Relationships and more

The name change deed poll is all done and dusted. Lucy went into the bank to change the name on his bank account to hers but unfortunately the bank teller wanted to do it at the counter (in front of the queue of people). Obviously Lucy was not comfortable about this and doubted the male teller would be able to hide the shocked look on his face. So now the deed poll and form are in the post to the bank. All the loyalty cards are starting to come in with Lucy's name on them and she is so excited.

Although I have done lots of my own research about the transition process and the impact, I had not done much on relationships as I truely do not doubt our relationship. I was shocked to see that the majority of marriages do fail during or after transition and that the attitude I have towards Lucy and this change is highly unusual but is every trans dream. I truely love the person inside and I have been with this person so long now so how could I not be supportive but also how could I not have this person in my life??? I am not naive enough to not realise that the way ahead will be rocky and a rollercoaster ride but we will do this together.

Already my mind is in overdrive playing conversations I will have with people, what order to tell people and who to tell and who not to. The trouble is that news like this is considered good gossip so even if people are not told they will envitably find out one way or another. I also DO NOT want people to feel sorry for me..... I knew about this in the early days of our relationship and knew that transition was going to be a high probabilty.... not if, but when. Only this week I was contacted by a wife of trans partner as she had heard from another trans friend what Lucy was preparing to do. Although I appreciated her contacting me we both couldn't but think that it only came about as our 'friends' had been gossiping about us already and this is only with a handful of people knowing and people that are from the trans community themselves.

It is funny how you realise that he has been going away slowly for a very long time. He wore a suit tonight which he rarely wears however he was off to football and he looked fantastic which made me a little sad that this was probably one of the last few times I would see him like this. However Lucy was also very sad to be dressed like this and looked very uncomfortable which also made me sad.

I still cannot understand why some people have not appeared to notice anything different or maybe they have but just have not noticed. Long finger nails, plucked eye lashes, completely shaved forearms and longer hair. 

And then it is the funny conversations you have. Tonight it was fake boobs or not...... I never had an opinion really but he was always anti however think this is something that Lucy is considering.

We are closer than we have ever been. I am feeling totally consumed with love for this person and although we have been together nearly 15 years, I yearn for her all the time and my heart just swells whenever I think about her. She seems so much more settled now the transition decision has been made and we are now on the count down to D day - the first appointment with the GP which is now only a few days away. I just hope that the GP is supportive and understanding. Watch this space!