Saturday, 18 February 2017

2017 is getting better

I know it has been a little while since I last posted but so much was going on. I lost my job, was registering on lots of job websites with my details, scrolling through lots of jobs, 2 interviews and new job was started unexpectedly the next day after one interview. Started on a Wednesday, was flown to Amsterdam by the company on Thursday with an overnight stay and flew back late Friday afternoon. It is a contract job but looking good already.

Lucy started her new job on Monday the same week. Long story short she was going to be a bus driver but got an offer to be an Environmental Officer (both of which she used to do) but the bus driving would have got in the way of her djing which she does at the weekend. So far so good however she is suffering with the change of hours from working nights to days which has been hard as she has worked nights for 25 years although she is settling into it.

It has been lovely having her at home the same time as me and we have managed to watch some tv programmes snuggled together on the sofa which is just so great. I just love been able to spend more quality time with her.

The increase in her hormone patch dosage has definitely helped and she is certainly more busty now accompanied by tenderness. All positive news. She still needs to lose the weight that she has put on due to giving up smoking and side effects of the hormones but all the junk eating is not helping. If I mention it I get moaned at but I'm only trying to help. Her hair is getting longer but seems to be growing more out than down but this is because it is so curly. I know it is driving her mad and as it is at that in between stage for work she has started wearing a baseball hat which is weird as that is just not something she would wear. The thinning patch she had has hair growing but it is like fine baby hair but hopefully it will thicken out in time. She is lucky that she only has this small patch to worry about. She is not yet suffering with the anticipated mood swings. I don't know if they are to come or if she is just lucky. Only time will tell.

Plans are still on for her to go full time this year. We have not spoken about it much recently but she still has her sons to tell before we get to that stage. It is going to have to be sooner rather than later though.

I've booked to have my tattoo done at last. 2 weeks today and I'm so excited. It is going to be at the top of my back and is likely to hurt quite a bit.... yikes!!

So after a rocky start 2017 is feeling quite positive......

Monday, 16 January 2017

2017..... blergh!


Only a short update as 2017 has not been the best start for me as years go. I got fired from a job that I loved over something well-meaning which totally back fired. It was hanging over me all over Christmas and New Year and I was totally shocked and horrified when I was told the outcome. So much of 2017 so far has been spent job hunting and no doubt this will continue for a while.

In other news Lucy heard back from the Gender GP about her blood test results and has had her oestrogen dose increased so now has 2 patches at a time, a 6.4mg and a 3.2mg estradiol patch. Although she had already seen changes on the single 6.4mg patch she is hoping to start seeing more significant changes on the increased dose. As I replace the patches for her and remove the residue left behind from the sticky patches, now more work for me.
We had planned a trip to Pink Punters on 13th Jan and were unsure whether we could still afford to go without my income however we did go and had a brilliant time. After all the stress of the past few weeks it was great fun to be out and about meeting old friends and new and as always great to be spending time with Lucy.
Last week we also visited the tattooist and they are drawing up my tattoo and something new for Lucy's thigh - she certainly seems to have got the tattoo bug! I am really looking forward to getting mine done.


Saturday, 31 December 2016

Welcome 2017

Christmas was great... marred by some horrid stuff going on at my work which hopefully will get sorted in the new year.

Lucy was happy with all the gifts I got her which was a first. I was worried about one top I got her but luckily she loved it. As usual Lucy spoilt me with lots of lovely gifts too. It was very funny the boxes she used for wrapping some smaller gifts..... made me smile


It was bitter sweet as this was the last year 'he' would be there however the 2 Christmas dinners we did (on 2 different days as we couldn't get everyone over on the same day) with all our kids and their partners went really well and no one mentioned anything about 'his' appearance and 3 of my sons clubbed together and bought Lucy and myself very generous vouchers for the tattoo shop. Exciting as Lucy also got me a voucher so in the new year I can get my tattoo started!

This week Lucy rang the GP surgery to get the results of the blood test she had done. It was quite amusing as the receptionist said that the GP had looked at the results and they were all normal!?! Normal? What's that all about? This was not the response we were expecting. Anyway Lucy went to the surgery and collected the print out of the results as this needs to be sent to the Gender GP.  It is the first time we have done any comparison on previous blood tests so we were not sure what we were totally looking for although in time I'm sure we will be experts. Lucy posted them on Facebook and one of our friends was able to interpret them for us. It appears that although the GP has changed Lucy's name on their records they have not changed her gender marker so the results are being compared to a male 'normal'.

Despite this her test on testosterone levels have dropped from 32 to 9.5 nmol/L (in 3 months on HRT) and her oestradiol level has increased to 196 pmol/L. The new testosterone level is above normal for female (0.5-2.6) range (9.0-40.0 for male) but on the very low end for a male..... I'm not sure what happens when it is between 2.6 and 9.0 though as it is on neither scale as they don't overlap. Oestradiol is in female range (77-2400) but at the low end but in there nonetheless. It all ties in with the physical changes we have seen so all good. Lucy has emailed these off to Dr Webberley and will wait to see what response she gets. She has also emailed the GP to get her gender marker changed so the results are given the correct comparison ranges.

Now Christmas is over the new year looms. Roll on 2017..... what a year of changes it will be!!

Thursday, 22 December 2016

Last tattoo cover up complete

Yay.... quick update...... Lucy's last tattoo cover up is complete.....


 
Totally amazing.... enough said! 

Of course now she has the bug and is on the lookout for a unique thigh tattoo

Tuesday, 20 December 2016

The week before Christmas

It's the week before Christmas. Didn't think I was necessarily going to write a post but here we are.......

We are both looking forward to Christmas. It will be the last one where Lucy has to pretend to be him and the first one where I (well Santa) can put her presents under the tree on Christmas eve ready for Christmas morning as the only people in the house at that time are us and our daughters who both know about Lucy instead of having a private present giving hiding away as previous years.

Today Lucy's eldest son text me asking what to get his dad. Awkward! There is no point him buying anything male related as it would be totally wasted and a waste of his precious money. I had a think and found it difficult to come up with anything that could be considered unisex without giving too much away. I responded saying it was hard as if his dad wants anything he usually goes and buys it however his dad has lots of long baths (true) and is always stealing my bubble bath (not true as she has her own) and maybe he could get some nice bubble bath. I got a laughing ok response so hopefully that is sorted.

Today Lucy had an appointment at the GP for a blood test to check on her hormone levels now she has been on the patches a couple of months. She has changed her name on her doctors records and as it was a hospital phlebotomist who goes into the surgery to take the blood it would be someone that would not know Lucy's situation. Also at this surgery they come and call out the patients name. When she is full time this will not be a problem however at the moment she still isn't it could be a bit embarrassing so she asked if I would go with her. We turned up and there is one of those self check in screens where you put in the first letter of your surname and date of birth. We were shocked when her male name was returned. We sat down in the waiting area feeling a little confused as the GP said they had changed her name last time she was there. We were slightly amused by the advert that was on the TV screens there though. Didn't think it was quite appropriate for a GP surgery but did make us laugh! We did wonder what would happen if you didn't want to attend your cremation ;)


Anyway when it was Lucy's turn the nurse called her correct name. We both looked at each other as we were now feeling puzzled. We went in and Lucy sat down and explained that she was probably not what the nurse may have been expecting. On the blood form she definitely had Lucy's name and she said that she had been confused as the appointment was in the male name. Anyway she was very good and took Lucy's blood with no bother. On the way out the reception area was fairly quiet so we went and spoke to the receptionist quietly to explain that it seems they have not correctly changed Lucy's name on the records. The receptionist was great and checked it all out and said that she would get it sorted. Lucy is still going to email the GP anyway just to check it does get done. I've agreed with her that I will also go with her to the next blood taking appointment. To be fair I like going to all the appointments I can with her as although this is Lucy's journey we are taking it together.

We were chatting tonight and Lucy has expressed an interest in starting her own blog. This is something I never thought she would do but I do think it would be a great idea. She said that she would never have considered writing a blog if she was not in the situation she is and that I probably wouldn't have started writing one either for the same reason. I suppose she is right although a few people I know were trying to push me to write a blog about my daily commuting to London woes (long story but does involve losing flip flops on train lines and sneaky pictures). I told her I love writing this blog and for me it is a bit like talking to myself as I don't write it necessarily for other people (it is nice to know one or two people do actually read it) but for me and I do find it therapeutic writing about our life. If she does decide to do a blog I will link it here.

On behalf of Lucy and myself I want to wish you all a very Happy Christmas and a Fantastic New Year. 2017 for us will be a year of change. Yesterday's the past, tomorrow's the future, but today is a gift. That's why it's called the present!


Wednesday, 14 December 2016

Trans community friends from times past and present

When Lucy and I first started going out and about some 15 years or so ago we had a wide group of friends in the community. It was made up from single trans girls and couples (trans girls and their wives). We met up through Yahoo support groups, UK Angels and generally people we met while we were out. We spent lots of time with these people and it was pre Facebook and social media as we know it now.

Some of these people were 'our type of people' and many were not, however we all were connected by the community and had plenty of fun on nights out. Over time we all drifted and when Lucy had her denial for few years we stopped going out and socialising. In fact I was gutted as we used to have great fun (just like we do now).


I stayed in touch with a couple of wives and we have now been friends on and off Facebook for quite a few years now. With those I have stayed in touch with it appears their husbands have reverted to being male and do not dress any more and certainly don’t go out. In fact our lives are so different that when I told one wife that Lucy was going to transition she said that there was no way she would stay with her husband if he did the same and it had never been on their radar. Some people seem to have disappeared altogether and one or two who still have female profiles don’t converse with us. Lucy had one on her Facebook friends list for some time however she never interacted with Lucy and we both felt she was only friends to spy and report back to the rest of the little group of friends what we are up to. Lucy made the decision to unfriended her a few weeks ago so I suppose it won't be long before the wife friend gets in touch to find out what is happening in our life.


It is funny as this was quite a tight knit group of friends and it is amazing that none are out and about much these days. Some still have Facebook profiles but they are hardly used.

I suppose you meet different people for different phases of your life. When Lucy and I are out and about we always make new friends and we have met some really lovely and interesting people. We were out at Pinks on Friday and after a hellish 4 hour car journey which should have been 2 we vowed never again to go there on a Friday however as usual we had such a great time those words were taken back!

As we were getting ready Lucy gave me an early Christmas present - a lovely heart shaped necklace with purple gems (mauve/purple is my favourite colour). It is gorgeous and I love it. Later we met up with our friend Paulette who had driven 40 minutes just to meet us for dinner and a chat in the restaurant next to the hotel. As always it was lovely to see her. She is reading a very interesting book called Transgender Spirituality and I have downloaded on kindle on my phone today so will start reading it soon. As we were sitting having dinner and chatting I kept looking at Lucy and thought she looked particularly radiant and beautiful. I do love her so much!

At Pinks it was a very busy night, one of the BNO nights and yet again we met some new and interesting people. One lady in particular has been an organiser of the winter pride in Grand Canaria and she was with a group of ladies who were also interesting to talk and socialise with. Of course now Lucy and I want to go to the winter pride there in 2017! 

It was a very fun evening slightly tempered by the fact I had a problem with a few men that night. I don't what it was but they wouldn't leave me alone even though they knew I was with Lucy. Not being funny, I'm no spring chicken these days and not the slimmest person in the world although I have a bit of a personality and do like to have fun and dance. This however is not an open invitation. I'm not sure if they thought they were saving me or think they can offer me something Lucy can't. In any case, they are very mistaken and I only have eyes and love for one person.

Lucy's tattoos caused a lot of interest as it was the first time she had been able to wear a short sleeved dress. Everyone loved them and one person even asked for the name of the tattoo shop. She was very flattered by the attention they drew.

There were a few people that were there that had been to work Christmas parties and were wearing fancy dress. From just Christmas hats to as much as orange face Oompa Loompa's and a chap with ET in a basket strapped to his chest. All in all a fun night.




In others news, the GP gave an NHS prescription for Vaniqa - hurrah!! That is going to save a packet. Next week Lucy has a blood test booked at the GP to check all her hormone levels. I'm working from home that day so I can go with her as she is a little nervous about the nurse calling her name in front of everyone while she is not full time. She also has an appointment with the tattooist to do some more colouring in of the phoenix which already is looking fantastic. Then it will be Christmas :)

Monday, 5 December 2016

Should I feel sorry?

When Lucy is full time and the world has been told I often think about what some people will think to themselves. Not about Lucy or the situation but about things they have said in conversations about trans people when either of us have been around. Should I feel sorry for them if some of them recall conversations that have been had with us or we have been party to and then feel awkward? Am I expecting too much and maybe none will recall any of them?

I have a branch of my family who live in Milton Keynes. One of my other cousins made a comment about when they stayed there for a family party a few years ago. They stayed at the Campanile hotel which is opposite Pink Punters. Only this year she made a comment about when they stayed her husband dressed as a woman for breakfast for a laugh. It is not a laugh though is it? It was poking fun at the trans ladies that had stayed in that hotel who were also there eating their breakfast. I wonder if she will remember this conversation with me?

Some 10 years or so ago we went to visit my family in Milton Keynes. My uncle who lives there made a comment about Pink Punters and how the basement of the building was full of sex dungeons. At this time we had been going for nights out in Pinks for a couple of years so knew there was nothing of the sort and just threw each other knowing and amused looks. Funny how people make assumptions about places just because it is alternative.

Some of my Milton Keynes cousins used to go to Pinks after nights out as it stays open late (6am) so is a good place to go when other places have shut. Now they have children they don't go (lucky for us!) but we always used to panic a little bit when we went in the early days when they would have been out and about. When we were in Milton Keynes for my uncles birthday party last September, Lucy as 'he' was keen almost desperate to go to Pinks to continue having a drink and if you remember my post we went with Lucy as 'him' and our older daughter B. We didn't know how far away Pinks was from the party we were at and 'he' had made a quite a deal that he wanted to go there when everyone else was going off home or to their hotels. One of my Milton Keynes cousins was there helping sort out taxis etc. I wonder if he will recall this and it all make sense to him?

At work, all the banter about the lady director who a certain few believe is a 'tranny' (she is not - she is a CIS woman with manly features who dresses quite tartily) and have made some quite derogatory remarks about her. Will they remember these conversations?

Also at work, one of our offices is in Streatham. There is a locally well know trans lady affectionately (hmmm.... not sure this is the right word) known as the 'Streatham tranny'. She dresses quite near to the mark and it is not unheard of for her to be in skimpy underwear or cropped tops and mini skirt on a cold day. There were quite a few strong opinions about her bandied around the office. My manager (who has since left but who also knew about Lucy) wanted to pull a couple of people in and have a word as she thought some of the comments were too near the mark. Her thoughts on this were that although she knows about Lucy, how many other people may have overheard the conversation who may have had a trans person in their life - quite a logical assumption. How many involved will remember the conversations?

One of my sisters best friends husband came out as trans about 20 years ago and had full GRS. Their marriage failed not just because of this however it was a reason. My mum (who worked in the rag trade in London in the 1950/60's and worked with lots of eclectic and wonderful people) used to talk about him/her in quite graphic detail about the surgery and negative comments about the gender change how it had affected my sisters friend with no empathy for the situation.

Another of my sisters has a friend whose son came out as trans fairly recently and is in the process of transitioning. A chat about hormones she was on and the end goal of GRS ensued between us and I had to speak as if I didn't know too much about this type of thing. I wonder if my sister will recall this conversation?

Will Lucy's son remember the Christmas conversation which has stayed in my mind so vividly? If he doesn't no problem, but if he does will he regret some of the things he said or try to remember exactly what he did say from his position of ignorance? (he has not had any contact with anyone trans before, let alone his dad and he is uneducated about this - he is the kind of lad who I feel would do some research when/if he does accept the situation as he does with everything else in his life).

Even the other day there was another throw away comment made about trans people by one of my colleagues. I let it roll off my back and dismissed it as a casual conversation.

Lucy is a football referee and in readiness for living full time she has started refereeing ladies matches in addition to the mens matches she does. As with all football matches tensions get high and women are no exception. Lucy made an unpopular decision with one team member who complained about 'him' being sexist against women. I have to admit that we did have a private laugh about this later however this couldn't have been further off the mark. I wonder if this player will remember her comments when she finds out about Lucy?

These are just a handful of conversations I can recall immediately. Over the years there have been plenty of throw away comments and joked conversations. Maybe I over think things but if I was told big news like this potentially will be I would try to recall if I had said anything in the past which may have related to the situation. Many of the comments are made from ignorance and some very innocently. I wonder who will be feeling sorry........