Sunday, 20 March 2016

Weekly round up

So far no major dramas this week.... not that I was expecting any but you just never know.

The weird looking director at work (you remember the one from previous posts I hope) is still causing quite a bit of banter. Now I have no problem with this banter as over the years there has been plenty going on in various forms but I never let any of it get to me as the people making the comments can only use the stereotype image and behaviours and to the best of my knowledge none of them have first hand experience. Anyway since telling my boss about Lucy, she gets very uncomfortable when the banter starts. I have told her repeatedly that it is not an issue for me but I do feel she feels awkward on my behalf. We were in a managers meeting the other day and the banter about this unliked director started again, from the style of her hair, inappropriate office clothes she wears, what you may see if you looked under the table to the gait she has when she walks in her incredibly high heels. Admittedly she does not walk very well in these shoes and does walk quite wide-legged..... but obviously the perception is that she is a tranny and walks like a man would in high heels especially if they had something between their legs! I just smile and leave them to it however in this meeting my boss had her head down and wouldn't look at me. She collared me after and said she had to keep her head down to avoid looking at me in the eye...... I told her it was no problem and in any case, none of the trans girls I know walk in this way and for the record they all 'tuck' so there would be nothing to get in the way of them walking properly! Well she just burst into laughter, pulled a funny face and said that was too much information. I just shrugged my shoulders, smiled and said it was fact!

Big news this week is that Lucy outed herself to one of her customers. Lucy is a black taxi driver, works in male mode and picks up a variety of people. One evening this week she picked up a lady late at night who told Lucy she was on the way home from a charity evening. As is usual Lucy asked her what charity it was for. It turns out it was a charity called Stonewall. When Lucy asked what this charity stood for she could see the woman hestitate and look a bit uncomfortable however she did go on to tell her that they are there to let all lesbian, gay, bi and trans people in the UK and abroad know that they are not alone and are renouned for their campaigning and lobbying. At this point Lucy gave a little laugh and the woman asked her why she was laughing........ well blow me down Lucy went on to tell her all about herself and us and showed pictures of us out and about last week as well as other pictures. This stranger is only the 3rd person that Lucy has come out to (only me and my eldest daughter and son before this). I was amazed as she is usually so uncomfortable about doing this. The woman was fantastic and I know that Lucy felt great that she had taken this step. I am so proud of my Lucy!  

Lucy also belongs to some trans specific Facebook groups. On one of these it transpired that a girl was in a hospital local to us for the 'big op'. The girl is not local and is 2.5 hours drive away from her home. Lucy privately messaged her to see if she needed anything brought up to the hospital which she could have dropped at reception for her and she was grateful of the offer but said she was ok. However she said that she wouldn't mind a visit. Lucy had been chatting with her before and then after the op and was planning on popping up to the hospital this evening (in male mode) however today the girl has had some complications and is not feeling up for a visit. No doubt she will be there a bit longer so maybe Lucy can pop up to the hospital when she is feeling better. This is another first for Lucy.

There were some comments on the Sparkle unofficial Facebook page this week. I have to be so careful when posting on Facebook or liking comments or pictures as these obviously appear in my newsfeed for all my Facebook friends to see (which I don't want). I have to take care that I don't accidently out Lucy before she is ready. She is ok as she has Facebook and Twitter profiles as her as well as 'him'. This Sparkle group was a closed group which should mean only those in the group can see comments and posts but I am totally paranoid. As it was I did make a comment, not the one I wanted, but a very innocuous one. I think I may have to create a different profile on Facebook/Twitter so I can properly comment on things and then I will have no worry about accidently letting anything slip as I think it will be a while before Lucy is fully out. 

Lucy knows that I am part of a few of these 'partner' forums and we were chatting about it yesterday. I don't think she understands the feeling of wanting to know what other partners of trans people are going through or feeling. I don't feel at the moment I need support from anyone else and to be honest when they talk about their experiences none are on the same page as me and some are sadly so bitter about it all. I generally just read what they are writing and very rarely converse with anyone. I have mentioned before that usually Lucy does not gravitate towards other trans girls however I do. I enjoy the community feeling especially when we are out but also love being out in a non trans environment just me and Lucy. Lucy put her arms round me and said that in her life she has all the community she needs, me and her....... 

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