Me, my body image and clothes

Lucy being in my life and wanting to get out and about has enabled me to be the person I truly am too. I am fun loving, sociable and enjoy getting made up and dressing up. Over the years with ‘him’ the opportunity for dressing up and going out were few and far between and we used to live for our holidays where we could go out and have fun.

I don’t have the same figure as Lucy…. I have the toll of having had 5 children and a baby belly which really has knocked my confidence in the clothes I wear if I’m going for a night out. I am happy with the style I wear day to day for work and slouch times. Lucy is able to buy some really lovely short clingy dresses which look fantastic and I am quite envious however in the back of my mind I know that I had the advantage of when I was younger and slimmer of wearing even shorter and clingier dresses for many years which she never had. I think what I am saying  is that I have had my time and now it is hers however when we go out I would hate to be considered the dowdy wife and still want to look current and attractive.

Although I am bigger than I used to be I suppose I’m not that bad and still have decent legs…. phew :) so do wear some short things just not clingy. A few months ago I looked through my wardrobe and realised I have lots of ‘sack’ type dresses….. these have to go! I think I am over compensating for my belly and buying clothes far too big! I have always dismissed the control type underwear as they looked so ugly however I have found a range I like and these are great at holding my belly in better…. Only thing at the moment it seems they seem to squash my boobs too much so need to look into some different ones and maybe wear a bra under the ones I have. If the Kardashian’s can wear control underwear so can I!

I have a lovely playsuit which I love and looks great on me (and is in most of the pictures of our nights out) but I can’t keep wearing the same clothes every time we go out so need to look for other things to wear and some that don't make me look fuddy duddy especially when I'm standing next to some of these fantastically and extrovertly dressed trans girls. Lucy buys quite a bit from Boohoo in the clearance and gets some great stuff at a good price. I had a look through the website and saw a couple of dresses I quite liked and one dress in particular but it looked quite tight. I thought I would take a risk and order it anyway and see, along with one other not so tight.

Well when I got home from work last night the delivery had come so thought I would try it on (of course with a hold it all in control bodysuit). It looked ‘ok’ but was still quite tight across my belly and you could really see my squashed boobs. Not a good look. As luck would have it (for Lucy!!!) on top Lucy is the same size as me so she tried it on and OF COURSE the bloody thing looked fantastic on her. I just wanted to cry! So now Lucy has a new dress and I’m back to scrolling through Boohoo to see if there is anything else that catches my eye. The other dress that came which was more of a swing style looked great so I have kept that. I have now managed to find another couple of dresses I liked which I have ordered. One of the dresses our older daughter said it was my style of dress….. not sure if that is good or bad…. Just hoping it doesn’t look like a tent like some of the others! And to rub a bit of salt into my wounds Lucy wore the new dress last night (under ‘his’ clothes) while she was working AND sent a Snapchat to me of her wearing the damn thing!

On the flip side of this however Lucy bought a lovely tunic dress/top that with hindsight she decided was not her style and threw it out to go in the charity bag. Luckily for me it was MY size and style so I have taken it for me :)

As luck would have it I have got home tonight and the 2 dresses I ordered last night from Boohoo have arrived. What a service! Tried them both on and they are fab..... Now I have something else to wear especially for when we are back at PP in March. I'm a very happy girlie :)