Tuesday, 25 July 2017

Telling my eldest sons.... so we thought!

I have been pushing Lucy for sometime to let me tell my 2 eldest sons. My other 2 younger children know and our daughter knows too. Much of the delay was caused as Lucy wanted to tell her sons first however with their individual circumstances we don't get to see them very much at the moment and we see much mine more. There was an urgency to tell them as they are more likely to notice all the changes.

My eldest son and his wife came over for dinner last week. They are expecting their first child, our first grandchild! We had a lovely time and Lucy nearly felt like telling me that it was ok to tell them however it is important that we tell both my sons at the same time and then she couldn't make up her mind so we didn't.

For this weekend just gone I had planned a family bbq where all my children would be over and together. I wanted to take this opportunity to tell them but Lucy kept wavering. I thought it was important especially with the new baby due in January and didn't want anything to detract from the joy this baby would bring. All week we had been discussing it and Megan our 14 year old daughter was trying to persuade us to tell them.

On Friday night while Lucy was in the bath Megan came and spoke to me to say that she had been in a discussion with my 3 sons (she games with them regularly) and they had all decided that I should be told that they knew already and in fact they had know for over a year!! Their message was to tell mum that they were all very supportive. Turns out my 21 year old daughter had told them......

Well that dealt with that situation! Now to tell Lucy.... we don't have any secrets and I needed to tell her. Later that evening when we were sat together and she mentioned about telling my sons I told her we didn't need to as they knew already and they were incredibly supportive. To be honest Lucy had suspected for some time that they knew but we didn't know for sure. We would have liked to have told them ourselves as there is the whole background story that we wanted to share but in any case they were over the following evening so I could have a chat with them.

As luck would have it, Lucy got asked last minute to DJ at a party so wasn't there when they all came over. My second eldest son came over first and we had a chat. He and his girlfriend were not fazed by it at all and were interested to hear all about us, our friends and see pictures. They both reiterated that they were supportive of us both and actually don't see how it would be a problem for them. I had to pop to the shop to pick up something and his girlfriend came with me and we had a lovely chat about it all and again everything she said was full of support and that they were interested in coming out to Pinks with us. So it looks like they will come in either Nov or Dec (they are busy with holidays and weddings before this). 

My eldest son came over with his wife and gave me a big hug. Again they were both so very supportive and actually I was overwhelmed with how super supportive he was. The whole evening was a fantastic night.

Over the following couple of days my eldest son and his wife continued to message me with such supportive messages for me and Lucy. Some of the things he was saying just blew us both away. I knew my sons would be supportive but the extend of the support of them both and their partners far exceeds anything we could have wished for. My eldest son and his wife are all booked to come to Pinks in Sept and they can't wait to meet Lucy properly but also meet many of our friends. To top it off my 21 year old daughter is also coming to Pinks in Aug with her boyfriend. It is going to be great to introducing them all to everyone.

It seems this blog has fulfilled its primary objective. To be there for when we started telling our family. My second eldest son and his girlfriend have started to read it and my eldest son and his wife have read it all and his comments were:
Read the blog and what an experience! Its a hard fight but it looks like you are both winning. I still hate the fact that she has to hide away her true self  but really... f**k everyone else and to let you know you have our full support in every way and we are here for you both. Oh and tell Lucy we thinks she looks beautiful.

Well boys and girls, if you are reading this, Lucy and I love you very much and your support is just AMAZING and just so appreciated!

We have spent the last few days with something in our eyes.......


  1. I could not be happier for you guys and it makes me restore my faith that it is possible for some families to get through this as well as having a supportive partner in one's life...kudos

  2. Thanks Joanna. The support they are giving is amazing. My eldest even said he couldn't wait to come out with us to meet his step mum for the first time. We are blown away x

  3. I think you have wonderful intelligent and supportive children. Wonderful to read this xxx

    1. Thank you so much. They are amazing and I'm hoping they will meet some of the amazing people in our life. If you come to Pinks in Aug you will.meet my daughter x

  4. To have family in full support is immeasurably wonderful. I am glad that yours and Lucy's children were so accepting and gracious. Thank you for sharing this lovely account, this is why your blog is important, it gives others a realistic view of family life with a transitioning person. It also gives hope to those who want to be themselves but may be afraid to tell their spouse or family.

  5. Thanks Beth. We haven't told Lucy's sons yet. I don't think that will be quite so positive. What is great is my children will have our backs for us when we tell everyone else. My eldest who is 31 and his wife are being amazingly supportive and I am so proud of him.

    1. It's unfortunate, we all want to be accepted without thought. But sometimes it takes time, it may be hard, and sometimes it takes too long, but eventually I think the sons will come to accept things. I hope so, I truly do. Lucy is wonderful and deserves to be loved for herself.