My children

After being officially told about Lucy it seems all my sons want to come out with us and meet Lucy properly. This is amazing. My eldest S and his pregnant wife C came out with us last month for BNO at Pinks. We got them all booked into the Hilton Doubletree hotel with the room next to us. We all got changed and prepared and were going out for dinner first but before that of course they had to meet Lucy properly!

Lucy was understandably very nervous. We messaged them when we were ready and they met us at our room door. They were totally amazing with lots of smiles and hugs and of course lots of pictures. We went off for dinner together where we had a really lovely meal. They both asked lots of great questions and Lucy and I answered everything. It was quite emotional as they were both really very interested and were very keen to understand and support Lucy. Bearing in mind how new this was for them both (well not that new as they had known for well over a year) not once did they use the wrong name on incorrect pronoun. Actually since finding out S uses the name Lucy all the time. Her dead name is dead to him and his wife which again is amazing!

Off we went to Pinks where it turned out our daughter in law had forgotten her ID (she is 28 and pregnant) and after a fraught few minutes where we didn't think she was going to get in, they did let her in after a discussion with the head of security called by one of the main doormen who is a friend of ours (unfortunately for some reason the doorman we were dealing with seemed to have an issue with us). They came and met many of our friends and were happily interacting and chatting with everyone without batting an eye or being surprised at any of the people they met. It was great showing them around to all the different places that make up Pinks.

Bearing in mind my daughter in law is pregnant, they both stayed out til gone 3am which is late for them at the best of times. The friends of ours they met they seemed to hit it off straight away with and S and C said they had an amazing time. All in all a great night.

For Oct BNO my son S decided he wanted to come again but this time with my daughter B (who has been a few times before). As we were already booked into the Doubletree we got 2 extra rooms, one for S and B and another for one of my friends (who has also been before). We always check in online and therefore we can get the rooms all next to each other and generally near the lift so we don't have to walk far.

As we had all managed to get the Friday off or a half day we left early which got us up to Milton Keynes early. This was great as it meant we could go shopping in the shops right by the hotel. There is a Primark there and as usual Lucy found a dress in there and despite the numerous dresses she had brought with her, she ended up wearing the newly purchased dress.

Again we all went out for dinner and met up with Paulette and her lovely girlfriend Lorraine and after made our way into Pinks with no issues.

This particular night was the busiest we have seen Pinks for very many years. It was totally rammed with all sorts of people but more importantly we saw so many of our community friends together for the first time in ages. It made for a totally great night and S and B had a great time and have now virtually met most of the important people in our life (except one very special couple Jenny and Ethan which we will have to sort out). My friend also had a great time. She has not been out with us for over a year and seemed to be getting on with a couple of friends of ours rather well......

When we got home and Lucy started to unpack she realised that we had not checked the wardrobe and she had left all her other dresses in there. A frantic call to the hotel and a wait until Monday, the dresses were confirmed as being safe and arrived this week.... phew! Sadly this is not the first time she has done this!

This now leaves my other two sons, J and N, they and their girlfriends who are all booked to come out with us for November BNO at Pinks which they all seem to be looking forward to. B and S have also said that they have had such a great time out with us that they also want to come again. S had better get in before the baby arrives ;) The only thing is that our youngest daughter M is quite envious that she is unable to join us on these events but we have promised her we will take as soon as she is 18 but that is a while off yet. We will still be going as we have always been party people and that won't change! :)

We have also booked a holiday for next year. Emma our nail lady has a villa in the Turkish part of Cyprus which she rents privately. It has 3 bedrooms and holds 6 people and has a private pool. Totally perfect for us so we have booked to go end of May/beginning of June and both daughters B and M are coming as are my son S, is wife C and the new baby. We all just can't wait!

The acceptance of my kids has been amazing. I keep saying that I always knew that they would be accepting as I knew how I had brought them up but their attitude has far surpassed anything I/we could have imagined. Knowing they are not just accepting but super supportive of Lucy makes me so incredibly proud but also will help tremendously with the journey we have ahead of us.

All this support and acceptance just makes it hit home how hard it must be for those people who don't have a partner or a supportive partner and those whose families are not supporting them or who have disowned them however we try to be super supportive of all our friends and those that have met the kids so far have also felt the love from them. We are under no illusions about how hard the road ahead will be but with all this loving support it can only make it an easier ride for us both. As much as I love my wider family, it is my immediate family unit that is the most important to me and that unit is Lucy, my children and their partners and our impending grandchild. I only hope that when we tell Lucy's sons that they can draw support and acceptance from their brothers and sisters.

My youngest sister and my brother in law

I am the eldest of 4 children. I have 2 sisters and a brother. As I have already written we are a close family. My parents and my brother live relatively close by, my 2 sisters live 40 mins or so from each other and the closest, my youngest sister lives just under 2 hours away.

She (A) is the one who probably looks the most like me apart from her red hair, and we have much in common despite the 7 year age gap. We have daughters the same age, 21 and 15, with only a few weeks gap between each of them and obviously this meant we were pregnant at the same time. We both have other children but our girls are particularly close and although they are cousins they are in many ways like sisters.

During the summer holidays I arranged to go and spend the day with her and our 2 youngest daughters. My other sister was away so was unable to come too but it was lovely spending quality time with A. We got there early and had a great time catching up and then went to walk her dog before we headed off to the shops and for lunch.

We were on our own as the girls had stayed behind as they were far too busy and having so much fun playing Just Dance to come with us. Whilst we were walking the dog we were talking about future plans and the mood was just right so I told her that we had some great plans for 2018 and that recent job changes and ‘him’ starting a new business were part of that plan. She was curious about what it all meant so I just blurted out that ‘he’ was transgendered.

She said that she was surprised but not shocked. She thought that 'he' had hidden it very well and understood at the way 'he' had portrayed himself to be something he wasn't. She was unexpectedly very understanding and supportive and asked several questions about Lucy and the situation and what the future plans were. She was very much of the attitude that you should live your life how you want to and not worry about everyone else. I showed her some pictures and she was amazed and said how you would have never have known this was the 'man' she knew and Lucy looked great. Lucy's birthday was only a few weeks away and she was adamant that she was going to send a female card to her and said there was no point sending anything male oriented as it wouldn't be right. Actually her support was amazing and we spent the rest of the day having snatched conversations when the girls were not in earshot. This gave me the opportunity to really convey how I feel but also explain this hidden part of our life. When it was time to go I did ask her not to tell her husband as I needed to tell Lucy I had told her first. 

When I got home Lucy guessed that I had told A and I then told my sister Lucy knew she knew. This sparked some lovely texts from A to Lucy which was great. Lucy said that it was unfair to expect her to keep such a big secret from her husband M and said she could update him......

Over the years Male Lucy and M have had a brilliant relationship. Very much a bromance and a mutual admiration and deep friendship full of laughter and drunken antics. Our families have holidayed together, as adults we have been to the adult only Warner holidays and we have had lots of fun times together and M is always asking after 'him' (because male Lucy does not go to many family events as 'he' just does not feel comfortable).

I'm not sure what sort of reaction we were expecting. Up until this point everyone who had been told had been really supportive and accepting. We knew that this couldn't continue.....

For a while we were on tenderhooks knowing that A was telling M and we kept checking my phone for messages. Eventually A messaged..... M had taken it very badly.... he was absolutely devastated and had likened the loss he was feeling akin to a bereavement. He was mourning the loss of one of his best friends and the relationship they had had and was physically very upset. We were shocked and very saddened at the feelings M was having. Having not met Lucy, M could not know that she was exactly the same person inside, it was just the outside appearance was changing. The messages we were getting were that M was trying to be accepting but needed time to come to terms with the situation and in time he would feel in a position to meet and communicate with Lucy. I could see what this situation was doing to Lucy.... she was upset too and then all the self blame started to surface and she just felt so bad that her situation was causing so much distress.

We didn't hear much for a couple of days until my sister messaged me again to say that M was still very upset, so much so she was worried that their youngest daughter thought the cause of the upset was that they were splitting up and she asked if they could let her know the situation followed by their other 2 older children. The problem we were faced with was that we could not be sure that their children would be able to not say anything to anyone about this huge secret. Whereas my kids and our daughter knew, we knew they would be more discrete as it involved their parents.... this would not be the case for my nieces and nephew. I did message her back with a long explanation as to why we felt uncomfortable about them telling their children and the worry of them outing Lucy before 'go-live day' especially as we still have Lucy's 2 sons to tell but I did end it saying that if they felt they had no other choice then it would be their decision as their parents to make.

To this day we do not know if they have said anything. It is now nearly 2 months later and we have heard nothing from A or M on this subject. My sister has chatted about other things but still nothing has been said. We have no idea how M is doing either. We just hope that he has found a way to accept Lucy. One of my sons who has had a 'last man standing' competition with male Lucy on many occasions was laughing the other day saying that he would now win it by default as Lucy would be the last woman standing!

The reaction of M has been quite eye-opening. Male Lucy has 3 other very close male friends who have the same sort of close relationship with 'him' as M did. It has made us wonder how they will react.... each of these 3 are macho males and enjoy a similar bromance relationship with 'him'. Lucy says she wants to tell them all at the same time whereas I would prefer to stagger it as it could all be just as emotionally draining as the M situation just 3 times worse if dealing with the fallout from 3 friends at the same time. Watch this space!