Happy Easter everyone! I know not everyone celebrates but it has been nice having the extended time off work to spend with Lucy and our youngest daughter. I've said before that Lucy works nights and I work days and the overlap time isn't usually very much. So even though Lucy was still working nights we did have some more time together which is always great!
So what has been happening.....?
Well I knew this would happen after the other week at Pink Punters and Lucy having a grope of another girls boobs. She is now considering self medicating. I don't blame her to be honest as the first proper GIC appointment is many months away (we don't even have a date yet) and to be honest I think she has been very patient so far and am surprised she didn't come to this conclusion a long while ago as so many other girls seem to do it. It seemed she was in the minority by not self medicating.
In fact, I broached the subject a couple of weeks ago with Lucy and I got a non committal response however a few days ago she broached the subject with me by sending me a WhatApp message saying that she was thinking of self medicating later in the year. My response was short and sweet 'I thought you might' and then I was berated for giving a short sharp response and no nice emojis. I told her that was exactly why I had mentioned it the other time to her and was no shock. She wanted my approval before investigating further. It was lovely she was considering me but at the end of the day I know she is going to transition anyway so does it make any difference when she starts the hormones? And of course she has my approval as long as we have all the facts before.... and she gives up smoking!
I have told her to make sure she does her research and speaks to other girls which I know she will do anyway. I know she has done quite a bit of research already and was saying something about not making the standard mistake of going for a too high dosage to start with which then can affect the size your boobs would grow. It needs to be a graduated increasing dose from a low dosage first and a lots of patience.
Obviously if she does self medicate later in the year we will have to tell our 13 year old daughter sooner than Lucy was planning. She has been trying to delay it for as long as possible as she wanted our daughter to get through her own hormonal bit of life without this extra worry. Our daughter will be hormonal for years and I have never seen the point in waiting. All the stories that I have read from other wives/trans about telling their children, it seems better to tell them sooner rather than later. It also seems that the kids are more accepting than the adult children. And once she is told then we have the opportunity to tell more of our friends and family. Anyway, this will be another bridge or 2 for us to cross.
My friend who came out with us last time to Pink Punters still really does not understand the situation and it does wind me up. Lucy likes her to be involved with stuff as it is nice for her to be socialising with another cis female other than me that she has known for a long time however I get so frustrated that this friend doesn't really understand. For example, Lucy has 2 phones. One for 'him' and one for Lucy. Lucy changed her phone number (when she got a nice new Samsung 7) and sent a WhatsApp to this friend from the new number. When she eventually realised she had the message (she is not very good with techie stuff) she went to save it as 'him'. I said that it was Lucy's number not his and she shrugged her shoulders and laughed saying it was the same thing...... well to me and to Lucy it isn't and the response or messages are different depending if you are messaging him or Lucy. Then we had a chat about Pink Punters and she was saying how much she enjoyed the trans nights, how much fun they were and that she didn't understand why we also like to go on other non trans nights. I asked her what she enjoyed so much about the trans nights and the answer was.... the trans....... Well then! She enjoys it because it is not the 'norm'. Despite me saying that is not what would be deemed as being a 'normal' night out clubbing (normal clubbing anywhere else would not be a club packed full of predominately trans people) she didn't understand why we would like to go when there are only a handful of trans and the rest just normal clubbing people..... she doesn't understand that Lucy was wants to be part of the 'normal' world not one where she only associates with trans people. This friends attitude just frustrates me. I know it cannot be easy for her but I do need her to be a bit more considerate of Lucy.
On the upside, I do know she is very envious at the complete and utter love we have for each other and always has been. Many times she has passed comment when Lucy and I have been having a laugh together that what we have is true love. Of course it is!! Nothing truer!