good already.

Lucy started her new job on Monday the same week. Long story short she was going to be a bus driver but got an offer to be an Environmental Officer (both of which she used to do) but the bus driving would have got in the way of her djing which she does at the weekend. So far so good however she is suffering with the change of hours from working nights to days which has been hard as she has worked nights for 25 years although she is settling into it.

It has been lovely having her at home the same time as me and we have managed to watch some tv programmes snuggled together on the sofa which is just so great. I just love been able to spend more quality time with her.

The increase in her hormone patch dosage has definitely helped and she is certainly more busty now accompanied by tenderness. All positive news. She still needs to lose the weight that she has put on due to giving up smoking and side effects of the hormones but all the junk eating is not helping. If I mention it I get moaned at but I'm only trying to help. Her hair is getting longer but seems to be growing more out than down but this is because it is so curly. I know it is driving her mad and as it is at that in between stage for work she has started wearing a baseball hat which is weird as that is just not something she would wear. The thinning patch she had has hair growing but it is like fine baby hair but hopefully it will thicken out in time. She is lucky that she only has this small patch to worry about. She is not yet suffering with the anticipated mood swings. I don't know if they are to come or if she is just lucky. Only time will tell.

Plans are still on for her to go full time this year. We have not spoken about it much recently but she still has her sons to tell before we get to that stage. It is going to have to be sooner rather than later though.

I've booked to have my tattoo done at last. 2 weeks today and I'm so excited. It is going to be at the top of my back and is likely to hurt quite a bit.... yikes!!

So after a rocky start 2017 is feeling quite positive......

2017..... blergh!

Only a short update as 2017 has not been the best start for me as years go. I felt forced to leave a job that I loved and it was hanging over me all over Christmas and New Year and I was totally shocked and horrified when I realised it was best I left. So much of 2017 so far has been spent job hunting and no doubt this will continue for a while.

In other news Lucy heard back from the Gender GP about her blood test results and has had her oestrogen dose increased so now has 2 patches at a time, a 6.4mg and a 3.2mg estradiol patch. Although she had already seen changes on the single 6.4mg patch she is hoping to start seeing more significant changes on the increased dose. As I replace the patches for her and remove the residue left behind from the sticky patches, now more work for me.

We had planned a trip to Pink Punters on 13th Jan and were unsure whether we could still afford to go without my income however we did go and had a brilliant time. After all the stress of the past few weeks it was great fun to be out and about meeting old friends and new and as always great to be spending time with Lucy.

Last week we also visited the tattooist and they are drawing up my tattoo and something new for Lucy's thigh - she certainly seems to have got the tattoo bug! I am really looking forward to getting mine done.

Welcome 2017

Christmas was great... marred by some horrid stuff going on at my work which hopefully will get sorted in the new year.

Lucy was happy with all the gifts I got her which was a first. I was worried about one top I got her but luckily she loved it. As usual Lucy spoilt me with lots of lovely gifts too. It was very funny the boxes she used for wrapping some smaller gifts..... made me smile

It was bitter sweet as this was the last year 'he' would be there however the 2 Christmas dinners we did (on 2 different days as we couldn't get everyone over on the same day) with all our kids and their partners went really well and no one mentioned anything about 'his' appearance and 3 of my sons clubbed together and bought Lucy and myself very generous vouchers for the tattoo shop. Exciting as Lucy also got me a voucher so in the new year I can get my tattoo started!

This week Lucy rang the GP surgery to get the results of the blood test she had done. It was quite amusing as the receptionist said that the GP had looked at the results and they were all normal!?! Normal? What's that all about? This was not the response we were expecting. Anyway Lucy went to the surgery and collected the print out of the results as this needs to be sent to the Gender GP.  It is the first time we have done any comparison on previous blood tests so we were not sure what we were totally looking for although in time I'm sure we will be experts. Lucy posted them on Facebook and one of our friends was able to interpret them for us. It appears that although the GP has changed Lucy's name on their records they have not changed her gender marker so the results are being compared to a male 'normal'.

Despite this her test on testosterone levels have dropped from 32 to 9.5 nmol/L (in 3 months on HRT) and her oestradiol level has increased to 196 pmol/L. The new testosterone level is above normal for female (0.5-2.6) range (9.0-40.0 for male) but on the very low end for a male..... I'm not sure what happens when it is between 2.6 and 9.0 though as it is on neither scale as they don't overlap. Oestradiol is in female range (77-2400) but at the low end but in there nonetheless. It all ties in with the physical changes we have seen so all good. Lucy has emailed these off to Dr Webberley and will wait to see what response she gets. She has also emailed the GP to get her gender marker changed so the results are given the correct comparison ranges.

Now Christmas is over the new year looms. Roll on 2017..... what a year of changes it will be!!

Last tattoo cover up complete

Yay.... quick update...... Lucy's last tattoo cover up is complete.....

 
Totally amazing.... enough said! 

Of course now she has the bug and is on the lookout for a unique thigh tattoo

The week before Christmas

It's the week before Christmas. Didn't think I was necessarily going to write a post but here we are.......

We are both looking forward to Christmas. It will be the last one where Lucy has to pretend to be him and the first one where I (well Santa) can put her presents under the tree on Christmas eve ready for Christmas morning as the only people in the house at that time are us and our daughters who both know about Lucy instead of having a private present giving hiding away as previous years.

Today Lucy's eldest son text me asking what to get his dad. Awkward! There is no point him buying anything male related as it would be totally wasted and a waste of his precious money. I had a think and found it difficult to come up with anything that could be considered unisex without giving too much away. I responded saying it was hard as if his dad wants anything he usually goes and buys it however his dad has lots of long baths (true) and is always stealing my bubble bath (not true as she has her own) and maybe he could get some nice bubble bath. I got a laughing ok response so hopefully that is sorted.

Today Lucy had an appointment at the GP for a blood test to check on her hormone levels now she has been on the patches a couple of months. She has changed her name on her doctors records and as it was a hospital phlebotomist who goes into the surgery to take the blood it would be someone that would not know Lucy's situation. Also at this surgery they come and call out the patients name. When she is full time this will not be a problem however at the moment she still isn't it could be a bit embarrassing so she asked if I would go with her. We turned up and there is one of those self check in screens where you put in the first letter of your surname and date of birth. We were shocked when her male name was returned. We sat down in the waiting area feeling a little confused as the GP said they had changed her name last time she was there. We were slightly amused by the advert that was on the TV screens there though. Didn't think it was quite appropriate for a GP surgery but did make us laugh! We did wonder what would happen if you didn't want to attend your cremation ;)

Anyway when it was Lucy's turn the nurse called her correct name. We both looked at each other as we were now feeling puzzled. We went in and Lucy sat down and explained that she was probably not what the nurse may have been expecting. On the blood form she definitely had Lucy's name and she said that she had been confused as the appointment was in the male name. Anyway she was very good and took Lucy's blood with no bother. On the way out the reception area was fairly quiet so we went and spoke to the receptionist quietly to explain that it seems they have not correctly changed Lucy's name on the records. The receptionist was great and checked it all out and said that she would get it sorted. Lucy is still going to email the GP anyway just to check it does get done. I've agreed with her that I will also go with her to the next blood taking appointment. To be fair I like going to all the appointments I can with her as although this is Lucy's journey we are taking it together.

We were chatting tonight and Lucy has expressed an interest in starting her own blog. This is something I never thought she would do but I do think it would be a great idea. She said that she would never have considered writing a blog if she was not in the situation she is and that I probably wouldn't have started writing one either for the same reason. I suppose she is right although a few people I know were trying to push me to write a blog about my daily commuting to London woes (long story but does involve losing flip flops on train lines and sneaky pictures). I told her I love writing this blog and for me it is a bit like talking to myself as I don't write it necessarily for other people (it is nice to know one or two people do actually read it) but for me and I do find it therapeutic writing about our life. If she does decide to do a blog I will link it here.

On behalf of Lucy and myself I want to wish you all a very Happy Christmas and a Fantastic New Year. 2017 for us will be a year of change. Yesterday's the past, tomorrow's the future, but today is a gift. That's why it's called the present!

Trans community friends from times past and present

When Lucy and I first started going out and about some 15 years or so ago we had a wide group of friends in the community. It was made up from single trans girls and couples (trans girls and their wives). We met up through Yahoo support groups, UK Angels and generally people we met while we were out. We spent lots of time with these people and it was pre Facebook and social media as we know it now.

Some of these people were 'our type of people' and many were not, however we all were connected by the community and had plenty of fun on nights out. Over time we all drifted and when Lucy had her denial for few years we stopped going out and socialising. In fact I was gutted as we used to have great fun (just like we do now).

I stayed in touch with a couple of wives and we have now been friends on and off Facebook for quite a few years now. With those I have stayed in touch with it appears their husbands have reverted to being male and do not dress any more and certainly don’t go out. In fact our lives are so different that when I told one wife that Lucy was going to transition she said that there was no way she would stay with her husband if he did the same and it had never been on their radar. Some people seem to have disappeared altogether and one or two who still have female profiles don’t converse with us. Lucy had one on her Facebook friends list for some time however she never interacted with Lucy and we both felt she was only friends to spy and report back to the rest of the little group of friends what we are up to. Lucy made the decision to unfriended her a few weeks ago so I suppose it won't be long before the wife friend gets in touch to find out what is happening in our life.

It is funny as this was quite a tight knit group of friends and it is amazing that none are out and about much these days. Some still have Facebook profiles but they are hardly used.

I suppose you meet different people for different phases of your life. When Lucy and I are out and about we always make new friends and we have met some really lovely and interesting people. We were out at Pinks on Friday and after a hellish 4 hour car journey which should have been 2 we vowed never again to go there on a Friday however as usual we had such a great time those words were taken back!

As we were getting ready Lucy gave me an early Christmas present - a lovely heart shaped necklace with purple gems (mauve/purple is my favourite colour). It is gorgeous and I love it. Later we met up with our friend Paulette who had driven 40 minutes just to meet us for dinner and a chat in the restaurant next to the hotel. As always it was lovely to see her. She is reading a very interesting book called Transgender Spirituality and I have downloaded on kindle on my phone today so will start reading it soon. As we were sitting having dinner and chatting I kept looking at Lucy and thought she looked particularly radiant and beautiful. I do love her so much!

At Pinks it was a very busy night, one of the BNO nights and yet again we met some new and interesting people. One lady in particular has been an organiser of the winter pride in Grand Canaria and she was with a group of ladies who were also interesting to talk and socialise with. Of course now Lucy and I want to go to the winter pride there in 2017! 

It was a very fun evening slightly tempered by the fact I had a problem with a few men that night. I don't what it was but they wouldn't leave me alone even though they knew I was with Lucy. Not being funny, I'm no spring chicken these days and not the slimmest person in the world although I have a bit of a personality and do like to have fun and dance. This however is not an open invitation. I'm not sure if they thought they were saving me or think they can offer me something Lucy can't. In any case, they are very mistaken and I only have eyes and love for one person.

Lucy's tattoos caused a lot of interest as it was the first time she had been able to wear a short sleeved dress. Everyone loved them and one person even asked for the name of the tattoo shop. She was very flattered by the attention they drew.

There were a few people that were there that had been to work Christmas parties and were wearing fancy dress. From just Christmas hats to as much as orange face Oompa Loompa's and a chap with ET in a basket strapped to his chest. All in all a fun night.

In others news, the GP gave an NHS prescription for Vaniqa - hurrah!! That is going to save a packet. Next week Lucy has a blood test booked at the GP to check all her hormone levels. I'm working from home that day so I can go with her as she is a little nervous about the nurse calling her name in front of everyone while she is not full time. She also has an appointment with the tattooist to do some more colouring in of the phoenix which already is looking fantastic. Then it will be Christmas :)